A question about profile pics

A question about profile pics (Full Version)

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cathibibbw -> A question about profile pics (2/8/2010 8:10:20 AM)
I hope I am posting this in the right section. I was being harassed recently by someone that did not like that I just "put it all out there" on my profile pics. I pretty much replied well if you did not like that I was a bigger girl why did you flip through all my photos as my "main" pic is just me in a thong it's pretty tame. Now I know some people get offended by nude pics and I can respect that but most folks would simply not delve any deeper into someones profile and move on. This person was persistent and had a bone to pic with me to the point that they had decided to "report" a photo I had up (not my main pic mind you). The pic was me with my legs spread laying on my back showing everything from the neck down. I do not post my face on here. So I got a mail from support saying they had taken my pic down as it violated community standards. I have seen MANY similar pics and do not understand why I was singled out other than this one person and them having a personal vendetta against me. I have NO issue with CM deciding to remove my photo other than the fact that I would like more consistency if they are going to take down my photo then remove everyone's pics that poses in a similar fashion. The pic had been up for quite some time with no issues until this person decided to take issue with me. I got an email and a message on here from support saying they had to remove it due to it not following "community guidelines". Well I read the terms of service and tried to find what the EXACT guidelines are in regards to what photos are considered "inappropriate" the problem is other than the obvious illegal pic,s I found nothing on this site any place that said posing on your back nude with your legs spread is not welcome on this site. I do not want to lose my account by posting something "inappropriate" in the future. If someone could direct me to where I can find info on what exactly is permissible I would really appreciate it. I want to reiterate that I have NO problem at all with the photo being removed, but I would love to actually see the "community guidelines" that I violated so I do not have any issues with any profile pics I post in the future. I just feel like if this one person had not decided to harass me about my pic that it would still be up. I would also hope that there would be a bit more consistency regarding others that post similar pics/poses and that I was not being singled out due to my size. I have no problem following the rules. I just want to know what the rules are. I hope that I would be held to the same standards as others regardless of my size. I would really appreciate anyone that could send me a link to the community standards on this site so there is no confusion about what I can and cannot post in the future. Thanks a bunch I do love this site, cat PS: I could not find a forum section for these types of questions so I hope this is an OK place to post these types of inquiries. If there was a reply option to the messages I received from support I would have just asked there directly.

RedMagic1 -> RE: A question about profile pics (2/8/2010 8:13:47 AM)
You can write Support by clicking the tab marked "Support" at the bottom of the screen, when you have the profiles side of CollarMe open. Ultimately, they are the only ones who can really answer your question.

AquaticSub -> RE: A question about profile pics (2/8/2010 8:21:30 AM)
~Fast Reply~ If the picture violated community standards, you were not singled out. However, you were the one reported and it was brought to their attention whereas the others were not. The mods do not go through every single picture on every profile anymore. When you uploaded a picture, it used to have to wait for mod approval and people bitched about that too. Plus since there are different mods, then as now, you get slight different standards. Block the person who is haressing you and stop responding to them. Then take the issue up with the mods. The problem may not have been the pose but something else in the picture. Or it's entirely possible that the pose was the problem and no one has reported the others you've seen yet.

redwoodgirl -> RE: A question about profile pics (2/8/2010 8:25:24 AM)
Personaly, when Im trying to get to know someone, Id prefer to look at thir face rather than their snatch But to each their own right? [:D]

Aileen1968 -> RE: A question about profile pics (2/8/2010 8:30:01 AM)
This reminds me...time for a bikini wax.

cathibibbw -> RE: A question about profile pics (2/8/2010 8:48:25 AM)
Oh I had blocked them right when the conversation got ugly. I realize there was something wrong with the photo or else it would have not been deleted. I just wish there was some place on this site with a list of these "community standards" so in the future I would not be in violation in the first place as it is now it seems that it is entirely a subjective thing and that can surely result in double standards as what one person takes issues with others may see as perfectly fine. But It's not my site and hey it's free so I do not have any room to complain I suppose. I just wish I could know what is and isn't permissible to avoid this in the future.

xxblushesxx -> RE: A question about profile pics (2/8/2010 10:22:04 AM)
Why do you want to show yourself in that way? I'm just curious as I've never wanted that to be how someone sees me. Yeah, ok, that's kind of judgmental sounding, but I can't think of a way to ask that's not, and I'm really curious.

