RE: you meet a man you like as a dominant

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MasterSlaveLA -> RE: you meet a man you like as a dominant (2/9/2010 7:11:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: osf but he is into some things you're not a) do you pass him by b) suck it up an be his slave c) Pee on his shoe (and duck)... 'cause that's how I roll, bay-beeeeeee!!! [;)]

catize -> RE: you meet a man you like as a dominant (2/9/2010 9:48:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: osf but he is into some things you're not a do you pass him by b suck it up an be his slave Those are very limited choices. The way I see it, there are gazillions of 'things' that can be done together. If we can both find happiness with only half of those things, that would still take a life time to explore them together.

ranja -> RE: you meet a man you like as a dominant (2/10/2010 2:00:42 AM)
I did meet a Dominant man and of course he was into some things i am not... jeez... are there still people who believe in Mr Perfect? He does NOT exist... maybe they start off looking rather perfect, but sooner or later you will see their true colours and there sure will be aspects of them you will NOT like... hate even. of course you do not have to suck too much up if you go about it craftily... manipulation to change things or to get out of things... people can broker deals and compromise any successful relationship is a bunch of compromises and deals... a bit of give and take on both sides how much give and take people are prepared to do just depends on how much they want to be together. This is why people generally will not ask a potential partner on their first date if they will eat shit... better wait with these requests until a bit of a bond has been established...

eyesopened -> RE: you meet a man you like as a dominant (2/10/2010 5:08:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: osf but he is into some things you're not a do you pass him by b suck it up an be his slave I've met many men I like as a Dominant and that does not require becoming his *slave. Or passing him by. I have been submissive to Dominants who are into some things that I am not and there was no expectation of me being his slave or even participating in the things he was into that I am not into. There are lots of Dominants I have met and admire and are even into the same things but there still isn't enough to want to be their slave*. Human relationships are rarely an all or nothing situation.

DesFIP -> RE: you meet a man you like as a dominant (2/10/2010 5:29:41 AM)
I've met lots of men I have liked, doesn't mean I am compatible with them. If there isn't a high enough level of compatibility, it won't work for me. Lust isn't enough. I need the whole package.

wisdomtogive -> RE: you meet a man you like as a dominant (2/10/2010 5:36:33 AM)
I don't know how to answer your question. It is so black and white and in my life not reality. I love to please those that I have been with and Sir. I been fortunate to not meet anyone that I cared a lot about who sees life in black or white. People compromise or help the submissive to adapt, not to throw commands without greys...well at least those I have been with. The best I could answer your question is yes, but I also know I never pick a dom who can't rule his world with greys and a lot of compassion for those he rules over. He would be a leader not a control freak, which to me is a major difference.

KatyLied -> RE: you meet a man you like as a dominant (2/10/2010 5:36:48 AM)
I am not a slave so I do not have to suck it up. If we are apart on the important things that I consider compatibility markers I will pass him by. I do not want to engage in square peg-round hole power struggles. Some things can be negotiated (of course), but I will not refuse who I am in order to have a relationship.

Mercnbeth -> RE: you meet a man you like as a dominant (2/10/2010 6:42:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: osf but he is into some things you're not a do you pass him by b suck it up an be his slave it would depend on how well this slave could adapt to/accept the "things" he is into...if she couldn't adapt/accept to his standards, she wouldn't expect that he would want her as his slave and HE would be the one doing the passing by.

NuevaVida -> RE: you meet a man you like as a dominant (2/10/2010 6:50:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: osf but he is into some things you're not a do you pass him by b suck it up an be his slave The Man & I didn't talk about the things we were into until a relationship had already started forming. I told him there were some things I'd rather never do again in my life. Had he insisted they were something he wouldn't live without, I would have moved on. I had no intention of being his slave at the time, nor did I have any intention of compromising myself again, so I wouldn't have felt anything was lost. Now that we're well into this relationship together, if he were to say he wanted "that thing", I'd do it. I wouldn't like it, but I'd do it. The relationship had to develop into what it is, first.

petmonkey -> RE: you meet a man you like as a dominant (2/10/2010 6:51:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Elisabella quote: ORIGINAL: osf but he is into some things you're not a do you pass him by b suck it up an be his slave c. become his submissive girlfriend d. try to do some of those things if they're not too awful (because I love him not because I'm property) e. make it clear that if that's not enough he is free to do those specific things I won't do with someone else f. marry him and live happily ever after. Oh is this choice? I thought it was a list. my most recent answer to this was: C, D, and E. Next question, please.

