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Cuckolding, your thoughts and ideas? - 3/26/2006 3:47:14 PM   
subatODU


Posts: 3
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Hey everyone, I'm in a bit of a personal place and it's hard to come out and just talk about this on my first post.  I'm 23 well educated college student.  I am in a relationship with a fairly vanilla woman.  At my age, as a male, it's hard to find a woman who will accept a submissive man.  

I'm at the point where it's hard for me to be with her anymore and at this point I just want to come out and let her know how I feel.  I want to be cuckolded.  I DO want to continue my relationship, I just want her to make me a cuckold, there is something in the way my brain is wired that this to me is an enjoyable form my mental bondage.  The best solution would be to find someone my age who is into the lifestyle as much as I am, but considering the area it's really difficult to find that. 

Does anyone have any ideas on how I  can propose this to her.  You would think that if a man said to a woman, "Hey, go ahead and have sex with another man, and when you get home I wanna know all about it", she would be very happy, but something tells me she won't :(
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RE: Cuckolding, your thoughts and ideas? - 3/26/2006 5:09:40 PM   
LadyJulieAnn


Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline 		Hiya neighbor,
 
You mention that you feel your girlfriend is "fairly vanilla".  Does that mean she has some ability to be kinky?  Have you honestly spoken with her about your interests?  In my opinion, cuckolding isn't something that can be successful if only one person wants it.  If your girlfriend places a high priority on your relationship being monogamous, your idea will probably offend her.  I would encourage you to seriously think about how your need for "mental bondage" in this way would be beneficial for your relationship overall.  If you are at a point where you find it difficult to be with her unless your need for cuckolding is met, I would wonder about the viability of your relationship in the long term.
 
Best of luck to you,
Julie
 

(in reply to subatODU)
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RE: Cuckolding, your thoughts and ideas? - 3/26/2006 5:11:49 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		You have said she is vanilla, she won't get it--you've also said it's hard for you to be with her anymore---trust Me that will seal the deal. If you are serious about the life--find a Mistress.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to subatODU)
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RE: Cuckolding, your thoughts and ideas? - 3/26/2006 5:18:17 PM   
subatODU


Posts: 3
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		I doubt she would understand, I have told her that I want to be submissive, she isn't responsive to the idea, but honestly I do love her.   I'm assuming that I'm going to have to find a Mistress that will suit my needs,.but at 23, it's difficult.  I love the idea of mental bondage, and honestly cuckolding is a part of that to me

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RE: Cuckolding, your thoughts and ideas? - 3/26/2006 5:20:39 PM   
subatODU


Posts: 3
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

where you find it difficult to be with her unless your need for cuckolding is met, I would wonder about the viability of your relationship in the long term.

Best of luck to you,
Julie


It's not that I need cuckolding, it's the idea of mental incapacitation, being humliated and controlled mentally, i guess becuase I've been so devoid of it, i'm going to the extreme.

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RE: Cuckolding, your thoughts and ideas? - 3/26/2006 5:27:02 PM   
SadisticMinx


Posts: 2
Joined: 10/2/2005
Status: offline 		As another said you need a Mistress who's interested in it not a vanilla girlfriend who's not going to understand that her having sex with other guys is interesting to YOU. Seek someone in D/s that knows what you need and if it's already not good with her then you need to think about what you really want in a relationship and if this is going to hurt her and you both.

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RE: Cuckolding, your thoughts and ideas? - 3/26/2006 6:11:21 PM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subatODU

I want to be cuckolded.  I DO want to continue my relationship, I just want her to make me a cuckold, there is something in the way my brain is wired that this to me is an enjoyable form my mental bondage. 


Sorry, all, but I am going to go in a different direction here.
You want to be cuckolded?  You just want her to make you a cuckold?
 
Then you say, further on in the thread:
 
quote:

I have told her that I want to be submissive, she isn't responsive to the idea, but honestly I do love her.

