what to expect as a live in for a "pansexual" couple? (Full Version)

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MkMeMoldMe -> what to expect as a live in for a "pansexual" couple? (2/7/2010 7:12:16 AM)

I'm in talks with a lovely and seemingly very sincere couple.  I've been looking for a couple for a very long time and really feel they may the the one.   I've never served in the capacity of submissive domestic. I don't think running the house will be a problem since I run my own house.  The position is "live in uniformed domestic for a domme/dom couple, must bisexual. 
The uniform of course is french maid.  The "duties" are run the household, cleaning, laundry, shopping etc.  And to serve as the ladies personal sissy, (not sure what all of it means for her)  living fetish for the master. "play" will be just about everynight. 
The couple claims to have many yrs in the lifestyle and consider a submissive as an asset and will adjust their "training" to the needs and boundries of the new submissive.  They know I'm "new" and have only self educated myself about the lifestyle by reading and being on bdsm sites.but have no real time experience as a sub.
I really want to do this!  I'm going to meet them in Early march to see if the chemistry is there. I'm not planning to "move in" and most likely will visit them every month until I get things cleared up at home. if we are to become a family.
What kind of success/failures have other subs and couples experienced in this type of situation? 



LadyAngelika -> RE: what to expect as a live in for a "pansexual" couple? (2/7/2010 7:28:07 AM)

You have a lot of questions about what to expect and it seems that a lot of what is expected of you isn't clear yet. I would say that this is impeding your chances of success.

I would get more information on what is expected of you before meeting them. You might realise this isn't for you, or you might realise that this has a lot of potential.

Then if you do decide to meet them, my advice to myself and anyone is high hopes and low expectations.

- LA



DarkSteven -> RE: what to expect as a live in for a "pansexual" couple? (2/7/2010 7:37:58 AM)

I suggest that you ask them "What would a typical day/week with you be like"?



MkMeMoldMe -> RE: what to expect as a live in for a "pansexual" couple? (2/7/2010 7:38:17 AM)

Thank you lady Angelika, Well yes, we are exchanging lots of information and the "meeting" will be purely vanilla in nature.   For brevity I've left allot out of this post of course.  It has been stated that the bar will not be set so high that her days will end in exhaustion.  She is not a prisoner and is expected to have friends and activities out of the house too.  



OsideGirl -> RE: what to expect as a live in for a "pansexual" couple? (2/7/2010 7:39:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MkMeMoldMe
The uniform of course is french maid.  The "duties" are run the household, cleaning, laundry, shopping etc.  And to serve as the ladies personal sissy, (not sure what all of it means for her)  living fetish for the master. "play" will be just about everynight. 
So, the way I understand what you've written is:

365 days a year you will dress in a french maid outfit and clean the house, do the laundry, do the shopping. Then almost every night of 365 you will have a play session with the male half.

The best advice I can give you is be realistic about your expectations of this relationship. The life they've outlined may very well happen, but regardless of how immersed you are in wiitwd, real life happens.

Realistically, really cleaning a house in high heels, fishnet stockings and a tight dress is difficult. Realistically, a play session is just as intense for the "D" type and I don't know any that would want to play almost every night. Realistically, that level of play would make for some pretty intense sub drop on the days you didn't play.

Before you jump in with both feet, please look at this logically.

Good luck!



LillyoftheVally -> RE: what to expect as a live in for a "pansexual" couple? (2/7/2010 7:46:19 AM)

Before I answer, I wanted some clarification, the OP's title is related to pansexuality but the actual bulk of the post has no bearing on it whatsoever I was just wondering what that part had to do with it?



MkMeMoldMe -> RE: what to expect as a live in for a "pansexual" couple? (2/7/2010 7:52:45 AM)

yes I agree on all points with you Osidegirl and they also agree with me so far that it all has to be very practical.  Prancing around in a maids get-up does have it's limations for sure, their last live in didn't even wear the uniform.
They realize I'm way down the road of needing to be a sissy maid even though I would like to have some fun.   I do plan to grille them more about the "play" because that can get anyone burned out in short order.



