Lost erection in subspace (Full Version)

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Lashra -> Lost erection in subspace (3/27/2006 5:00:29 AM)

I have a question and Im not sure if there really is an answer to it.
I've been with my sub for about a year now and since this is his first sub experience of his life I've been slowly over the last year working him up the pain ladder. He loves it and we both enjoy it.

This weekend I decided to put him through an intense session. I used flogging with a suede warm up followed by a braided cat, spanking with a wooden hairbrush followed by a cane and then ice was used on his hot buttcheeks followed by a pinwheel. He was wayy out in subspace to the point of being incoherent[:D].

Anyway I had him lay down and tied him up for some CBT with clothespins, ice and the pinwheel, with flogging with a bungee flogger in between. Now he'd had a raging hard erection the whole time and lost it during the CBT (which he loves).  We usually have sex to wind up our play sessions but was unable to. Now this was no big deal to me and I wasn't exactly surprised due to all the sensations he was feeling but he is highly upset and can't seem to get over it.

I've talked to him and told him its no big deal that it happens to everyone, but he says never to him that he has to be perfect for me everytime. So now he is almost depressed and afraid he disappointed me. I explained that he didnt disappoint me that I love him and it was probably just all the sensation coupled with his going into deep subspace that brought it on.

Anyone have this happen during play or have any ideas of why maybe it happened?

~Lashra



MadamShy -> RE: Lost erection in subspace (3/27/2006 5:10:29 AM)

yes I have seen this now and again a bit of cuddling in down time should bring him back up if you get my drift. wrap him up in a blanket and just have no expectations for sex after, if it happens it happens.  I Myself keep sex and playtime separate just because the overload of endorphins can cause lack of erection sub space has been called a body orgasm and he didn't disapoint You he just couldn't get it back up after such a wonderful intense BodyOrgasm so to speak tell him this ..and face it sex isn't always needed wait a hour and have sex when the penis is functional again while rubbing his welts so he can remember the delishious play earlier..


hope I helped




mnottertail -> RE: Lost erection in subspace (3/27/2006 5:30:05 AM)

Assuming he is somewhere around your age, this is not at all unusual. It speaks well of your abilities that you can put enough blood and thought in other areas, that there is nothing left to support a raging hard-on. 
I might tell the guy a little white lie and say that you strived for and expected this to occur, based on yadda yadda yadda.......
Most erectile dysfunction is caused in the head, just like most orgasms.
People of fragile psyche often make this a self-fulfilling prophesy by talking themselves into it.
Something like this actually goes on in their head...
OMFG, I can't keep a hard-on, what if I never can get one again? What if I am expected to have one and I can't?  This has never happened to me before...Maybe I am getting to old....Maybe I am unable to have sex, ever again?  Oh, what if she is secretly covering up her disdain?  The self-talk keeps spinning out of control and you have performance anxiety that heads to full blown erectile dysfunction. 
Perhaps a night of soft music, dimmed lights, soft play....a couple of drinks, so he gets a warm relaxed glow, (not to many tho) and some attention to mr winkie, with the eye towards hard, then soft then hard again......and then look him in they eye and tell him that as far as you are concerned it works fine... go off to bed..command him to give you a full rubdown and lick.........and go to sleep without any sexual release for him........

Why, he will be back to raging hard-ons in no time.

Ron  

  



MizSuz -> RE: Lost erection in subspace (3/27/2006 5:42:15 AM)

You could always get a pump and then bind it up. 

I agree with telling him that you're not interested in his release so it's not necessary, and then making him please you with no release for him.  That'll work quite well.



crouchingtigress -> RE: Lost erection in subspace (3/27/2006 6:22:42 AM)

 
 
It happens occasionally, but if I make an observation, he is going to work himself in to a whole heap of trouble if he keeps obsessing about it. His erections are much more tied to his thoughts then to the play so he will create a self fulfilling prophecy and that is not going to be fun for either of you.
 
If it was one of mine, I would be very clear that he is there for my pleasure, and I am the only one that has the capacity to decide if he is pleasing me or not. And that he is undermining the dynamic to presume to decide for me, what is displeasing to me, and furthermore he is defiantly Not pleasing me by obsessing.
 
Lashra I would try to nip this one in the bud ASAP, men get very funny when they get into their head about this stuff.
 
 



knees2you -> RE: Lost erection in subspace (3/27/2006 8:40:41 AM)

Lashra[:D]

What makes him hard, what makes him soft?

I would take the soft and not use it very much.
but what makes him hard I would keep that going.
quote:


"Yes I Said It!"


Sincerely, Ant[;)]



proudsub -> RE: Lost erection in subspace (3/27/2006 3:02:44 PM)

Maybe his viagra wore off.   J/K couldn't resist.[:D]



Real0ne -> RE: Lost erection in subspace (3/27/2006 5:16:23 PM)

its very possible that the intensity wore him out and he was totally exhausted



Misstoyou -> RE: Lost erection in subspace (3/27/2006 10:14:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Real0ne

its very possible that the intensity wore him out and he was totally exhausted


That did happen once to my submissive. He collapsed on my lap, and with two strokes of aftercare, he fell fast asleep. Luckily for me, after a quick twenty minute nap, he woke up, um, fully rested.

P.S. Ron, Gotta tell you I LOVED the internal dialogue. [:)]



Lashra -> RE: Lost erection in subspace (3/28/2006 4:31:06 AM)

Thanks everyone for the replies. I read them to him and he feels much better about what happened.

~Lashra



worthlessobject -> RE: Lost erection in subspace (3/28/2006 6:52:26 PM)

I have to say that I rarely get an erection from the process of submission. I mostly get mine when I am not in slavery but thinking of the detail after they happened. In whipping, beating, or caging I am focused on the pain and my orders. I guess is it normal to no have a slave erect durring submission?



TexasMaam -> RE: Lost erection in subspace (3/29/2006 2:28:00 AM)

I've seen subs experience this a lot, particularly during a hard pain session after which there's always after care, holding, cuddling, snuggling.  We often fall asleep in each other's arms.  After which the sub usually wakes with an erection and we'll enjoy some very intense sex.

If he's really having a difficult time coping with it, go back to non~ painful basics, particularly bondage, which seems to arouse more than overstimulate, like the pain session can.

Texas Maam



TexasMaam -> RE: Lost erection in subspace (3/29/2006 2:30:26 AM)

crouchingtigress
 
 
It happens occasionally, but if I make an observation, he is going to work himself in to a whole heap of trouble if he keeps obsessing about it. His erections are much more tied to his thoughts then to the play so he will create a self fulfilling prophecy and that is not going to be fun for either of you.
 
If it was one of mine, I would be very clear that he is there for my pleasure, and I am the only one that has the capacity to decide if he is pleasing me or not. And that he is undermining the dynamic to presume to decide for me, what is displeasing to me, and furthermore he is defiantly Not pleasing me by obsessing.
 
Lashra I would try to nip this one in the bud ASAP, men get very funny when they get into their head about this stuff.

Ditto what crouchingtigress said!  ~~ Texas Maam



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