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The insanity of race - 2/7/2010 4:12:16 PM   
StrangerThan


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So, this guy proclaims his racial preference, then proceeds to claim racism because some of those he targeted expressed a different racial preference.

I want to follow this logic. It is ok to express a racial preference, and once you've done so, those contacted are forever forbidden to have any feeling at all on the subject unless it agrees with yours.

Right?

Gotcha.

The absolute hilarity of some folks here is just priceless.

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RE: The insanity of race - 2/7/2010 4:19:38 PM   
tazzygirl


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Status: offline 		Im mixed on this one. Is having a racial preference for a partner any different than having a preference for bald men? Or skinny women? Or blondes over red heads?

quote:

I want to follow this logic. It is ok to express a racial preference, and once you've done so, those contacted are forever forbidden to have any feeling at all on the subject unless it agrees with yours.


Speaking only for myself, upon seeing this on anyone's profile, i would not wish to converse with such a person, but i would respect them for their honesty.

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RE: The insanity of race - 2/7/2010 4:29:22 PM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
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Status: offline 		That surprises you?

That racial preferences spark emotional and sometimes irrational responses from people?

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RE: The insanity of race - 2/7/2010 4:34:59 PM   
juliaoceania


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quote:

ORIGINAL: StrangerThan

I'm not much of a profle browser, but when you log into CM, the friendly software here pops one up for you and sometimes I can't help myself.

So, this guy proclaims his racial preference, then proceeds to claim racism because some of those he targeted expressed a different racial preference.

I want to follow this logic. It is ok to express a racial preference, and once you've done so, those contacted are forever forbidden to have any feeling at all on the subject unless it agrees with yours.

Right?

Gotcha.

The absolute hilarity of some folks here is just priceless.


You know I have been attacked for preferring tall men for example, I mean if you want to express outrage because someone has preferences that don't include your demographic, well it is a little like pissing in the wind if you ask me...

And yes, there are people from some races that I do not usually find appealing because of my personal preferences... and no, I do not think that makes me "racist"... I am not usually attracted to blonde men either and I am a blonde. So what? Who cares?

I have dated one Black guy and one Latino guy and one American Indian guy.... but that doesn't necessarily mean I am not a racist either....

I suppose I think of someone being racist as someone who thinks someone is less than they are, or buys into stupid stereotypes... not someone who would rather date into their own ethnic group.. most of us prefer to date intraracially because that is what we are used to and usually find more attractive... what is the harm in that?


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RE: The insanity of race - 2/7/2010 4:39:46 PM   
DrkJourney


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Status: offline 		Speaking only for me and my opinion, I have never understood the reason for "listing" what race you prefer.  If you have a preference fine, but no need to make it a focal point.  Just like if you prefer only those that are thin or with big hooters....so just look for those, but no need to make those that don't fit that pattern feel less, or worse yet the ones that do fit your criteria feel like nothing but a color, or a body type and less than a real person without feelings or a personality at all

It is a real turn off to me when someone emails me and that's all they can talk about is race.  So the only reason they are talking to me is because I happen to be a color that they like...seriously they won't to talk about nothing else.  More often than not, in my experience, it's all about some stupid fantasy and not about being compatible, which usually means more than not, you will be treated like some item on a bucket list of things they want to try before they go to their reward, which means no matter what spin they put on it, you will be nothing but a one night stand...I am not interested.

And I'm not only referring to those that are the opposite color as I, but also the same color..those that think just because we are the same color I "owe" them something and just like the others with color preference, I do not have the right to refuse them or I'm prejudice against my own....they never stop to think that maybe I don't want to talk to them is because they are a jackass.

Like tazzygirl said, I do not wish to converse with such people.


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RE: The insanity of race - 2/7/2010 4:42:26 PM   
juliaoceania


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quote:

o just look for those, but no need to make those that don't fit that pattern feel less, or worse yet the ones that do fit your criteria feel like nothing but a color, or a body type and less than a real person without feelings or a personality at all


I know for me when men would email me and ask why I was not interested in them, for whatever reason, and you tell them.. "I like taller men, or older men or younger men" they get testy and say "Why didn't you spell it out on your profile so I wouldn't waste both our time?"

You can't please everyone, so the best thing to do is please yourself


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RE: The insanity of race - 2/7/2010 4:50:07 PM   
DrkJourney


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Status: offline 		That's fine and dandy whatever they want to put in their profiles, it's free country...I was stating my opinion, which is along the lines of pleasing myself. 

When someone emails me is more what I was focusing on, and what they put in those emails, which is about the only way I see such profiles.  I don't give a reason, per se, I am polite, and simply say I don't think we have a lot in common and move on.  I rarely get those that have a problem.  Usually the only ones I have problems with when I say this are those in nigeria, but that has nothing to do with race or any kind of perference really.

I really don't owe anyone an explanation, I have a right to choose just like everyone else, and that's what I tell them

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RE: The insanity of race - 2/7/2010 4:58:42 PM   
juliaoceania


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quote:

I really don't owe anyone an explanation, I have a right to choose just like everyone else, and that's what I tell them


I was on a site that one could put their ethnic preferences at one time... alt.com... it was part of the search parameters and it also registered in your "cupid" settings... along with the age preferences and other preferences... I have never personally listed this as a criteria outside of that site, just randomly, on a profile page.

