RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment?...

RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment?... (Full Version)

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DeviantKat -> RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment?... (2/6/2010 1:13:28 PM)
So true! That totally slipped my mind. I have found tons of profiles claiming to be women that are really men and vice versa. Im still trying to make sense out of some of it but your reply along with others is opening my eyes a little more to it all. quote: ORIGINAL: EbonyWood quote: ORIGINAL: DeviantKat For me I have always viewed this site to be a save haven for BDSM lifestylers who are able to share their fetish interests openly without judgement. Probably a bad assumption. Admirable but naive. People judge all the time. It's how we navigate life. Some people make those judgements public, and not in a pleasant way. You're probably in the medium to high category of those receiving it. But you've probably also made your own judgement on others. Assuming your hate mail is all from men is a judgement of sorts. They probably are, but you don't know for sure. Besides it's just the internet. It's a pain, but there are worse forms of harassment going on in the real world. Good luck.

LafayetteLady -> RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment?... (2/6/2010 1:18:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lucienne He's not attacking you based on looks. He's attacking you based on you having a vagina. And attacking vaginas is part of what this site is for, but in a consensual and intimate way, of course. I just find it fascinating that you can read a flood of misogynistic tripe like that and respond with "ouchy, he doesn't like my looks, please kiss my boo boo and make it go away." NEWS: Misogynist verbally attacks sex worker. It's not about you. He's obviously an asshole. I don't have any problem with pro-dommes, but I do have an issue with someone running a commercial enterprise trying to masquerade it as some warm fuzzy puppies and rainbows "lifestyle" issue. It's not personal. It's business. I agree with you totally Lucienne quote: ORIGINAL: DeviantKat There should be no room for close minded people in the scene...just my opinion. Really, it always sucks to get an email like that but if you really believe the above, it's time you grew up and lived in the real world. There are closed minded people everywhere. Sadly, people seem to think that BDSM is a haven for people who have no morals, think every sexual activity is "ok" and everyone is "open minded" about everything. That's a fantasy. People in BDSM are just like everyone else.

MissJana -> RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment?... (2/6/2010 1:20:50 PM)
Oh yea, I have gotten that type of email on a few occasions. Just out of the blue from people I have never spoke with and who live halfway across the country or the world. I don't understand WTF is up with that kind of rudeness.

zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment?... (2/6/2010 1:34:31 PM)
quote: Wow really?!?! That actually makes me feel a lot better to know. Im sorry that you get them as well, knowing that some may be sent out at random like that makes a little more sense to me if that is the case. Sure. I'm convinced that it has nothing to do with orientation and everything to do with being female. I used to write blog posts about these messages, just for my own amusement but I've been too busy and lazy to do so. If we ignore them they will stop because it's getting a reaction that gets them off. Ignore and they stop. zeph

dreamerdreaming -> RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment?... (2/6/2010 1:35:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DeviantKat For me I have always viewed this site to be a save haven for BDSM lifestylers who are able to share their fetish interests openly without judgement. Wrong. The internet is not a safe haven. Far from it. I've always viewed this site as a tight knit community for those who love the lifestyle quote: See above. This is not that, at all. Anybody can come here. Those who are harrassing you might be vanilla, or barely kinky at all. They could even be female, or they could be underage. Whatever. They certainly are assholes, if they're sending you venom like this as a first communication. They're getting off on their hopes of distressing you. So don't give them the satisfaction of thinking about them or their message, for any longer than the second it takes to (report?) block and delete. One thing you can do is send messages unopened, to your private email (the one you used to register for this site). Then when you open them there, it won't look like they've been opened to the sender, when they look in their "sent mail" folder. You can then delete them "unread" from your Cmail. Edited to refer you to this thread: http://www.collarchat.com/m_3050268/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#3050350 That person (or people- could be some underage friends) is spamming people, hoping to upset them. So don't be upset. Don't take it personally. OMG I sooo cannot figure out the quote feature. BTW Zephyrofthenorth- I LOVE your new avatar pic! [:)]

GYPSYMAMBO -> RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment?... (2/6/2010 2:03:18 PM)
OP: PPL like to shit on what they CAN'T have... SOME resent paying..tough shit..for them.. don't respond....they give and want negative attention YOU GO GIRL... GM

stef -> RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment?... (2/6/2010 2:37:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DeviantKat For me I have always viewed this site to be a save haven for BDSM lifestylers who are able to share their fetish interests openly without judgement. I've always viewed this site as a tight knit community for those who love the lifestyle site that is something special that we all share with each other. You're setting your self up for disappointment by believing either of those. Having an overlapping interest with someone no more makes you part of a community than having the same favorite color does. The people on this site are just a tiny slice of the overall population. You're going to have the same percentage of genuine people as you will assholes and trolls that the population at large does. Just because it's something kinky that gets their motor running does not mean they'll be any more understanding or any less judgmental than the average bear. The real question here is, why would you let the opinions of a complete stranger affect you in any way, shape or form? Delete their email, block them, report them if you like and then move along and leave them to wallow in the bitterness that will eventually consume them. ~stef

