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theobserver -> RE: What exactly is 'great chemistry'? (2/3/2010 11:38:41 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: stella41b
What is 'chemistry' to you? How easy is it to find chemistry with other people? How much importance do you attach to chemistry when developing or forming a relationship?
Is it necessary to have chemistry at the start or are you prepared to invest time to see if it develops?
Can chemistry be misleading or deceptive?
Hi Stella!
I'd like to answer your questions one at a time. As a disclaimer, these are my opinions (and experiences) and may not be considered true for others:
What is 'chemistry' to you?
Answer: I'm going to answer this from a 'romantic' perspective because this question can be applied to platonic friendships as well: Chemistry is a combination of emotional and intellectual attraction that melds into something physical. It is something that is unspoken. It's either there or it isn't. Whether it be meeting someone and feeling an immediate level of comfort and security or being drawn to their presence; it's in the first connection and hard to turn away from.
It's a very nuanced reality, complicated and not necessarily definitive except for the fact that if it's missing the 'relationship' cannot move forward beyond the acquaintance or platonic stage.
For example:
You can be intellectually drawn to some one, in that you have ease of conversation and shared interests; you can also appreciate the aesthetic beauty in another but if the emotional component is not there, nothing can move forward in any physical and/or romantic way.
How easy is it to find chemistry with other people?
In my experience, it can be a needle haystack thing but that depends on the environment you find yourself in and whether it consists of people that share many of the qualities that attract you to a lover or friend. It's only natural that the more people around you that possess the emotional and mental characteristics you find pleasing, the more likely you'll find that unspoken chemistry with some of them.
How much importance do you attach to chemistry when developing or forming a relationship?
I place a lot of importance in it, because for me, it's the gateway to bonding with another. I could meet someone that may not be the complete physical dreamboat I imagine in my fantasies but if that emotional and intellectual connection is there it will spark an attraction.
Is it necessary to have chemistry at the start or are you prepared to invest time to see if it develops?
For me it's necessary to have chemistry at the start for all the reasons listed above. Trying to move forward without it, is like forcing a square peg through a round hole. It just doesn't fit; the effort is futile.
Can chemistry be misleading or deceptive?
I wouldn't call it deceptive but it can mislead in that it can give you a false sense of security. Because we can have Chemistry with many people in the world but that doesn't mean that a relationship with all of them will work or is meant to last.
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