osf -> RE: you meet a man you like as a dominant (2/10/2010 7:04:20 AM)
lets say what he want wont injure you, make you sick, get you arrested or make it difficult for you to function publicly or at or with career , family and friends it's just some perversion you'd rather not or something more painful than you'd like

juliaoceania -> RE: you meet a man you like as a dominant (2/10/2010 8:12:31 AM)
quote: it's just some perversion you'd rather not or something more painful than you'd like Why would I want to be with someone who inflicted more pain than I like? I like compatible relationships where there isn't this fuss where he gets off on making me do things I really would rather not...I know what he likes, and it works for me, and there is nothing he would push on me that I did not want to do. He is in control because I do not like being in control. It is not necessarily that I need him to be, and it is not necessarily that he needs to be... it just works for us that he is. Now I know some people get off on different things than I do, like being forced out of some sense of devotion to doing things they would rather not, but some of us do not welcome that sort of drama into our lives either...

Aileen1968 -> RE: you meet a man you like as a dominant (2/10/2010 8:17:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: osf it's just some perversion you'd rather not or something more painful than you'd like He's not about to cut off my arm or anything like that. So yeah, I'd do whatever he wanted and would survive it. I don't have an abusive past so I'm not worried at all about any kind of repercussions along those lines. What's the worst that could happen? I cry or get grossed out? He knows the one and only thing between us that would make me walk and make him walk too. That is not an option for either of us. Everything else is fair game.

KatyLied -> RE: you meet a man you like as a dominant (2/10/2010 8:18:20 AM)
The older I get, and the more men I talk to, the less willing I am to compromise on the things that are important to me. I would rather wait for a compatible partner than try to make something work with someone who is less enthusiastic about understanding who I am. I enjoy surrender, but not constantly and not for things that I really do not care to do, there is little satisfaction for me there and it builds resentment. I don't need it, I have enough other stuff going on in my life.

domiguy -> RE: you meet a man you like as a dominant (2/10/2010 8:21:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: osf quote: ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally quote: ORIGINAL: osf i know i have dark things not many would like, but thats not part of the discussion , kinda is, flip it around are there things that you are into that you can understand would put someone off, and if so what? if it puts them off that much , i don't bother and you can get an idea before you go into much detail So that is pretty much the end of the conversation isn't it? You answered your own question...Ta-dah!!!!

juliaoceania -> RE: you meet a man you like as a dominant (2/10/2010 8:38:15 AM)
quote: I enjoy surrender, but not constantly and not for things that I really do not care to do, there is little satisfaction for me there and it builds resentment. I don't need it, I have enough other stuff going on in my life. Exactly! I get the sense (perhaps incorrectly) that part of osf's thrill is getting women who do not like X or Y or Z to do those activities.. it is about making someone do something they don't want to, and that right there wouldn't work for me... because it would mean a life of doing shit I don't wanna... now there are some women out there that get off on what he likes too, you know, there is someone for everyone, ying and yang... yadda yadda yadda... Just wouldn't work for me....

AquaticSub -> RE: you meet a man you like as a dominant (2/10/2010 8:43:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: osf lets say what he want wont injure you, make you sick, get you arrested or make it difficult for you to function publicly or at or with career , family and friends it's just some perversion you'd rather not or something more painful than you'd like Again, not enough info. Needles are one thing. Activities that would violate the ToS on this website are another. It would depend on exactly what the activity was, if it violated my code of morality and, provided it didn't, on how well we clicked.

Mercnbeth -> RE: you meet a man you like as a dominant (2/10/2010 8:43:32 AM)
quote: ...it's just some perversion you'd rather not or something more painful than you'd like... this slave signed up to submit to His sadistic desires...not limit Him. she has no interest in being the shot-caller...if she did, she would identify with the other side of the slash.

agirl -> RE: you meet a man you like as a dominant (2/10/2010 9:40:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: osf lets say what he want wont injure you, make you sick, get you arrested or make it difficult for you to function publicly or at or with career , family and friends it's just some perversion you'd rather not or something more painful than you'd like That covers quite a lot..lol There are tons of activities I'd rather not do with some random guy that I just like. Not only would I rather not .....I just wouldn't. Taking part in filthy, perverted things isn't the thing itself at all...... it's the who. I don't have any objections to much at all........ but you quite possibly might not be the one I'd be that way with. agirl

littlewonder -> RE: you meet a man you like as a dominant (2/10/2010 10:48:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: osf lets say what he want wont injure you, make you sick, get you arrested or make it difficult for you to function publicly or at or with career , family and friends it's just some perversion you'd rather not or something more painful than you'd like It would still depend...same as my first response...depends on the kink, how much he's into it, if it's a limit of mine.

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