DarkSteven -> RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment?... (2/6/2010 2:58:11 PM)
Flirty email sent to offset the negative ones. [:)]

sexyred1 -> RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment?... (2/6/2010 3:32:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady quote: ORIGINAL: Lucienne He's not attacking you based on looks. He's attacking you based on you having a vagina. And attacking vaginas is part of what this site is for, but in a consensual and intimate way, of course. I just find it fascinating that you can read a flood of misogynistic tripe like that and respond with "ouchy, he doesn't like my looks, please kiss my boo boo and make it go away." NEWS: Misogynist verbally attacks sex worker. It's not about you. He's obviously an asshole. I don't have any problem with pro-dommes, but I do have an issue with someone running a commercial enterprise trying to masquerade it as some warm fuzzy puppies and rainbows "lifestyle" issue. It's not personal. It's business. I agree with you totally Lucienne quote: ORIGINAL: DeviantKat There should be no room for close minded people in the scene...just my opinion. Really, it always sucks to get an email like that but if you really believe the above, it's time you grew up and lived in the real world. There are closed minded people everywhere. Sadly, people seem to think that BDSM is a haven for people who have no morals, think every sexual activity is "ok" and everyone is "open minded" about everything. That's a fantasy. People in BDSM are just like everyone else. And I agree with both smart ladies above me...I mean seriously OP, you are a professional woman. We all get crap emails from time to time. If you are secure with yourself and what you do, why be bothered. Just confidently say, oh..too bad little man, you could never have me anyway, so fuck off. As for this site or BDSM'ers in general...one of my pet peeves is that too many view this as a higher moral ground place than the general population or that we are more forgiving, or offer more sweetness and light than other online venues. Nope, same shit people, different day. Just ignore or tell them off, no problemo.

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment?... (2/6/2010 3:35:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 As for this site or BDSM'ers in general...one of my pet peeves is that too many view this as a higher moral ground place than the general population or that we are more forgiving, or offer more sweetness and light than other online venues. Nope, same shit people, different day. Just ignore or tell them off, no problemo. Same shit people? I don't know about you, Sexy, but I rarely get people slagging me off in the street the way I get CMails-and I live opposite a building site...

DianeB269 -> RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment?... (2/6/2010 3:37:32 PM)
First off, I think you look great...I get shit c-mails like this all the time...It doesn't bother because I don't give a fuck about what people think of me... Like LP stated, just block, delete and move on... Diane

sexyred1 -> RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment?... (2/6/2010 3:40:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 As for this site or BDSM'ers in general...one of my pet peeves is that too many view this as a higher moral ground place than the general population or that we are more forgiving, or offer more sweetness and light than other online venues. Nope, same shit people, different day. Just ignore or tell them off, no problemo. Same shit people? I don't know about you, Sexy, but I rarely get people slagging me off in the street the way I get CMails-and I live opposite a building site... No VC, that is not what I meant. I don't get slagged off in the street either, are you kidding? What I meant was that people on a kink site cannot or should not be held to a higher standard than people from vanilla sites since human behavior is what unites them all.

domiguy -> RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment?... (2/6/2010 3:44:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DeviantKat For me I have always viewed this site to be a save haven for BDSM lifestylers who are able to share their fetish interests openly without judgement. I've always viewed this site as a tight knit community for those who love the lifestyle site that is something special that we all share with each other. Stef nailed it...You got ahold of a bad brain. But let me reaffirm the real reason that you posted.... You are sooooooo fucking stunning!!! WHY WOULD ANYONE ever say anything bad about you??? YOU ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GORGEOUS!!!! You are dreamy!!! Now maybe you should work on the inside. Grow a pair before you post again.

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment?... (2/6/2010 3:58:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 As for this site or BDSM'ers in general...one of my pet peeves is that too many view this as a higher moral ground place than the general population or that we are more forgiving, or offer more sweetness and light than other online venues. Nope, same shit people, different day. Just ignore or tell them off, no problemo. Same shit people? I don't know about you, Sexy, but I rarely get people slagging me off in the street the way I get CMails-and I live opposite a building site... No VC, that is not what I meant. I don't get slagged off in the street either, are you kidding? What I meant was that people on a kink site cannot or should not be held to a higher standard than people from vanilla sites since human behavior is what unites them all. I was kidding, but I think the point stands-if you held CM to vanilla standards I don't think it would come out too clean, let alone any higher ones. (I'm not complaining-I have a block button and a delete button, same as everyone else, plus enough self-confidence to stun a small elephant, so the numpties don't really bother me; I also know that this is the internet, so you can't really hold anyone to any standard at all. But it would be jolly nice, to use a technical term, if we could hold CM to the same standard we hold other interactions.)

PeonForHer -> RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment?... (2/6/2010 3:59:17 PM)
FR: Still not one, single rude cmail. Life's so different in the malesub world.

azjojoba -> RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment?... (2/6/2010 6:51:32 PM)
To begin with, you are definitely a sweet piece of eye candy -- beautiful and you aren't embarrassed to show what you have. The other thing I appreciate is that you say right up front that you are a pro. I'm not into pros, but one thing that bugs me is when a woman keeps you on the hook without telling you. I appreciate your upfront honesty. So, all I can guess is that some men, and probably women, get their yank sessions by insulting you. There are women here that are very judgmental so you can't assume all of the harassers are men. You should just ignore them. The only thing I would suggest is that you could put a more conservative picture for your first one -- but please, keep the others up because there are lots of us guys that enjoy looking at beautiful women without having to verbally abuse them.

SthrnCom4t -> RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment?... (2/6/2010 11:25:10 PM)
Fast Reply - I get a fair amount of mail that I hold no appreciation for. Rarely do I get 'ugly' mail like you posted, however, it has happened once or twice. I use the block feature, followed immediately by the delete feature and chalk it up to the fact that this is 'public' and there are some serious psycho people in this world.

MargueriteV -> RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment?... (2/7/2010 2:51:33 AM)
Some people are just haters. They act like little jacks, and they think they are unaccountable because you can't smack'm through the computer screen. (and yeah I'll completely forgot my own words and be upset when I get hater mail)

thishereboi -> RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment?... (2/7/2010 7:10:07 AM)
This is the internet. There are assholes on the internet. Block and move on, lifes too short to waste on assholes.

thishereboi -> RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment?... (2/7/2010 7:19:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer FR: Still not one, single rude cmail. Life's so different in the malesub world. You've got cmail[:)]

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