Why can't I find the portly gentleman... (Full Version)

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ShaharThorne -> Why can't I find the portly gentleman... (2/4/2010 5:56:45 PM)

I just want one man who is portly.  Skinny and muscular men need not apply.  He should be sitting in the basement of his mother's house, wanking off to erotic writings (porn for short).  I will gladly ensure that he gets plenty of beer, that his dinner is cooked and his mother and I make him number 1 in the household.  He should be able to endure my attempts to please him with unconditional desire.

Where, oh where could he be?

[;)]  



dcnovice -> RE: Why can't I find the portly gentleman... (2/4/2010 6:00:21 PM)

Are you willing to have plastic surgery?



purepleasure -> RE: Why can't I find the portly gentleman... (2/4/2010 6:02:11 PM)

if by plastic surgery you mean he will relieve me of the burden of credit cards with low balances and interest for his own personal use, count me in.



ladynlord -> RE: Why can't I find the portly gentleman... (2/4/2010 6:04:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne

He should be sitting in the basement of his mother's house, wanking off to erotic writings (porn for short). 


Well there is your problem darling. You should not let the poor man be looking at generic run of the mill porn....you should be naked and inserting whatever objects come to his mind .... in between dinner and his laundry. 

And while I am pointing out your errors.... Why is he having to wank himself off????  You should be giving him a hand...literally!! The poor mans arms are too tired for all of that do it yourself stuff!

So come on now... lets see you put a little more effort into it![8D]



sappatoti -> RE: Why can't I find the portly gentleman... (2/4/2010 6:08:21 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne

I just want one man who is portly.  Skinny and muscular men need not apply.  He should be sitting in the basement of his mother's house, wanking off to erotic writings (porn for short).  I will gladly ensure that he gets plenty of beer, that his dinner is cooked and his mother and I make him number 1 in the household.  He should be able to endure my attempts to please him with unconditional desire.

Where, oh where could he be?

[;)]  

I've got the portly part covered. It's the rest of those conditions that I cannot possibly meet.

Why do you people insist on being so damned picky?

[sm=river.gif]



sirsholly -> RE: Why can't I find the portly gentleman... (2/5/2010 4:09:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice

Are you willing to have plastic surgery?
his mother did the surgery...but it wasn't really plastic surgery, DC.
All she did was work the air pump (he considerately got her one that was operated by foot action, since the hand model nearly caused her upper arms to flap her to death).
Anyway...mom had to do the pumping, cause attaching the pump to the dolls just sent ol Junior into a fit of inadequacy ("Damnit Ma...the valves are bigger than me!!!")



Lucylastic -> RE: Why can't I find the portly gentleman... (2/5/2010 4:12:20 AM)

H[:D]olly, its far to early to be getting coffeee thru my nose
the flap of death got me
oh Im so glad no one is awake to hear me snort



sunshinemiss -> RE: Why can't I find the portly gentleman... (2/5/2010 4:15:06 AM)

Perhaps the problem, Shahar, is that you are not sending out the right vibes. Go get thee to a redneck bar...practice.



ShaharThorne -> RE: Why can't I find the portly gentleman... (2/5/2010 4:20:24 AM)

Holly...please stop...making me laugh...LOL!

I got one gentleman in the state already.  Will reply to him later.

Maybe I should get a man-harem going to satify my need for domming...LOL



lizi -> RE: Why can't I find the portly gentleman... (2/5/2010 6:33:08 AM)

Thank goodness for this thread, I thought I was the only one out there who liked guys with junk in their trunk [:D]



purepleasure -> RE: Why can't I find the portly gentleman... (2/6/2010 4:43:59 AM)

Is that the same as beef in their boxers?



ShaharThorne -> RE: Why can't I find the portly gentleman... (2/6/2010 6:48:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: purepleasure

Is that the same as beef in their boxers?


SNORT!!!

MD in the nose is rather funny.  Excuse  me while I clean up this mess.

BTW that stings...



ResidentSadist -> RE: Why can't I find the portly gentleman... (2/6/2010 7:23:40 AM)

You don’t mind that I keep mom in the house, everyone else did?







. . . she’s dead btw.



ShaharThorne -> RE: Why can't I find the portly gentleman... (2/6/2010 7:26:45 AM)

That is getting close to Psycho... 



lizi -> RE: Why can't I find the portly gentleman... (2/6/2010 7:51:28 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: purepleasure

Is that the same as beef in their boxers?


That's awesome, I'm so stealing that...



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