as a submissive woman do you think

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osf -> as a submissive woman do you think (2/3/2010 8:03:06 AM)
as a submissive woman do you think you think about and see things differently than nilla women? and does you thinking change when you're in a relationship and does it change even more when you're in your masters presence?

Mercnbeth -> RE: as a submissive woman do you think (2/3/2010 8:24:22 AM)
quote: as a submissive woman do you think you think about and see things differently than nilla women? this slave interprets the word vanilla to mean the conventional version of something as compared to an alternative version, such as a relationship---not a person or an activity. that being said, this slave's idea of the ultimate fulfilling relationship is NOT a conventional egalitarian "vanilla" one, but rather one that is based on an alternative foundation~He calls all the shots and this slave doesn't limit Him or His activities. His pleasure is paramount.

AquaticSub -> RE: as a submissive woman do you think (2/3/2010 8:30:06 AM)
Not particularly. I see things my way. As no one else is Aqua, no one else's worldview has been shaped by my unique life experiences, both good and bad. Having Valyraen in my life has shaped my worldview in exactly the same manner as a "vanilla" husband shapes his wife's and she his. My thinking changes a bit when I'm in a relationship, just as I would expect in all healthy relationship. When one ceases to be single and enters into a committed relationship, there are other factors that come into play with their life decisions regardless of relationship style or sexual preferences.

agirl -> RE: as a submissive woman do you think (2/3/2010 9:20:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: osf as a submissive woman do you think you think about and see things differently than nilla women? and does you thinking change when you're in a relationship and does it change even more when you're in your masters presence? Certainly, some things. But not ALL things by a very long shot. No and no..... I just think the way I think. I'm not complicated.....lol agirl

juliaoceania -> RE: as a submissive woman do you think (2/3/2010 9:26:55 AM)
quote: as a submissive woman do you think you think about and see things differently than nilla women? What "things" are we talking about? quote: and does you thinking change when you're in a relationship My thinking has been changed by every intimate relationship I have ever been involved in... whether romantic or not or kinky or not. quote: and does it change even more when you're in your masters presence? I have never had a "master", never will. I like daddy doms. My thinking is pretty consistent.

UniqueRaven -> RE: as a submissive woman do you think (2/3/2010 9:32:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: osf as a submissive woman do you think you think about and see things differently than nilla women? Do ANY two women ever see everything the same? i see things differently than others as a yoga teacher too. quote: and does you thinking change when you're in a relationship No. quote: and does it change even more when you're in your masters presence? No. And for me it's my Owner. [;)] For both of these last two questions: Answering "yes" would imply that there are times when i'm not being my genuine self, and to some extent choosing those times - and i'm always my genuine self, as best as i can be. "Slave" and "Property" are just one facet of what makes me, me.

peppermint -> RE: as a submissive woman do you think (2/3/2010 9:47:06 AM)
I'm sorry. Whether I have submissive stamped on my forehead or not, I am still the same person that I have always been. I don't change myself and play some sort of role when I am with my Dom, nor does he.

LillyoftheVally -> RE: as a submissive woman do you think (2/3/2010 10:07:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: osf as a submissive woman do you think you think about and see things differently than nilla women? Because of my oriantation? nope not at all, all us submissive types don't think the same so I imagine I think differently to a lot of people and similar to others. quote: and does you thinking change when you're in a relationship Well I the person I am in a relationship with has prominence in my thoughts but the way I think, no. quote: and does it change even more when you're in your masters presence? Nope

QuirkyAnne -> RE: as a submissive woman do you think (2/3/2010 12:42:13 PM)
Only in the sense that what I do in the privacy of my bedroom with my partner is simply "different" than that of a vanilla woman or couple. I doubt that vanilla women think how much they really want their partner to break out the shackles, chains, and hot wax. Other than that, nope, not at all. I've got the same thoughts and concerns that plague vanilla and rocky road women everywhere, like: am I going to get the bills paid on time, do I have time to sleep in, where the hell did I put my car keys, FOX News sucks, etc. etc. etc.

