Ending the relationship as respectfully as possible

Ending the relationship as respectfully as possible (Full Version)

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ownedbtch -> Ending the relationship as respectfully as possible (2/6/2010 8:24:23 AM)
What is the best approach to do this? My safeword doesnt work anymore and not sure I can actually talk to him about things anymore. First inclination is to leave/disappear but I think that is going to upset him even more then trying to talk to him. Advise please??

myotherself -> RE: Ending the relationship as respectfully as possible (2/6/2010 8:33:43 AM)
So he's ignoring your safeword and not willing to discuss things? I would say that ending this relationship with respect is the least of your concerns! He's acting like an ass - and an unsafe one to boot. Of course I don't know any more than you've written, but if that's the case then you need to remember that respect is a two-way street. He's not respecting you by ignoring your safeword and avoiding the issues by avoiding conversations, so why do you owe him any respect? Your first thought is to just disappear - for me, that's what I'd do. But if you want to make it clear to him why you're kicking him to the kerb (and from the info you've given, you're 100% right to do this, if only for your own safety), then leave him a note, send him a text or email, or whatever, telling him why. Be honest, be truthful and direct, but don't worry about hurting his feelings. He's a big boy, he'll get over it. Then walk away and don't look back. You can do better...don't settle for second-best.

GreedyTop -> RE: Ending the relationship as respectfully as possible (2/6/2010 8:39:19 AM)
what Myo said.

ownedbtch -> RE: Ending the relationship as respectfully as possible (2/6/2010 8:43:11 AM)
thanks...thats what I was thinking too ....

ownedbtch -> RE: Ending the relationship as respectfully as possible (2/6/2010 8:55:56 AM)
afterthought....any way I can get this post deleted?

Jeffff -> RE: Ending the relationship as respectfully as possible (2/6/2010 8:56:55 AM)
Nope........ cat's out of the bag now...:)

ownedbtch -> RE: Ending the relationship as respectfully as possible (2/6/2010 8:58:32 AM)
great....

texangael -> RE: Ending the relationship as respectfully as possible (2/6/2010 9:02:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedbtch What is the best approach to do this? My safeword doesnt work anymore and not sure I can actually talk to him about things anymore. First inclination is to leave/disappear but I think that is going to upset him even more then trying to talk to him. Advise please?? There can be no respect given where none exists. If he will not respect you, it is not possible for you to respect him, even in leaving. You can, however, respect yourself. Advice? Respect yourself--make your health and your safety and your well being a priority in your life, and make your choices accordingly.

myotherself -> RE: Ending the relationship as respectfully as possible (2/6/2010 9:02:42 AM)
I wouldn't worry so much - if he's a big a twat as he sounds, then he deserves the humiliation. But that's the sadist in me coming out! Oh shit...I'm supposed to be a masochist...oooops!! [8\|]

ownedbtch -> RE: Ending the relationship as respectfully as possible (2/6/2010 9:05:35 AM)
lol yea....Im going to try to find out what the deal is and then do what I gotta do....

ownedbtch -> RE: Ending the relationship as respectfully as possible (2/6/2010 9:06:52 AM)
He doesnt get on here much anyhow....its all good

DarkSteven -> RE: Ending the relationship as respectfully as possible (2/6/2010 9:08:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedbtch He doesnt get on here much anyhow....its all good Who cares? It's over. If he gets pissed off, so be it.

Jeffff -> RE: Ending the relationship as respectfully as possible (2/6/2010 9:09:07 AM)
Sounds like he is gonna be pissed either way.

erinroe -> RE: Ending the relationship as respectfully as possible (2/6/2010 9:10:16 AM)
If he's ignoring the safeword, respect has gone out the window. I, personally, would just go and stay gone, if at all possible. If you feel talking to him would do some good, do it publicly, and after having changed your locks and your telephone number. Because people who ignore safewords are generally dangerous, and don't know what safe, sane, and consensual even means.

ownedbtch -> RE: Ending the relationship as respectfully as possible (2/6/2010 9:14:08 AM)
im not going to drag it out of Him......if He doesnt want to talk about things the relationship is over anyway....i wont just be a wall flower I dont work like that....He knows this Anyhow wish me luck :) I will come back with a new username lol

ResidentSadist -> RE: Ending the relationship as respectfully as possible (2/6/2010 9:17:20 AM)
Rendering an opinion on best approach requires my understanding your priorities. Did you want to "leave" or did you want to not "upset" him? Those are contradictory between your "needs" and his "needs". I'm trying to grasp your priorities here and I'm a little foggy... Bes for you or best for him? quote: ORIGINAL: ownedbtch What is the best approach to do this? My safeword doesnt work anymore and not sure I can actually talk to him about things anymore. First inclination is to leave/disappear but I think that is going to upset him even more then trying to talk to him. Advise please??

ownedbtch -> RE: Ending the relationship as respectfully as possible (2/6/2010 9:24:53 AM)
His needs are important...very important but so are mine. And I need to feel safe and be able to talk about things.... I should go....ty all

lizi -> RE: Ending the relationship as respectfully as possible (2/6/2010 9:46:46 AM)
I'm like you, I always like to end things in a way that leaves me feeling like I've taken the high road and done the right thing. However...there sound like there are safety issues here if he's ignoring your safewords and not communicating with you. I'd just disappear. My first thought was to write him a goodbye and explanation but that only gives him a reason to contact you again and I'm concerned that the safety issues are risky enough that you shouldn't have any further contact with him. Things between you and he obviously aren't valuable enough to him if he treats you irresponsibly - you don't 'owe' him a thing at this point. It's always hard to tell with one side of the story present but with the information you've presented I honestly think it is best to just fade away. If he's upset oh well, he should have treated you with more respect in the first place and maybe you'd still be there.

rockspider -> RE: Ending the relationship as respectfully as possible (2/6/2010 9:54:46 AM)
Read the book "The sociopath next door" by Martha Stout. If you find it relates to you and your socalled "owner" get your running shoes on and don't look back.

sexyred1 -> RE: Ending the relationship as respectfully as possible (2/6/2010 10:01:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: rockspider Read the book "The sociopath next door" by Martha Stout. If you find it relates to you and your socalled "owner" get your running shoes on and don't look back. That is a very good book, I think I dated half the men in there.

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