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Not feeling creative...taking suggestions - 2/11/2010 6:56:47 AM

MsLilly203

Posts: 2
Joined: 2/5/2010
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Hello! I'm the Dom in my marriage - & I will not be coy in saying that if it weren't for my husband's interest in this, I probably wouldn't be doing it, save for maybe once a year.

I have witnessed how much my marriage benefits from this type of relationship & just ordered a few books on the matter to gain more knowledge about it.

Here's my problem, though. My in-laws are taking our 4 year old for Sat. night...so we're left all by ourselves. No little person to worry about waking up, etc. Since we're alone, I want to do something special, in the D/s fashion...but I'm just not a very creative person when it comes to...well, when it comes to just about everything! I can't ask him what he wants to do, b/c where's the fun in that??? I'm open to suggestions about a particular idea I had - a little scene play where I'm going to critique him - in a variety of areas. I read a similar idea on another website & really like the concept, but I'm trying to find ways to make it more interesting...& this is where I get stuck...due to the lack of creativity in my mostly analytical brain.

Any thoughts, from Dommes, Doms, or subs...

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RE: Not feeling creative...taking suggestions - 2/11/2010 7:13:44 AM

LadyPact

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Sure.

Floggers, paddles, tails, bondage, wax, fire, role play, interrogation, cbt, objectification, humiliation, high protocol, pampering, foot worship, puppy play, leash training, cutting, knife play, liquid latex, massage, electrical, predicament play, strap on, canes, cupping, mind fucks, and probably a thousand other things that I could sit here and list item by item for you.

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RE: Not feeling creative...taking suggestions - 2/11/2010 7:19:42 AM

SolangeRichards

Posts: 170
Joined: 5/8/2005
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My simplest answer to you would be to go back to that scene idea.

As you wrote, you really like the concept. You wonder about ideas to make it more interesting though.

What would make it more interesting, to you? You see your thinking as more analytical than creative, and I think your answers lie there to be frank.

In your reading, take the things that appeal to you. Ask yourself about the areas that were not as interesting to you and think of things that would improve on them and appeal to you more.

In other words, use that analytic thinking to tailor the concept to one that interests and excites you. You're running the scene, and it's not difficult to tell if hubby is enjoying it too, there will be a response reaction easily visible...

< Message edited by SolangeRichards -- 2/11/2010 7:21:34 AM >

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RE: Not feeling creative...taking suggestions - 2/11/2010 7:22:50 AM

Kaiel

Posts: 748
Joined: 4/17/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Sure.

Floggers, paddles, tails, bondage, wax, fire, role play, interrogation, cbt, objectification, humiliation, high protocol, pampering, foot worship, puppy play, leash training, cutting, knife play, liquid latex, massage, electrical, predicament play, strap on, canes, cupping, mind fucks, and probably a thousand other things that I could sit here and list item by item for you.

I totally agree... especially with the pampering part... if you are struggling with getting into it, one great way to do it is to have him pamper you... Make him get naked, put a slave or training collar on him (if you have one) and put him to work.

he could do some chores (like make dinner for you or serving as your maid), then run you a bath and dry you off, give you a massage, orally service you, maybe you'll flog him... maybe not. If your husband truly wants to serve you... an evening of allowing him to do that would be delightful for him and rewarding for you... I am sure.

Good luck. I am sure you'll get tons of great ideas here.

LadyPact's list is a great start. :)

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RE: Not feeling creative...taking suggestions - 2/11/2010 7:35:06 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
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Because I have no idea how you play, or what interests either of you.. I'll just make a suggestion for a Valentine's Day thing.. since its that time...

Get some red roses, raspberries, truffles, champagne (if you drink - I don't) dark chocolate, chocolate covered coffee beans, candles for hot wax, sour candy, red rope, blind fold, feathers, scratchy stuff (hair brush, or check your kitchen, or... come borrow my things *grin*) You get the idea? I'd get even more things... but that's a start.. oh and have some kind of implement of impact handy.. cane or paddle.. or whatever moves you...

use the roses (thorns ar one point, petals at another) use the feather.. then something scratchy.. feed him a raspberry.. then some chocolate then a sip of champagne - ask him what he's tasting.. (oh wait, forgot... blind fold him and tie him up tightly... I'd bind his cock and balls too.. loosely so there's some room) ... when you touch him with things, touch his whole body but not his genitals... if it were me, I'd be pouring things like wax and cold water on him too...use the ice... maybe have something warm... I've put those warming things (small ones) into an electric blankie to warm up...

but in the end, if it were me... its Valentine's Day almost... I'd be out for blood...

and I have to stop now.. its only Thursday.. but thank goodness we're snowed in with lots of time on our hands

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsLilly203

Hello! I'm the Dom in my marriage - & I will not be coy in saying that if it weren't for my husband's interest in this, I probably wouldn't be doing it, save for maybe once a year.

I have witnessed how much my marriage benefits from this type of relationship & just ordered a few books on the matter to gain more knowledge about it.

Here's my problem, though. My in-laws are taking our 4 year old for Sat. night...so we're left all by ourselves. No little person to worry about waking up, etc. Since we're alone, I want to do something special, in the D/s fashion...but I'm just not a very creative person when it comes to...well, when it comes to just about everything! I can't ask him what he wants to do, b/c where's the fun in that??? I'm open to suggestions about a particular idea I had - a little scene play where I'm going to critique him - in a variety of areas. I read a similar idea on another website & really like the concept, but I'm trying to find ways to make it more interesting...& this is where I get stuck...due to the lack of creativity in my mostly analytical brain.

