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ideas for punishment of an online submissive - 3/27/2006 2:56:00 AM

CanadianGuy

Posts: 219
Status: offline

This question is for dominants or submissives - please give your reply from your own prespective and experiences.

What are some ideas for punishments that you can accomplish with a submissive you are hundreds of miles away from? I'm looking for things I can do via email, IM, or phone. I'd like ideas for punishments ranging from mild to heavy.

Things I already use:
- time apart (this can work, but sometimes comes off as "I don't know how to deal with you, so I'll just ignore you for a while".... also, sometimes the punishment is because she did something naughty online, and leaving her without any supervision or control for a couple weeks might start even more problems)
- roleplaying punishment (can sometimes work, but sometimes she just enjoys it instead, which isn't the intent... bad little masochistic slut! :p)
- assignments like writing a long letter to me about what she did wrong and how she'll work on it in the future (this works well for her so far)
- expressing my dissatisfaction (this works because she is very eager to please me... unfortunately sometimes her guilty feelings lead her to become self-hating and depressed, which I want to avoid)

Things I don't want to use:
- verbal abuse (don't suggest this one, because I don't believe name-calling or degrading her will help)
- empty promises like "when I get my hands on you, you're going to pay for what you just did" (I want the punishment to have immediate and effective results)
- lying
- telling her I don't want her, don't love her, that she doesn't deserve to be owned (this is abusive, and also not accurate)

I care about my submissive a great deal, and I know she needs punishment, both when she pushes too hard in her quest for my control, or when she does something very wrong without actually thinking about it. I'm looking for more ideas from others so I can be even more effective. Thanks in advance for any reply.

Post #: 1

RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive - 3/27/2006 3:16:48 AM

SoulfulSadism

Posts: 53
Joined: 9/3/2005
Status: offline

Sounds like a need for genuine punishment as opposed to play-punishment.

And idea from the book 'Little Men' I had read ... about 24 years back: The teacher told the lil kids in the orphanage that since he hated punishing them, if they made mistakes, he would punish himself. 'Homework not attempted at all' rated the teacher using a ruler on his palm 10 times.

If you do use it, be careful - the line between traumatizing and giving the feeling of guilt is thin. Specially with an emotional partner like yours.. Good luck in your love

(in reply to CanadianGuy)

Post #: 2

RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive - 3/27/2006 3:24:23 AM

wouldlike2

Posts: 89
Joined: 9/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

- telling her I don't want her, don't love her, that she doesn't deserve to be owned (this is abusive, and also not accurate)

just wanna let You know that i do honor that and give You a compliment about Your statement and the thuoght is involved in there..

a lot of would give a s**** about and may even not think about.... but like You told there is a thin line between use and abused...

all the best to both of Y/you!

_____________________________

Love arises from the mind while the body follows and reflect the soul

(in reply to CanadianGuy)

Post #: 3

RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive - 3/27/2006 3:24:37 AM

CanadianGuy

Posts: 219
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SoulfulSadism
Sounds like a need for genuine punishment as opposed to play-punishment.

I agree. But she's my online submissive - we live more than 1000 miles away from each other. I'm asking for ideas for punishment that can be doled out without physical contact (although I would love to have access to that, and I know she would too).

quote:

ORIGINAL: SoulfulSadism
If you do use it, be careful - the line between traumatizing and giving the feeling of guilt is thin.

Being careful is good advice. Actually, though, I don't want to traumatize her OR make her feel guilty. Correcting her behaviour would be the reason for punishment.

quote:

ORIGINAL: wouldlike2
just wanna let You know that i do honor that and give You a compliment about Your statement and the thuoght is involved in there..

Thank you very much, wouldlike2. I appreciate your thought!

< Message edited by CanadianGuy -- 3/27/2006 3:27:51 AM >

(in reply to SoulfulSadism)

Post #: 4

RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive - 3/27/2006 3:35:06 AM

doves

Posts: 120
Joined: 6/10/2005
Status: offline

try giving her food for thought -

as in making her think and realise that what she has done was wrong, and why.

Possibly an essay describing her actions or words, then explaining why she did it/or said it.. then how she could have said or done it better, and what, if anything, she has learnt from said mistake.