lally2 -> RE: as a submissive woman do you think (2/3/2010 1:02:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: osf as a submissive woman do you think you think about and see things differently than nilla women? i have no idea since im not a 'nilla woman and i dont suppose i ever have been. how i think is how ive always thought and does you thinking change when you're in a relationship yes. part of the deal with taking me on is to get me freakin organised or nothing will ever go to plan. in being made to focus on stuff i tend to then relax. something in me softens out and i ease up on myself, stop beating myself up and runing around in ridiculous circles. and does it change even more when you're in your masters presence? yes. i relax more again. when im handing it all over to him physcially and mentally i just level out totally and give my attention to him, that removes my head from the detritus of life, all the pressures and anxieties and i am his, focused on him completely. ... and ive just burnt the damn toast again[/i]!

LillyoftheVally -> RE: as a submissive woman do you think (2/3/2010 1:03:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: QuirkyAnne Only in the sense that what I do in the privacy of my bedroom with my partner is simply "different" than that of a vanilla woman or couple. Is it? quote: I doubt that vanilla women think how much they really want their partner to break out the shackles, chains, and hot wax. You would be surprised. quote: do I have time to sleep in, . The MOST important question in the world and tomorrow I get to [:D]

lally2 -> RE: as a submissive woman do you think (2/3/2010 1:49:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally quote: ORIGINAL: QuirkyAnne . quote: do I have time to sleep in, . The MOST important question in the world and tomorrow I get to [:D] but its thursday tomorrow, how come you get to have a lie in and noone else does - [sm=hissyfit.gif]

agirl -> RE: as a submissive woman do you think (2/3/2010 2:01:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 quote: ORIGINAL: osf as a submissive woman do you think you think about and see things differently than nilla women? i have no idea since im not a 'nilla woman and i dont suppose i ever have been. how i think is how ive always thought and does you thinking change when you're in a relationship yes. part of the deal with taking me on is to get me freakin organised or nothing will ever go to plan. in being made to focus on stuff i tend to then relax. something in me softens out and i ease up on myself, stop beating myself up and runing around in ridiculous circles. and does it change even more when you're in your masters presence? yes. i relax more again. when im handing it all over to him physcially and mentally i just level out totally and give my attention to him, that removes my head from the detritus of life, all the pressures and anxieties and i am his, focused on him completely. ... and ive just burnt the damn toast again[/i]! You need a lie in ..... and a dom that can make toast.......LOL agirl

Delphinus -> RE: as a submissive woman do you think (2/3/2010 2:15:34 PM)
as a submissive woman do you think you think about and see things differently than nilla women? Yes, I do think I see things differently. I acquiesce more because I like the way it makes me feel. I don't know that that's a submissive vs. vanilla thing. That's just a difference I notice between myself and others, very often. and does you thinking change when you're in a relationship Well, if it's a harmful relationship, I don't acquiesce at all. I pull and cut bait. So yes, I suppose it does, dependent on the health of the relationship. and does it change even more when you're in your masters presence? No, not so much. I think I have pretty much the same mindset no matter what. It's just a matter of being vocal about it or being able to express it in different ways with my Master or having to respect societal rules that my acquaintances probably don't want to hear all about the inner workings of my submissive mind.

LillyoftheVally -> RE: as a submissive woman do you think (2/3/2010 2:37:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Delphinus as a submissive woman do you think you think about and see things differently than nilla women? Yes, I do think I see things differently. I acquiesce more because I like the way it makes me feel. I don't know that that's a submissive vs. vanilla thing. That's just a difference I notice between myself and others, very often. I am just wondering how acquiescence is related to the way you think? I am not being snarky I just thought it was interesting

littlewonder -> RE: as a submissive woman do you think (2/3/2010 2:39:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: osf as a submissive woman do you think you think about and see things differently than nilla women? and does you thinking change when you're in a relationship and does it change even more when you're in your masters presence? I don't separate people into "nilla" or otherwise. People and relationships are pretty much all the same imo. I don't think any diffrerently than anyone else. My thinking doesn't change. I don't switch gears, I don't think I"m special. I don't think we're special. We're just human beings like everyone else on the planet. I like love, romance, flowers, fucking, sex, intimacy, touch, being with a man who is compatible with me.....pretty much what most women want in a relationship. I'm not any different at all. I simply defer to the head of the household, the man in my life....pretty traditional role.