MkMeMoldMe -> RE: what to expect as a live in for a "pansexual" couple? (2/7/2010 7:56:57 AM)

Oh, I've never quite understood the term, pansexual.  Because to me  it seems so many saying they are pansexual are still looking for females anyway.  



Lucienne -> RE: what to expect as a live in for a "pansexual" couple? (2/7/2010 7:58:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

Before I answer, I wanted some clarification, the OP's title is related to pansexuality but the actual bulk of the post has no bearing on it whatsoever I was just wondering what that part had to do with it?


Agreed. My initial response to the title was: vegetables. Expect vegetables.



Lucienne -> RE: what to expect as a live in for a "pansexual" couple? (2/7/2010 7:59:33 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MkMeMoldMe

Oh, I've never quite understood the term, pansexual.  Because to me  it seems so many saying they are pansexual are still looking for females anyway.  


huh?




LillyoftheVally -> RE: what to expect as a live in for a "pansexual" couple? (2/7/2010 8:01:24 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MkMeMoldMe

Oh, I've never quite understood the term, pansexual. Because to me it seems so many saying they are pansexual are still looking for females anyway.


Pansexuality means like multi sexual, to pick partners based on their character rather than their organs. I think you mean poly but I am not sure. Either way I have been with a pansexual poly couple and it didn't work long term for me for many reasons, but I imagine what was expected of me would not be the same as you.

The ideal is as you described, all this amazing kink and them getting their home cleaned, when I was with this couple I was given a list with things such as not being allowed to use chairs unless they were there, problem is that they didn't really factor in reality. A lot of people don't they seem to think that a person is equivalent to a fantasy which it isnt.

Meeting them of course is important, but generally I tend to take things with a pinch of salt for most people. Dynamics grow and evolve and change dependent on the members of the relationship so what they tell you may not be the reality, and talking about it isn't the same as living it.

No one can really tell you what your experience will be but good luck finding out



MkMeMoldMe -> RE: what to expect as a live in for a "pansexual" couple? (2/7/2010 8:06:56 AM)

Ok Poly may be a better term, I'm no expert on all the terms.  I think I did make it clear that my bags are not packed.  The talks with this couple would not have gone this far if I felt they were unrealistic, but I do have a good feeling about them as a couple.  



LillyoftheVally -> RE: what to expect as a live in for a "pansexual" couple? (2/7/2010 8:11:02 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MkMeMoldMe

Ok Poly may be a better term, I'm no expert on all the terms. I think I did make it clear that my bags are not packed. The talks with this couple would not have gone this far if I felt they were unrealistic, but I do have a good feeling about them as a couple.


You don't know what sissy means to her? To be honest I am not sure you know what is or isnt realistic if you do not even know what is expected. To me the OP reaks of fantasy. My response was meant to be answering you as I have experience, kinda what you wanted.

I just feel before you start asking random strangers what you expect you work out what they are about, you dont have to be an expert on terms but you have to know what it is they think they want.



Lucienne -> RE: what to expect as a live in for a "pansexual" couple? (2/7/2010 8:11:59 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MkMeMoldMe
And to serve as the ladies personal sissy, (not sure what all of it means for her) 



I thought this was odd the first time I read it. How does a woman act as a "sissy"? The concept of lady's maid is easy enough to grasp, but what's going on with the expected "sissy" dynamic. And then I read your profile. In which you clearly state that as a post-op, you will not accept anyone treating you as something other than a woman. Which seems to raise some red flags in the "sissy" department. I don't know. Perhaps this all makes sense with more details. I'm not asking you to share those details, just pointing out something I noticed for your consideration or dismissal. :)

Also, you are very pretty and I think you've done a pretty good job expressing yourself in your profile. I hope you find what you're looking for.



DarkSteven -> RE: what to expect as a live in for a "pansexual" couple? (2/7/2010 8:46:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne
How does a woman act as a "sissy"? The concept of lady's maid is easy enough to grasp, but what's going on with the expected "sissy" dynamic. And then I read your profile. In which you clearly state that as a post-op, you will not accept anyone treating you as something other than a woman. Which seems to raise some red flags in the "sissy" department.