Whatever the punishment, she has to keep "You" in mind. Being apart from ones Owner, her mind may wander.

_____________________________

ShibariJon's dove

(in reply to CanadianGuy)

Post #: 5

RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive - 3/27/2006 3:47:51 AM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

Master and I spent 11 months chatting online before we were together rt.
The only time I can remember him punishing me online was when I was in this chat room and just kept disrespecting their rules over and over again. I used to have fun in the chatroom, so his punishment was that I couldnt enter it for a week, which in fact turned into 4 days.

It might sound like a kinda silly scenario..but the fact was, I didnt comprehend that chat rooms had their protocals and rules, I couldnt relate to them as real, I kinda had this separation thing going on in my mind, I didnt think the way I behaved in a chat room had any link to being a reflection on Master, myself or the relationship we were developing, what I said to him privately and how I acted in chatrooms was just totally different, cuz I just saw them as a game, kinda like playing a computer game. Talking to Master privately was real, interacting in chat rooms was like a video game to me. I had lived in a Master/slave relationship rt and seeing it all being typed out on a computer screen was just weird to me if that makes any sense.

So anyways, I spent 4 days not allowed to join that chat room and it got me to thinking..."hrmmm this doesnt seem to be a game anymore" "Im actually not being allowed to do something I enjoy because of my actions" "What I do and say on chat rooms is being a reflection on Master and me and our relationship".....once I came to that realisation Master let me join it again.

He is still like that in RT..... i would call what he does a learning lesson rather than a punishment..so find the learning lesson that will address directly whats going on with your slave and deal that to her.

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to CanadianGuy)

Post #: 6

RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive - 3/27/2006 3:52:10 AM

doves

Posts: 120
Joined: 6/10/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali
i would call what he does a learning lesson rather than a punishment..so find the learning lesson that will address directly whats going on with your slave and deal that to her.

i agree with what slavejali says here.... and as i previously said.. make her "think" about her actions...

"every action has a reaction"

_____________________________

ShibariJon's dove

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 7

RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive - 3/27/2006 5:32:18 AM

cillydom

Posts: 332
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

I agree, punishment should be an appropriate response to correct behavior not an end unto itself and certainly not a plaything

as you don’t punish children for fun and games the same should be for submissives

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 8

RE: ideas for punishment of an on line submissive - 3/27/2006 6:50:59 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

I think she is looking for more attention, and it is understandable as that she must ache so deeply for you, however you want to get through to her.

The thing I would do, is withdrawn my dominance. If she is collared she can either be told to take off the collar or if this would be too destabilizing for her you might not allow her any caps or honorifics, in fact you might make her call you pumpkin or sweetheart. Tell her you no longer control her orgasms if you both practice this, tell her cum as much as she wants, trust me this is a punishment, and it has an effect.

Even an hour of with drawn dominance has lasting effects on a sub, and when the time you have designated is up, I would have her beg to be in my service again, listing reasons why she should be considered, and what she plans to differently this time.

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to cillydom)

Post #: 9

RE: ideas for punishment of an on line submissive - 3/27/2006 7:33:59 AM

FootQueen

Posts: 241
Joined: 12/13/2004
Status: offline

< Message edited by FootQueen -- 3/27/2006 7:36:56 AM >

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 10

RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive - 3/27/2006 7:37:24 AM

FootQueen

Posts: 241
Joined: 12/13/2004
Status: offline

Hello CanadianGuy, you pose a good question and I see not many even attempt to answer or give suggestions. As a community we should be trying to help one another. Share knowledge, what works, what's good. They talk about any other kind of nonsense on here. But it is something that really needs to be addressed because I think at some time we have all had an online D/s relationship. It can be very taxing on how to discipline/punish them. I too would love more constructive criticism on this subject matter. I like you don't use verbal abuse but for a different reason-what if the sub/slave likes humilation (and mines does) then it defeats the purpose.

_____________________________

Don`t engage in a relationship if there is no trust, for without trust there really is no relationship!

(in reply to CanadianGuy)

Post #: 11

RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive - 3/27/2006 8:41:33 AM

LoupdeMontagne

Posts: 49
Joined: 10/23/2005
Status: offline

Canadianguy,

Are you looking for punishment or correction?

