Set and Setting.

Set and Setting. (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress

Message

RadicallyAwesome -> Set and Setting. (2/8/2010 12:49:49 AM)
This seems like a good first post over here, because it's a question I always like to ask Mistresses, and because when nobody knows you yet it's best to start off with a question that is pretty clearly not thinly veiled wanking material. I'm wondering what kind of set and setting you guys most prefer in scenes. I know this varies widely from person to person, and that it also depends on the scene. But when You imagine a scene in Your mind what's the ambiance, the mood, the aesthetic vibe, like? Is it loud punk music, harsh lighting, a cold hard floor? Candlelight and velvet and New Age music? Something gothy? Something industrial? I know this is pretty abstract, but I think everyone has a general flavor about themselves and what kind of scenes they like. I always want to get to know what that is like. PS I know I sound like a huge babbling dork. That's because it's hard when you're new. It's also because I really am a huge babbling dork.

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Set and Setting. (2/8/2010 1:07:38 AM)
Hello and welcome! :-D I like bedrooms that are brightly lit (because I'm a bit malcoordinated and have a tendency to trip over in the gloom) and comfy (because big dungeons with cages and a distinct lack of fluffy cushions scare me a little bit). Beds with proper headboards are a distinct advantage, because then you don't have to mess around with under-the-bed restraints. No background music, because I like the option of giving the girl headphones, and music would get in the way of that. Plus, it might drown out interesting noises...

Domin8tingUrDrmz -> RE: Set and Setting. (2/8/2010 1:20:12 AM)
Interesting question. I'm afraid I have an uninteresting answer. Usually I prefer a scene to be in my home. Whether it is in my living room, my kitchen, or my bedroom doesn't much matter, so long as I am comfortable. My home is comfortable to me. Though, I also really enjoy nature and architecture and would thoroughly enjoy playing outdoors - again, just a matter of my comfort. While dungeons look kinda cool and have more equipment that I own, they tend to feel artificial and I'm not an artificial kinda gal. ETA: Welcome! Enjoy your stay. Huge babbling dorks are cool - so long as their babbling is coherent [;)]

RadicallyAwesome -> RE: Set and Setting. (2/8/2010 2:11:50 AM)
Ooh thanks for the quick replies. VC--That makes excellent sense. Particularly the very prudent bit about "not wanting to fall down." Domin8ting--I happen to agree very strongly with You about playing in a home. The atmosphere, for me, is always more "real" and more playful and even spontaneous feeling. Different homes, of course, have different feels, and those feels will naturally reflect the personalities of the people who live there.

Domin8tingUrDrmz -> RE: Set and Setting. (2/8/2010 2:24:11 AM)
I agree. Some homes, are so pristine in nature that it simply calls for "high protocol" service situations. Others are more relaxed and scream 'lets have fun'. [:D] My screen name is quite long, feel free to call me D8UD or Domin8ting as you already did. I'm tempted to change my s/n because I hate typing it out...lol.

LadyAngelika -> RE: Set and Setting. (2/8/2010 3:20:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RadicallyAwesome This seems like a good first post over here, because it's a question I always like to ask Mistresses, and because when nobody knows you yet it's best to start off with a question that is pretty clearly not thinly veiled wanking material. Welcome! And good call ;-) quote: I'm wondering what kind of set and setting you guys most prefer in scenes. Little hint, how about "you Ladies" rather than you guys... we aren't guys ;-) quote: I know this varies widely from person to person, and that it also depends on the scene. But when You imagine a scene in Your mind what's the ambiance, the mood, the aesthetic vibe, like? I tend to find artifice a little distracting and unecessary, then again, I don't really scene. I just prefer to have a kinky sex life. So some days the setting will be "the moment". Of course, there are special occaisions where you put a little extra thought into it. I tend to like a sensual and subtle setting. As for music, I find Downtempo (or Downbeat) or similar laid-back electronic music with a beat or groove works well in terms of music. It has enough energy to get a rythm but not so imposing that it's distracting and hinders communication. I also don't play it too loud as I like to hear every little sound my partner is making. As for ambiance, relatively soft lighting is good. Maybe a candle or two, especially paraphin wax candles which can be incorporated into play ;-) I tend to like warm feeling places. My home is warm feeling like that. As for dress, well he's naked quickly enough that it doesn't really matter what he was wearing at first, though a business suit or jeans are my favorite for starters. I'm a pearls, French lingerie and heels kinda woman. Then again, as much as this is the norm for me, I do have fantasies of keeping boys locked up in cold hard prison cells and dressing up as a stern interrogator. Sometimes I like the idea of going to play outside in the woods... So go figure ;-) - LA

LPslittleclip -> RE: Set and Setting. (2/8/2010 8:21:14 AM)
for dungeon play i find music with a strong beat and directional lights on the play spot. for private play quiet and low light to enjoy the full effect. my Mistress prefers me to be naked for play She enjoys leather and has several wonderful corsets.