 
Could you share with us what it is you might be doing to be submissive at this point?  Or is it only the cuckolding fantasy?  I agree it is pretty hard to approach a vanilla with such an extreme interest.  But the way you are approaching things right now, and expressing yourself here regarding what you must have just doesn't sound very submissive to Me. 
Be careful what you wish for.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to subatODU)
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RE: Cuckolding, your thoughts and ideas? - 3/26/2006 6:26:16 PM   
LadyJulieAnn


Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subatODU

I doubt she would understand, I have told her that I want to be submissive, she isn't responsive to the idea, but honestly I do love her.   I'm assuming that I'm going to have to find a Mistress that will suit my needs,.but at 23, it's difficult.  I love the idea of mental bondage, and honestly cuckolding is a part of that to me


Are you planning to leave your relationship if you find a Mistress, or are you hoping to have a Mistress on the side?  Before making a deeper commitment with your girlfriend (if that is the direction it's going), I would encourage you to discuss it with her.
 
Be well,
Julie

(in reply to subatODU)
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RE: Cuckolding, your thoughts and ideas? - 3/27/2006 6:59:29 AM   
DaddyCorsair


Posts: 2
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline 		Hello,  I am new to collarme and this is my first reply to a post so I hope I do it correctly.  I have had some exp as a cuckold and understand probably close to exactly what you are anting, needing.  My suggestion is that you be open and honest with her.  Your desires will not just go away if you are like me.  Those desires can be hidden from everyone but yourself.  In the end you will resent the things in life that you miss out on.  Extreme, I know and I am sorry but that is my take on it.  If she loves you she will listen to you and restpect your feelings.  If she feels the same way then great, if not she at least listened and considered it.  If it isn't in her to deal with who you are then it wasn't meant to be anyway and you lose nothing.  Remember and I know it is hard to do right now, you are young and a day, month or year seems like a life time.  People change, you can suggest it and a year or two from now she may feel the same way.  Or she may not.  Only you can decide whether you stay or go from this relationship you just have to decide which you want more.  Her or to be a submissive.  I will add one last thing.  It isn't what you read about.  It is not easy and is an emotional rollercoaster.  It isn't a book you can put down or stop reading when you get scared.  Be ready and prepared for what you are asking for. 
Good luck,
Corsair

(in reply to LadyJulieAnn)
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RE: Cuckolding, your thoughts and ideas? - 3/27/2006 7:04:29 AM   
DaddyCorsair


Posts: 2
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline 		oh yes spell check is a wonderful thing.  Just another great learning exp     

(in reply to DaddyCorsair)
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RE: Cuckolding, your thoughts and ideas? - 3/27/2006 7:15:12 AM   
TigerLily23


Posts: 53
Joined: 12/16/2005
Status: offline 		Could someone shed some light on this subject for me?  What is cuckolding? I am quite new to the lifestyle and have no idea of what is being discussed...but as everything I have encoutered thus far, I am eager to learn....

_____________________________

Lily

Nosce te ipsum...Know Thyself

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RE: Cuckolding, your thoughts and ideas? - 3/27/2006 8:06:51 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		It's when one man fucks another man's wife.

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RE: Cuckolding, your thoughts and ideas? - 3/27/2006 10:59:40 AM   
DarkSideOfThMoon


Posts: 117
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline 		Its when your wife is sleeping around, you are cuckolded, or become a cuckold. The expression seems to be used in many plays from the shakesperian era, and references to it. Horns are also seen as a symbol of cuckolding, as when a man was cuckolded he was discraced and paraded around the town wearing the horns of a goat or a ram or something.

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RE: Cuckolding, your thoughts and ideas? - 3/31/2006 11:09:15 AM   
YesImTall


Posts: 1
Joined: 3/31/2006
Status: offline 		I also have some experience with this, but from the other side. I think all the advice is very good.

While he's not being submissive to his girl-friend, he is going to be submissive to her lover.

As far as broaching the subject, only you can know when it fits into context in your relationship. I'm sure we could could come up with some ideas.

And above all, be careful what you wish for, you might get it....

Matt





(in reply to DarkSideOfThMoon)
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RE: Cuckolding, your thoughts and ideas? - 3/31/2006 2:44:47 PM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline 		Regarding cuckolding, be warned—they don't always play out as expected.

Fantasies have a Pandoresque knack for living on their own once brought into reality.

(in reply to subatODU)
Profile   Post #: 15
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