Even though it was listed as a certain search parameter on alt, I got emails that I was "racist"... just because I filled out the cupid settings. Since that time my leanings and personal preferences have changed in this regard and I would not list race as a criteria in my searches... But at the time I felt bad that I was accused of being racist because I filled out the profile questions and only answered "Caucasian" .. which wasn't really meant to exclude anyone... but more to include only certain profiles in my searches of the men that I am usually attracted to.


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RE: The insanity of race - 2/8/2010 12:07:56 AM   
Termyn8or


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Status: offline 		Racism is not the same thing as bigotry. Roget never said that a synonym is exactly the same, right ?

T

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RE: The insanity of race - 2/8/2010 3:06:32 PM   
Vendaval


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Status: offline 		Hypocrisy and strong feelings about race and ethnic background abound in our society. Just do a quick search in any of the forums and you can view some of the flames.

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RE: The insanity of race - 2/8/2010 3:21:19 PM   
stella41b


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Status: offline 		Bunch of sexists, the lot of you! 

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RE: The insanity of race - 2/8/2010 5:24:51 PM   
juliaoceania


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval

Hypocrisy and strong feelings about race and ethnic background abound in our society. Just do a quick search in any of the forums and you can view some of the flames.


And race is nothing but a cultural construct anyways...  which is why I would not specify that category in the future if I were to be in the market again


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

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Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: The insanity of race - 2/8/2010 5:28:18 PM   
juliaoceania


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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

Bunch of sexists, the lot of you! 


I think that was exactly my point, Stella...thank you...

We all have our particulars that we put into our profiles.. it does not mean we do not accept nor like others that do not fall into that category..

I like young people under the age of 35, I do not date them though

I love other women... but I do not date them either...

We all have an idea of the parameters we seek in.. some of our tents are bigger than others, and those with small tents really only hurt their chances of finding a suitable partner by narrowing their field of vision... they really are hurting no one else.


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

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RE: The insanity of race - 2/8/2010 9:27:27 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
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Status: offline 		Like Julia says it's just a matter of preferance.
There's two really cute Chinese ladies at the all you can eat Chinese buffet that I go to that I'd love to go out with.
Petite, cute, real "spinners!"
But, I was a Sailor for many years and I like a little spice in life!

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RE: The insanity of race - 2/8/2010 9:30:42 PM   
thishereboi


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Status: offline 		I don't have a problem with people stating their racial preferences or age or any others they might have. But yea it is a bit odd that he then turned around and called someone racist because he wasn't someone they preferred.

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RE: The insanity of race - 2/8/2010 10:20:34 PM   
Termyn8or


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Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline 		"So, this guy proclaims his racial preference, then proceeds to claim racism because some of those he targeted expressed a different racial preference."

This might be a good time to respond to that. I have been wrongly accused of being a bigot, but so what. a person's personal preference in a friend, companion or really, a mate is their own business and that is truly the sacred ground unless you are some kind of a zealot.

But the reproachable comes in different forms. How did you treat this person and how did you treat that person ? If you have treatd all fairly, sleep well at the end of the day. Be happy.

But a personal preference is just that. I am a White Man, I want a White Woman, and not just any. I prefer those of certain ethic descent if possible. But this is to be some with whom I am to meld my life with, you call it bigotry all you want, but that desire must remain in my heart for this to work on a long term basis. I must want it, and while I CAN control my wants, no Man or Woman can control exacxtly what those wants are.

This is the same argument homosexuals use, and really they win with it. If they express it right, like "Well when I see Hunky walking down the street I get those bumps, but not when GT walks by". They have no fucking control over that.

And people are strange of course. They range from "NO FAT CHICKS" to "I LOVE FAT CHICKS". Some hate blondes, others are attracted. Some hate a muscular Woman, others swoon at the muscles.

If we can't separate these two issues no progress will be made.

No matter how OK it is to have a racial preference regarding race in a possible mate, it is still wrong to deride another for exp-ressing, upfront, a similar but different preference.

T

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RE: The insanity of race - 2/9/2010 11:50:43 AM   
popeye1250


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quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

I don't have a problem with people stating their racial preferences or age or any others they might have. But yea it is a bit odd that he then turned around and called someone racist because he wasn't someone they preferred.


Boi, that's true. Just because I like tiny, cute Chinese women doesn't mean they're going to like me does it? Some of them might, or a few might.
But, if a 6'1" tall white guy with a sharp wit isn't their preferance in men I wouldn't take it personally, that's just (their) preferance.
And, I'm one of those guys who think Redheads are the most beautiful women on the planet but I like blondes and brunettes and black hair too.
I also think a woman should take care of herself and be height/weight proportionate as I work my ass off at the gym to stay in shape.
But, I also like very petite women who are 5' tall and women up to 6'2" who are thin.
I think lots of guys have a "thing" for Asian women though. They're "exotic."
What do you think about the above? Do you like Redheads?

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