Aynne88 -> RE: A question about profile pics (2/8/2010 10:27:34 AM)
I am curious about that too, I mean really what kind of man/woman are you hoping to attract with gash shots? No offense, but some of these pics are to me tasteless and vulgar, yet some of these same posters complain when they get less than complimentary responses. Like attracts like...just commenting. Yes I know, it's a BDSM site, blah blah blah....

CalifChick -> RE: A question about profile pics (2/8/2010 10:31:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cathibibbw I just feel like if this one person had not decided to harass me about my pic that it would still be up. I would also hope that there would be a bit more consistency regarding others that post similar pics/poses and that I was not being singled out due to my size. I have no problem following the rules. I just want to know what the rules are. I hope that I would be held to the same standards as others regardless of my size. Are you seriously accusing the people that handle the picture reports of being biased or prejudiced? That different rules apply to thin people, attractive people, tall people, whatever people? Cali

cathibibbw -> RE: A question about profile pics (2/8/2010 10:35:58 AM)
Got this from support, which I finally figured out how to contact after some help from folks in this post. I know I am not the only one in this situation so I will share the policy so others can take note. In a nutshell there is no specific "community guideline" its purely hit and miss as we all know there are some very hardcore explicit pics on here. Mine was just me showing my body from the neck down. If the rude individual had not reported me there is no doubt that the pic would have not been removed. I will share the reply now for the sake of others that have been or will be in my shoes. "" Thank you for contacting Collarme Support. We understand that you may have some concerns about our community standards. It's important to understand that our review process is not a simple matter of comparing each photograph against a "list of standards" but requires our review team to make complex judgment calls regarding numerous legal and aesthetic factors. Fundamentally, Collarme is here to help members of the BDSM Community to meet and interact in a friendly and safe online environment. Within this framework, the photograph feature in our profiles is intended to allow other users to get to know you better, not to provide an exposition of body parts, BDSM activities, or sexual activities. Barring formatting issues, normal "every day" photos will rarely, if ever, be rejected by our review team. It is certainly true that our standards are more restrictive than those of many other sites on the web and if you are not comfortable with our editorial policy then we would encourage you to consider posting the relevant content on one of these many websites. Thank you again for contacting Collarme Support. With regard, The Collarme Support Team "" That's the final word/policy I and will try to abide by it as best I can. To those who ask why I choose to show what I show. I guess I am not shy about nudity. Seeing as the reason I am here is for things of a sexual nature I don't have a problem showing my body. There is definitely an erotic thrill for me in it. I have been to many swinger clubs and play parties and am not shy about being nude in those situations either. I guess the communities I have been involved with in the past have helped me overcome my shyness and allowed me to feel that nudity is something that is natural and beautiful. I just wish people would learn to live and let live (especially in the US). I still do not understand why someone would browse deeper into someones profile if they found the person unattractive in the first place sigh...

AquaticSub -> RE: A question about profile pics (2/8/2010 10:44:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cathibibbw To those who ask why I choose to show what I show. I guess I am not shy about nudity.Seeing as the reason I am here is for things of a sexual nature I don't have a problem showing my body. There is definitely an erotic thrill for me in it. I have been to many swinger clubs and play parties and am not shy about being nude in those situations either. I guess the communities I have been involved with in the past have helped me overcome my shyness and allowed me to feel that nudity is something (especially in the US) that is natural and beautiful. No offense intended but... I don't think being shy about nudity is part of the question. I'm definately NOT body shy. On mutiple occasions people have come up to me and gone "Excuse me but I think I know you... oh, right we met at that party! It's just that you have your clothes on now!" [:D] However, there is a huge difference between being naked at the drop of a hat at a party and thriving on it... and sticking pictures of my vulva on the Internet where my Dad, friend's little brother and every ex boyfriend or old lover could find them. For me, not putting them up there isn't about being body shy in the slightest. I'm quite the little nudist. I simply have a policy of if I am providing porn on the 'net, where those pictures could quite well come back to haunt me when I'm 90, I get paid.