Hephaestus
Chambre du Loup de Montagne

(in reply to FootQueen)

Post #: 12

RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive - 3/27/2006 11:27:04 AM

CanadianGuy

Posts: 219
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: doves
Whatever the punishment, she has to keep "You" in mind. Being apart from ones Owner, her mind may wander.

Sounds like you agree that ignoring her (cutting off contact for a while) isn't the best punishment for her. Thanks for your comment.

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali
Master and I spent 11 months chatting online before we were together rt.

My submissive and I were together for three full years online before we met, last summer. We do plan to be together again, and in the future consider making it permanent. She is still young, however, but that's another matter.

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali
find the learning lesson that will address directly whats going on with your slave and deal that to her.

Simple, but good advice. Essentially, find out what works. This discussion, hopefully, will provide some ideas.

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

I think she is looking for more attention, and it is understandable as that she must ache so deeply for you, however you want to get through to her.

The thing I would do, is withdrawn my dominance. If she is collared she can either be told to take off the collar or if this would be too destabilizing for her you might not allow her any caps or honorifics, in fact you might make her call you pumpkin or sweetheart. Tell her you no longer control her orgasms if you both practice this, tell her cum as much as she wants, trust me this is a punishment, and it has an effect.

Even an hour of with drawn dominance has lasting effects on a sub, and when the time you have designated is up, I would have her beg to be in my service again, listing reasons why she should be considered, and what she plans to differently this time.

Wow, that is excellent. It sounds like you actually really thought about what I asked, and your answer shows that. Thank you.
Indeed, she does ache, and I agree that she's looking for more attention and possibly more control. Providing that online can be tricky, of course. Withdrawing dominance is an excellent idea. In fact, in the past, I have mentioned something of the sort and she seemed quite upset by the idea. I'm glad you've reminded me of this. I'm going to try it. She does wear a necklace I bought her with my symbol on it, and she considers that a reminder that she is owned, so in a way it's much like a collar. I've told her to remove it before and she begged to be allowed to keep it on. She said that if it comes off, she'll feel like our connection is gone. I think that was mostly her fear of being without my control and ownership, though. She knows in her heart that it's only a symbol. Perhaps I'll consider having her remove it for a short period as a punishment. Excellent suggestion. Calling me pumpkin? Wow, that's a good one! I'm not sure how that'd make ME feel, probably a bit silly, but I think it would be worth it to watch her squirm. Orgasm control - definitely. She sometimes slips up and gets off without being told she can, and feels guilty about that, but I know it's because she loves the control behind the idea of only cumming when she's allowed. Telling her to cum whenever she wants for a few days would probably be a good punishment. I may try that.

How long do you think is suitable for a moderate punishment? For example, if she forgets we planned to talk (falls asleep, or is lazy)? If we're both online, and talking, an hour would be enough for withdrawn dominance? If we'll be apart for the better part of a day, would a full day be alright? I ask this because I think when we're together she'll definitely "feel" the withdrawn dominance effects much more strongly.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FootQueen
I see not many even attempt to answer or give suggestions.

That's true, and unfortunate, but normal for online forums. Sometimes people just post to hear their own voice. *shrug*

quote:

ORIGINAL: FootQueen
I like you don't use verbal abuse but for a different reason-what if the sub/slave likes humilation (and mines does) then it defeats the purpose.

Mine does too - good point!

quote:

ORIGINAL: LoupdeMontagne
Are you looking for punishment or correction?

As "correction" is a euphemism for punishment, I'm not sure what you're asking. I believe I'm looking for ideas for "punishments" to "correct" her disobedient behaviours, but I suppose that depends on your definitions of the words.

(in reply to LoupdeMontagne)

Post #: 13

RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive - 3/27/2006 12:09:20 PM

NotN2U

Posts: 13
Joined: 8/19/2005
Status: offline

online punishment? lmao! How about type really hard while "cyber spanking" her. Oh, Oh! Maybe have her spank her mouse! Perhaps order her to some task which she will say she completed but never actually did and you will never know because you are 1,000 miles away...

(in reply to CanadianGuy)

Post #: 14

RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive - 3/27/2006 12:32:06 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NotN2U

online punishment? lmao! How about type really hard while "cyber spanking" her. Oh, Oh! Maybe have her spank her mouse! Perhaps order her to some task which she will say she completed but never actually did and you will never know because you are 1,000 miles away...