I suspect that OP is clear in what she wants, but is not using the word "sissy" in its usual context.



MkMeMoldMe -> RE: what to expect as a live in for a "pansexual" couple? (2/7/2010 9:10:53 AM)

thanks everyone really!  I'm trying real hard to not be naive on my approach and hell,  I've been a business woman, feminist and lesbian,, I would like to have some fun before I get too old!  Sissy is term and there are genetic women that do the sissy thing too as there are babygirls and abs in both genders.  I'm trying to honest in this thread.

And I am engaged in talking with this couple. they do know about my limits and hardlines. the lady is away. Much of the talking I think will be doneduring our initial real time meeting, (in a public place of course)  I do really move slow on such things and if it comes to pass it may take up to a year for me to make the move.  Thank you for the compliments also!  I do feel your all looking out for me!  :)  



windchymes -> RE: what to expect as a live in for a "pansexual" couple? (2/7/2010 9:16:39 AM)

Yeah, the "sissy" part confused me, because your photo is really beautiful and feminine-looking. "Sissy" maid in here, if I have interpreted it correctly, means a male assuming the role of a female for humiliation of some degree. (I could be wrong about the humiliation part, but most of the sissy-maid types that I've read posts from usually seem kind of "happily-humiliated" to me).

Anyway, I agree that the whole thing sounds pretty fantastical....something that is fun on the internet, or might last a little while in real time, but then wears thin before you or they know it. One of those "be careful what you wish for" things. If they grow tired of their game, you could be out on your ear, no matter what they promise you beforehand. Please make sure you have a back-up plan in place before committing.

I do wish you the best, though! :)



windchymes -> RE: what to expect as a live in for a "pansexual" couple? (2/7/2010 9:19:45 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MkMeMoldMe

thanks everyone really!  I'm trying real hard to not be naive on my approach and hell,  I've been a business woman, feminist and lesbian,, I would like to have some fun before I get too old!  Sissy is term and there are genetic women that do the sissy thing too as there are babygirls and abs in both genders.  I'm trying to honest in this thread.

And I am engaged in talking with this couple. they do know about my limits and hardlines. the lady is away. Much of the talking I think will be doneduring our initial real time meeting, (in a public place of course)  I do really move slow on such things and if it comes to pass it may take up to a year for me to make the move.  Thank you for the compliments also!  I do feel your all looking out for me!  :)  



Ohhhhhhh-kay, the bolded line raises a red flag for me. You could very likely be talking to a man having a BIG online fantasy. "The lady is away", how convenient. It does happen quite frequently online. Proceed with caution, danger Will Robinson! :)



MkMeMoldMe -> RE: what to expect as a live in for a "pansexual" couple? (2/7/2010 9:49:06 AM)

Yes I spoke to her briefly before she left on her trip. I understand she doesn't want to open up until she's sure I'm real and so many just don't follow through on both parts.  I'm also talking with him about his and my real expectations in daily life.  My back up plan is to move south and be near my adult kids and grand kids. always was.
 



LillyoftheVally -> RE: what to expect as a live in for a "pansexual" couple? (2/7/2010 10:15:25 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MkMeMoldMe

Yes I spoke to her briefly before she left on her trip. I understand she doesn't want to open up until she's sure I'm real and so many just don't follow through on both parts. I'm also talking with him about his and my real expectations in daily life. My back up plan is to move south and be near my adult kids and grand kids. always was.



This was something that the woman said in my relationship, she didnt want to talk to me or get too involved because shes been messed about, problem was that excuse was used after met them properly (we had first met at a club) and then after I had been visiting for a few months indeed it never really went away.

So many couples are looking for this and the whole 'we have been messed around' thing is rolled out a lot, and to be honest it a bit shoddy. I know its hard not to tar with the brush but still is a little shit, you should have to be convinced as much as them



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