Jeffff -> RE: A question about profile pics (2/8/2010 10:48:14 AM)
They made me take My cock shots down..... Something about others feeling inadequate? Oh well, I am nothing if not a team player! Jeff

cathibibbw -> RE: A question about profile pics (2/8/2010 11:00:33 AM)
I really just wanted confirmation on the official policy which I have now. I realize my feelings about what I show are not shared by everyone. I do not show my face. I do not feel like getting into a debate about this anymore than what I have already stated. I do have the suspicion that had I been a smaller sized gal and the original person had found me attractive none of this would have taken place. I am not trying to play the victim but I did feel singled out. I could point out that at least 1 out of every 10 pics on this site are not up to the "community guidelines" showing bondage, close ups of various body parts, sexual acts etc.. There is a bias that's what bothers me. My post was not about what I choose to show but about double standards. I have the official reply now and I have to decide for myself what to do. Sorry if I do not discuss this further but my question has been answered so that's that.

AquaticSub -> RE: A question about profile pics (2/8/2010 11:12:54 AM)
There isn't a double standerd in the site moderation. I say that confidently as a woman who was on here for years as a BBW before losing weight. This happened because you had a picture up that violated the standards. The reason behind why someone decided to go ahead and report you really doesn't matter, however asshat the reason is. I've seen plenty of thin women have their pictures yanked as well.

xxblushesxx -> RE: A question about profile pics (2/8/2010 2:10:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cathibibbw I really just wanted confirmation on the official policy which I have now. I realize my feelings about what I show are not shared by everyone. I do not show my face. I do not feel like getting into a debate about this anymore than what I have already stated. I do have the suspicion that had I been a smaller sized gal and the original person had found me attractive none of this would have taken place. I am not trying to play the victim but I did feel singled out. I could point out that at least 1 out of every 10 pics on this site are not up to the "community guidelines" showing bondage, close ups of various body parts, sexual acts etc.. There is a bias that's what bothers me. My post was not about what I choose to show but about double standards. I have the official reply now and I have to decide for myself what to do. Sorry if I do not discuss this further but my question has been answered so that's that. First, let me say I appreciate your answer. It's what I kind of thought it would be, and it works for you and that's awesome! Second as to double standards, I disagree. I see ALL KINDS of nasty stuff on the other side. Makes me wish for eye bleach! lol

pahunkboy -> RE: A question about profile pics (2/8/2010 2:15:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff They made me take My cock shots down..... Something about others feeling inadequate? Oh well, I am nothing if not a team player! Jeff LOL

pahunkboy -> RE: A question about profile pics (2/8/2010 2:19:57 PM)
I tend to doubt you were singled out. I have had pics rejected- and a few others here. I been around here for a few years- and tend to doubt there was any discrimination based on weight. There are plenty of "not slim" men and woman here. browse for yourself....

DomImus -> RE: A question about profile pics (2/8/2010 4:30:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cathibibbw I just feel like if this one person had not decided to harass me about my pic that it would still be up. They probably played a role in alerting support to the picture but they are not responsible for the content of said picture. This issue is between you and support.

playfulotter -> RE: A question about profile pics (2/8/2010 4:53:34 PM)
I am not sure what your first photo showed before exactly but I think they would allow it if it was not the main photo on your profile...that is how I read the rules. I would think you would want to put the juicy photos in the middle of the ones you have so they have to look at the other ones too..but that is just me.....

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