Chill.

I'm not into the online thing either, but heck, if it works for he and his, who are we to get on his case about it?

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to NotN2U)

Post #: 15

RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive - 3/27/2006 12:49:00 PM

LoupdeMontagne

Posts: 49
Joined: 10/23/2005
Status: offline

quote:

As "correction" is a euphemism for punishment, I'm not sure what you're asking. I believe I'm looking for ideas for "punishments" to "correct" her disobedient behaviours, but I suppose that depends on your definitions of the words.

The reason I asked is that "punishment" by and of itself is a synonym for retribution and has no lesson component. It's like revenge, it doesn't really teach anything.

What you are asking about are corrective measures, lessons designed to teach your sub that specific behaviors are not to be tolerated and are to be changed.

Don't mind me, I like to be precise in language to avoid any misunderstandings.

Hephaestus
Chambre du Loup de Montagne

(in reply to CanadianGuy)

Post #: 16

RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive - 3/27/2006 12:49:27 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NotN2U

online punishment? lmao! How about type really hard while "cyber spanking" her. Oh, Oh! Maybe have her spank her mouse! Perhaps order her to some task which she will say she completed but never actually did and you will never know because you are 1,000 miles away...

Isn't that funny. Apparently you have never had a working long distance relationship and therefore feel the need to mock others. Nicely done. People can make anything work for them if they try hard enough. Who are we, in our unexpanded minds, to determine what is real and what is not? And if we disagree with the reality of what another is doing, why not practice a modicum of class and bite our tongues? Otherwise, our reflection in the mirror only shows us our unpleasantness.

(in reply to NotN2U)

Post #: 17

RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive - 3/27/2006 12:53:37 PM

amaidiamond

Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline

"online punishment? lmao! How about type really hard while "cyber spanking" her. Oh, Oh! Maybe have her spank her mouse! Perhaps order her to some task which she will say she completed but never actually did and you will never know because you are 1,000 miles away... "

Just because it isnt the way you do it does not make it wrong, I am real time and have been for several years however just because online does not work for me does not give me the right to slam it or ridicule what seems to be a genuine, honest and open question.
Real thoughts and emotions can exist in online relationships, it is not all *role play* or *cyber*, possibly that is the way it is for yourself but not for an awful lot of pople out there who do have online relationships for whatever reason, we can't always meet the person we fall for two mins around the corner and when i was with a Dom who was in America, being apart from him was dreadfully hard though forced due to visa issues, and yes we had met in real life as have this couple, I always thought one of the most attractive things about D/s was that it was open, and in the main none judgmental, I find your frankly insulting and immature response to an honest question dissapointing.
Your way is not the only way.

I have edited this to include the text on your own profile:

" Not here to impress anyone,compramising to fit in with other folks aint my bag. i might not do everything you do, exactly the way you do it, but that don't make neither one of us wrong."

Maybe you should pay heed to your own words?

< Message edited by amaidiamond -- 3/27/2006 12:59:36 PM >

(in reply to NotN2U)

Post #: 18

RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive - 3/27/2006 2:57:24 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

When i had an online dom for 2 yrs, some of the things he did for punishment were:
-no orgasms for a given length of time
-making me take myself to the edge several times but not allowed to orgasm--sometimes this would be on cam
-wear my butt plug daily for a given time period and given number of days (i liked this one but didn't tell him that)
-with my cam left on--stand or kneel in the corner, nose to the wall
-wear my vib while shopping (i also liked this one)

Here is an excellent older thread on this topic
http://www.collarchat.com/m_33550/mpage_1/key_online/tm.htm#33550

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to CanadianGuy)

Post #: 19

RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive - 3/27/2006 3:16:28 PM

fyreredsub

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

how about having her write an essay on whatever the topic/reason for punishment is. (that way you know it'll get done) give a time limit on completion.
oops edited for ...i should have read enitire thread first.
dove had the thought already, sorry girl.
we seem to be on the same wave length

< Message edited by fyreredsub -- 3/27/2006 3:18:48 PM >

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to CanadianGuy)

Post #: 20

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