LadyPact -> RE: Set and Setting. (2/8/2010 4:10:53 PM)
The above is very true. To add to it, I would also say it would depend on the type of scene, as well as what setting I'm in the mood for. I do tend to prefer low light, but I also want to see what I'm doing. If we're talking about pain, I want to ensure that there is enough light for Me to be accurate. (Bad things can happen in bad lighting, I promise you.) I tend to want more light for things like fire, electrical, and so on because I have to be much more aware of the environment. If I have to be aware of electrical cords on the floor or see the difference between the water and the alcohol, I want to be sure of what I'm looking at. Music, give Me a beat to swing by. LOL. I prefer mixes that start soft and become increasingly aggressive. Aromas are one area that I prefer none or very soft ones. Scented candles win over incense every time. You could probably put Me in the CFNM category. I am one of those folks who prefers leather.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Set and Setting. (2/8/2010 4:45:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RadicallyAwesome when nobody knows you yet it's best to start off with a question that is pretty clearly not thinly veiled wanking material. Wow...I like him. Can we keep him? To answer the question, my only preferences are for a quiet room with soft lighting. I don't like to have music playing because I get a lot of information through my ears. I want to be able to tell the difference between the gasp that says "ooh, I like that" and the one that says "ouch, that's a little too much." I can't do that if there's any sound besides the ones my partner and I are making. I'm also very sensitive to light on a normal day. When I hit "dom space" my sight does this weird thing where the person I'm playing with is in crystal clear focus and the edges of my vision are dark. Harsh light really bothers me when that happens, so I make sure to have nothing brighter than a small reading lamp going. I don't have any strong preferences for clothing as long as I'm wearing something comfortable. Unfortunately for those who get off on the idea of a woman clad head to toe in leather, comfortable for me is usually jeans and a t-shirt -- not exactly the domliest of garb.

RadicallyAwesome -> RE: Set and Setting. (2/9/2010 2:12:57 AM)
Thanks for all the replies. Certainly learned some interesting things and got to know a little about a few people. Still trying to feel my way around the site so it's certainly lovely to see the responses.

MzLillysRealm -> RE: Set and Setting. (2/10/2010 5:50:24 AM)
For me it would depend on the scope of the relationship and the submissive. Much like every Domme is unique, so is every sub, and style of course changed to adapt to that. I am actually fond of making the first play experience set in a neutral place like a hotel (yes it smacks of Pro-domme or hooker--believe me I am neither) but it facilitates play while still retaining the control of personal information. Preferable to that is in the home of the sub because, especially if he is new, this allows him to be in a space that he knows and feels safe in. Again, this allows for retention and controlling the flow of my personal information. I don't want someone I am testing out a play experience with to have my home address right away. To me, this is unacceptable until I have established that we have great chemistry and a good connection within the D/s interaction. After that is in place then anywhere is fine...though my house usually is where all the good toys are. I think loud music can add an element of sensory deprivation for scenes that would be enhanced by it--this can literally be a myriad of things. However, for most of the time I prefer no music or soft music because I want to make sure all my whispered commands are heard and I don't want to miss any of the begging, pleading, groaning, squealing, etc. Good lighting is important so that you can always see the tone of the skin, miss tripping over anything, and read facial expressions and body language. As for clothing, it should not matter what you are wearing. Dominance, like submission, comes from the heart, soul and mind. However, who doesn't like to look tasty from time to time and see the subs jaw drop and mouth drool? I find that dressing in fetish clothing also adds to the visual, and we all know how visual men are, and can provide extra motivation when pushing the fringes of limits. That's just my two cents. Lilly

SweetDommes -> RE: Set and Setting. (2/10/2010 9:19:53 AM)
We generally don't use music, although we have had movies playing in the background before. Must have light - too many facial expressions get missed in dim light (plus I'm also a klutz and will trip over a dark shadow). Most of our stuff is home made and small - easily stored, easily used ... and we usually play in the bedroom simply because the critters are in the rest of the house. We don't do public play at all, so there is no "dungeon" play for us. We don't do much with the clothes during actual play, but I am not against it ... just don't do it much.

Page: [1]

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125