Dom's son committed suicide

Dom's son committed suicide (Full Version)

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curious001 -> Dom's son committed suicide (2/11/2010 8:19:56 AM)
I've been talking to a Dom for about three months now and we have become great friends. We've each been through some tough spots during that time, but have always been able to help each other other through them. This one I don't know how to handle. This past Monday his 15 year old son committed suicide. He told me Tuesday morning. He said he had to go and he wouldn't be back. I told him that I was his friend first and foremost, and that I would be there if he needed me or wanted to talk. If he does want to talk, what do I say? I don't want to say the wrong thing and make him hurt more than he already does. I know this will take time. I know there are some very smart people on these boards. So if you could please share some wisdom with me, I would really appreciate it right now.

xxblushesxx -> RE: Dom's son committed suicide (2/11/2010 8:23:17 AM)
You tell him what's in your heart. That your heart goes out to him, that you don't know what to say and that you know that nothing you can say can begin to heal his heart, but you're there if he needs to talk, but that you understand if he doesn't. Then you leave it. I'm sorry to hear about your friend's tragedy.

Madame4a -> RE: Dom's son committed suicide (2/11/2010 8:23:24 AM)
If you don't know this man in real life... I'm going to hope that he really has some other flesh and blood.. close people he can turn to first. Maybe not.. have you ever had someone lose someone they love in their life.. have you? If so, I'd draw on that experience.. in truth, you can only listen... give your sympathies for the loss (once) and listen some more.. you can't fix it and because I'm being ultra cynical this morning.. I've heard people use worse excuses (my wife died, my brother died) to disappear and 'end' a relationship. No reason at this point not to believe him.. but.. just a thought...

GreedyTop -> RE: Dom's son committed suicide (2/11/2010 8:27:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx You tell him what's in your heart. That your heart goes out to him, that you don't know what to say and that you know that nothing you can say can begin to heal his heart, but you're there if he needs to talk, but that you understand if he doesn't. Then you leave it. I'm sorry to hear about your friend's tragedy. This.

curious001 -> RE: Dom's son committed suicide (2/11/2010 8:27:53 AM)
Unfortunately he has shut himself off completely from me. I cannot be there with him but his family (parents, brother and two other children) will be. I sent him an email telling him that I would be there for him. Always. But now I just have to wait.

loverly -> RE: Dom's son committed suicide (2/11/2010 8:28:30 AM)
lol one "dom" told me he had to have brain surgery! hahahaha and then when i saw him online he said it ws his sister.. yet.. funny thing.. she typed Exactly like he did.. please! and in the end.. for this siruation.. ALL you can do is be there....

AquaticSub -> RE: Dom's son committed suicide (2/11/2010 8:28:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx You tell him what's in your heart. That your heart goes out to him, that you don't know what to say and that you know that nothing you can say can begin to heal his heart, but you're there if he needs to talk, but that you understand if he doesn't. Then you leave it. I'm sorry to hear about your friend's tragedy. Thirded.

LaTigresse -> RE: Dom's son committed suicide (2/11/2010 8:28:34 AM)
What Madame4a already said. Me being me, especially the very last part.

GreedyTop -> RE: Dom's son committed suicide (2/11/2010 8:29:09 AM)
then wait. All you can do is be an ear and a shoulder if he needs you. Let him know that you are hurting FOR him., but don't push yourself on him.

curious001 -> RE: Dom's son committed suicide (2/11/2010 8:29:23 AM)
If this was a reason to end the relationship, I think I could deal with it a lot better than I have been. Unfortunately though, its true.

LaTigresse -> RE: Dom's son committed suicide (2/11/2010 8:32:08 AM)
I don't want to sound harsh but as a parent I will say this. If that was me, in the situation you described, you would be the very last person I would want to deal with at all. When I am hurting, I retreat until I can cope with other people wanting any sort of energy from me.

Madame4a -> RE: Dom's son committed suicide (2/11/2010 8:34:02 AM)
Not sure how you're dealing with it.. but make sure you don't make this about you... its about him and his family... quote: ORIGINAL: curious001 If this was a reason to end the relationship, I think I could deal with it a lot better than I have been. Unfortunately though, its true.

Jeffff -> RE: Dom's son committed suicide (2/11/2010 8:34:36 AM)
I agree......... I would want no contact with anyone for a while. I can't even imagine how a person gets through the first few months after something like that. Jeff

curious001 -> RE: Dom's son committed suicide (2/11/2010 8:35:47 AM)
I know this isn't about me. I can't help it that I hurt for him.

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Dom's son committed suicide (2/11/2010 8:36:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx You tell him what's in your heart. That your heart goes out to him, that you don't know what to say and that you know that nothing you can say can begin to heal his heart, but you're there if he needs to talk, but that you understand if he doesn't. Then you leave it. I'm sorry to hear about your friend's tragedy. 4th'd

ResidentSadist -> RE: Dom's son committed suicide (2/11/2010 8:37:58 AM)
Is online friendship or real life? Either way, if it was only a 90 day old ‘friendship’, what more can you do than to give him your empathy and wish him well.

curious001 -> RE: Dom's son committed suicide (2/11/2010 8:39:45 AM)
It started as an online friendship and became a Dom/Sub relationship in real life.

ResidentSadist -> RE: Dom's son committed suicide (2/11/2010 8:42:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: curious001 It started as an online friendship and became a Dom/Sub relationship in real life. So this is a real life D/s realationship and he si gonna cut and run because of a stress in his personal life that has nothing to do with you? Is he married to somone (i.e. not you)?

pompeii -> RE: Dom's son committed suicide (2/11/2010 8:45:50 AM)
Time heals all ... so you wait.

EmeraldGuardian -> RE: Dom's son committed suicide (2/11/2010 8:46:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Madame4a have you ever had someone lose someone they love in their life.. have you? If so, I'd draw on that experience.. in truth, you can only listen... give your sympathies for the loss (once) and listen some more.. you can't fix it and because I'm being ultra cynical this morning.. I've heard people use worse excuses (my wife died, my brother died) to disappear and 'end' a relationship. No reason at this point not to believe him.. but.. just a thought... Suicide's a life sentence for the survivors. Like any death, it's gonna take some time for him to work through it; and there will always be haunting questions.... M4a: I think you're being realistic, not cynical. There is a chance the OP is getting played by a spineless Dom. Sure, take it at face value for now; but your words are a good point nevertheless.

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