Any thoughts, from Dommes, Doms, or subs...

< Message edited by Madame4a -- 2/11/2010 7:51:03 AM >

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RE: Not feeling creative...taking suggestions - 2/11/2010 2:57:13 PM

MzLillysRealm

Posts: 10
Joined: 1/27/2010
Status: offline

I thought I would throw something out there, which is, reading of erotica that is lifestyle oriented. There are many sites that post lifestyle related stories from both sub and Dom/me positions. This gives you the more subtle nuances, dialog suggestions and variance of play. Aside from that it can be thrilling. From the stories you can add your own twists to suit your likes as well as your husband. Another idea is to peruse various fetish sites and retailers and get your mind into the various possibilities. Searching on any search engine will provide you with copious choices to keep you looking creative forever!

Good Luck and Enjoy your time alone...

Lilly

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RE: Not feeling creative...taking suggestions - 2/11/2010 5:19:42 PM

LadyAngelika

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Joined: 7/4/2004
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Solange had great advice about "use that analytic thinking to tailor the concept to one that interests and excites you".

quote:

a little scene play where I'm going to critique him - in a variety of areas

To me. this says challenge him (and of course it will mean something totally different to someone else).

You could give him a challenge to do something e.g.: crawl to you balancing a stem glass of wine on his lower back -- best crystal not recommended ;-) I've never had one man spill a glass so far!

You could challenge him to endure something for you, like staying still while you torture him (as gently or as sadistically as you like). There are ways to make this harder, like paper handcuffs -- don't tear the paper cuffs! Or holding dimes with knees against a wall, etc.

So many challenges, and you could have fun critiquing his performance ;-)

Most of all, have fun!

- LA

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RE: Not feeling creative...taking suggestions - 2/11/2010 6:07:23 PM

Kaiel

Posts: 748
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline

quote:

and I have to stop now.. its only Thursday.. but thank goodness we're snowed in with lots of time on our hands

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsLilly203

Hello! I'm the Dom in my marriage - & I will not be coy in saying that if it weren't for my husband's interest in this, I probably wouldn't be doing it, save for maybe once a year.

I have witnessed how much my marriage benefits from this type of relationship & just ordered a few books on the matter to gain more knowledge about it.

Here's my problem, though. My in-laws are taking our 4 year old for Sat. night...so we're left all by ourselves. No little person to worry about waking up, etc. Since we're alone, I want to do something special, in the D/s fashion...but I'm just not a very creative person when it comes to...well, when it comes to just about everything! I can't ask him what he wants to do, b/c where's the fun in that??? I'm open to suggestions about a particular idea I had - a little scene play where I'm going to critique him - in a variety of areas. I read a similar idea on another website & really like the concept, but I'm trying to find ways to make it more interesting...& this is where I get stuck...due to the lack of creativity in my mostly analytical brain.

Any thoughts, from Dommes, Doms, or subs...

I am in the DC area too, snowed it... with lots of time on My hands... heheheheheh :) So, I know what you mean!!! :)

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RE: Not feeling creative...taking suggestions - 2/11/2010 7:44:56 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
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I'd restrain him and milk him, verbally humiliating him throughout. But that's just me.

I have my boy keep still and quiet, while I use him. But again, that's just me. Control, humiliation, and objectification are my major kinks.

Yum.

(edit for spelling)

< Message edited by dreamerdreaming -- 2/11/2010 7:45:37 PM >

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RE: Not feeling creative...taking suggestions - 2/12/2010 3:08:23 PM

MsLilly203

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Joined: 2/5/2010
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Thanks for all the feedback!!! Not really into knives or blood...but tons of other cool ideas. I like the idea about playing on his senses. I do have a TENS unit for some back problems that generates electrical impulses that I can control.

Can someone clear up predicament bondage??? I'm assuming it's being tied up where relaxing one part will pull on another, & vice versa...not yielding to any comfortable position...am I right? Also - what is high protocol???

Thanks again for all the help! I appreciate it!!!

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RE: Not feeling creative...taking suggestions - 2/12/2010 5:11:18 PM

LadyAngelika

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Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

Can someone clear up predicament bondage??? I'm assuming it's being tied up where relaxing one part will pull on another, & vice versa...not yielding to any comfortable position...am I right? Also - what is high protocol???

Predicament bondage is an activity in which a bottom is put in such a position such that it creates a conflict of desires. I started a thread on this a while back: Predicament Bondage for the Wickedly Inclined.

- LA

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RE: Not feeling creative...taking suggestions - 2/12/2010 10:14:33 PM

SthrnCom4t

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All the suggestions so far have been great, and I'm sure has your brain all fired up.

What I might say for the future, is that being a Domme doesn't have to be hard work. I mean, he wants you to be in control, so use that to your advantage. Make your submissive do the legwork of finding stories with ideas, predicament bondage that looks challenging, etc.

Just b/c he gives you the material, doesn't mean you'll use it. Probably he won't bring you anything that doesn't appeal to him on some level so that is a 'give me' as to 'is this a good idea or not?'. Also, the anticipation that you MIGHT use it will work to your advantage to keep him focused. His focus and attentiveness, can be inspiring to you, and the win-win energy exchange spirals.

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