Dominasola -> RE: as a submissive woman do you think (2/3/2010 2:48:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: osf and does it change even more when you're in your masters presence? If the s-type's thinking changes between when she is away from and with her D-type, then she probably shouldn't be in the relationship at all. [8\|]

lally2 -> RE: as a submissive woman do you think (2/3/2010 2:54:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: agirl quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 quote: ORIGINAL: osf as a submissive woman do you think you think about and see things differently than nilla women? i have no idea since im not a 'nilla woman and i dont suppose i ever have been. how i think is how ive always thought and does you thinking change when you're in a relationship yes. part of the deal with taking me on is to get me freakin organised or nothing will ever go to plan. in being made to focus on stuff i tend to then relax. something in me softens out and i ease up on myself, stop beating myself up and runing around in ridiculous circles. and does it change even more when you're in your masters presence? yes. i relax more again. when im handing it all over to him physcially and mentally i just level out totally and give my attention to him, that removes my head from the detritus of life, all the pressures and anxieties and i am his, focused on him completely. ... and ive just burnt the damn toast again[/i]! You need a lie in ..... and a dom that can make toast.......LOL agirl yes i do! - dammit - and a dom who makes toast would be lovely or a dom who spanks me for burning the toast would do equally well [:)] - im flexible

QuirkyAnne -> RE: as a submissive woman do you think (2/3/2010 4:16:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally quote: I doubt that vanilla women think how much they really want their partner to break out the shackles, chains, and hot wax. You would be surprised. I'm not talking about people that are vanilla only because they haven't tried anything kinky. I meant that in respect to the women who really truly are NOT aroused by BDSM aspects in their sex lives.

lucylucy -> RE: as a submissive woman do you think (2/3/2010 4:43:13 PM)
as a submissive woman do you think you think about and see things differently than nilla women? My first response to this question is, How would I know how a vanilla woman thinks and sees things? It's not like I "turned submissive" or anything. I've always been this way, but I didn't understand it until last year. I did consider myself vanilla until last year, although I now firmly believe I was in denial about who/what I am. Anyway, I'll answer your question in terms of how I think differently now that I know I'm not vanilla compared with how I thought when I believed I was vanilla. Kind of changing the terms of your question a bit--hope it's not too much of a hijack. I don't think my thinking and seeing has changed as much as my feeling has, and that's only changed a bit. I feel more secure and trusting in the world and I have fewer doubts about myself. I was pretty secure before, but not very trusting. I had few doubts about myself but now I have even fewer. I had a lot of self-confidence before and now I have even more. I wasn't a messed up person, I wasn't struggling to fit into my world, I wasn't weak, I didn't need direction--and I still don't. None of that has changed. I suppose what's happened is that all of my strengths have become even stronger and all of my anxieties have lessened. The only significant change for me is that I better understand myself and my responses to the world and I am more comfortable with my responses. I don't see the world differently. and does you thinking change when you're in a relationship I began to understand that I am submissive about a month before I met my owner, so I really haven't been out of a relationship since I realized I was submissive, so I can't really answer this questions. and does it change even more when you're in your masters presence? When I am in my owner's presence, I feel completely at peace with the world, completely safe, completely taken care of. I guess I see the world as his prerogative to handle when I'm in his presence, whereas when we're apart, I do have to deal with the world. I'm good at dealing with the world, for the most part (I'm a working single mother--you pretty much have to be able to handle the world on your own in that situation), but it does sap my energy sometimes. When I'm with my owner and he's dealing with the world, my energy can be all focused on him and my daughter.

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