knees2you
Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline
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I'm sorry I couldn't resist. At least the story was a little
humorous.
Pam
TO MY DEAR WIFE:
During the past year I have tried to make love to you
365 times.
I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once
every ten days.
The following is a list of why I did not succeed more
often:
54 times the sheets were clean
17 times it was too late
49 times you were too tired
20 times it was too hot
15 times you pretended to be sleep
22 times you had a headache
17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
16 times you said you were too sore
12 times it was the wrong time of the month
19 times you had to get up early
9 times you said weren't in the mood
7 times you were sunburned
6 times you were watching the late show
5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo
3 times you said the neighbors would hear us
9 times you said your mother would hear us
Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory
because:
6 times you just laid there
8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling
4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with
7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished
1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you
move
KEEP READING.......
TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:
I think you have things a little confused. Here
are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:
5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat
36 times you did not come home at all
21 times you didn't cum
33 times you came too soon
19 times you went soft before you got in
38 times you worked too late
10 times you got cramps in your toes
29 times you had to get up early to play golf
2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls 4 times
you got it stuck in your zipper 3 times you had a cold and your nose
was
running 2 times you had a splinter in your finger 20 times you lost the
notion after thinking about it all day 6 times you came in your pajamas
while reading a dirty book 98 times you were too busy watching TV
Of the times we did get together:
The reason I laid still was because you missed and
were screwing the sheets.
I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling,
what I said was, "Would you prefer me on my back or
kneeling?"
The time you felt me move was because you farted
and I was trying to breathe.
Once you read this letter you have to keep it going.
This game has been played since 1996.
You must send this letter to 7 people.
On the 5th day someone will ask you out or say, "I love you."
This is not a joke.
It has worked for many years.
If you break the chain,
you will have bad luck with guys/girls forever.
This is just for future readers.
This began in 1996,not much of a past, but it works.
So here are the rules:
If you read this on a Sunday, wish for a good week
If you read this on a Monday, wish for money
If you read this on a Tuesday, wish for love
If you read this on a Wednesday, wish for success
If you read this on a Thursday, wish for anything you want
If you read this on a Friday, wish for a really hot date
If you read this on a Saturday, wish for an important phone call
"This is just not right."
Sincerely, Ant
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Husbands or Wives, You be the Judge.. - 
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RE: Husbands or Wives, You be the Judge.. - 
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