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New and eager to learn - 2/11/2010 9:14:23 AM   
Johmey


Posts: 18
Joined: 2/9/2010
Status: offline 		Being a slave is something I have wanted to be since I ever heard of the concept. And now I am ready to pursue it. I have a great pain tolerance and a desire to do almost everything minus a few things such as knife play (oh who knows maybe I might like that too :X )
Are there any subs/slaves that have once started out fresh like me once before have any advice/tips/suggestions/any help... I am open to everything by nature so feel free to criticize me at will. I really want to get the ball rolling and start learning new things and gain any kind of experience for better or for worse :)
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: New and eager to learn - 2/11/2010 9:29:47 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline 		Just curious...did you take into account and explore any of the advice you were given on your other thread HERE ?

While I understand your eagerness, it will be difficult to put most things into practice without a partner...be it LTR or play partner. 



_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~


(in reply to Johmey)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: New and eager to learn - 2/11/2010 9:30:06 AM   
Wolf2Bear


Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline 		- know yourself and define want you want, what you need and what you desire.
- learn to separate the fantasy aspect from the reality
- take things slow and easy, it's too easy to get caught up in the newness and frenzy of wanting to try everything right now. Been there, done that and lucky enough that I didn't place myself in serious harm.
- be sensible and treat potential partners as people first and understand that they are human just like we are.


_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to Johmey)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: New and eager to learn - 2/11/2010 10:58:06 AM   
elleX


Posts: 161
Joined: 10/24/2009
Status: offline 		hello,, i dont know much about male submission but if i was  you  i would attend munches first  , you will meet likeminded people and could meet potential partner there  ,,
take it easy,,, respect yourself and others as Wolf said ,,,,
you should find a way to express yourself
good luck
elleX

(in reply to Wolf2Bear)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: New and eager to learn - 2/11/2010 11:01:11 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		Step back and take 6 months to do some personal soul searching.  Go back over what has worked for you in the past and what has not worked for you.  Attempt to discover what you are trying to find within a Dominant/submissive relationship.  Improve yourself.  Pick a skill that would help you in finding that perfect partner for yourself and learn that skill.  This might be as simple as preparing meals, or cake decorating.  This skill will, however, be something that can be used for the rest of your life.  Read everything you can about the lifestyle you are seeking.  Do not watch BDSM porn movies or read BDSM porn fiction.  You are trying to read what real people do in real life, not some fantasy. 

After taking 6 months for your soul searching it's time to find people.  Find your local munch.  Find out when events are happening in your neck of the woods.  Plan your vacation times if necessary to attend a munch or event.  If you go to an event be a volunteer.  Not only will it get you in cheaper, you'll be able to show what a helpful person you can be.   You'll also meet the most people as a volunteer.  Volunteer to be a stunt dummy for shibari or whatever a stunt dummy might be needed for. 

To get what you seek you are going to have to be pro active.  You will have to make the effort to find munches, events and people.  You have to do work.  Sitting on the internet  hoping and praying some great Dominant will see your profile and write to ask for some play time it NOT going to work for the vast majority.  Sitting on the internet will not give you the experience you seek. 

So it's up to you.  Take time to discover what you are seeking, then seek out people and places where those experiences can happen.  Again, it's all up to you. 

(in reply to Johmey)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: New and eager to learn - 2/11/2010 11:23:02 AM   
dragonseeker


Posts: 554
Status: offline 		My suggestion would be to find a local munch in your area and a local dungeon. This will put you in touch with like minded people and give you a chance to perhaps get some play time in with someone that is experienced and known in the community, and perhaps even find someone that you can explore being a slave with. Here is a list of munches/gatherings.




_____________________________

slave kamile

signed, sealed, delivered... i'm owned

i reject your reality and substitute my own

(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: New and eager to learn - 2/11/2010 11:41:25 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

Step back and take 6 months to do some personal soul searching.  Go back over what has worked for you in the past and what has not worked for you.  Attempt to discover what you are trying to find within a Dominant/submissive relationship.  Improve yourself.  Pick a skill that would help you in finding that perfect partner for yourself and learn that skill.  This might be as simple as preparing meals, or cake decorating.  This skill will, however, be something that can be used for the rest of your life.  Read everything you can about the lifestyle you are seeking.  Do not watch BDSM porn movies or read BDSM porn fiction.  You are trying to read what real people do in real life, not some fantasy. 

After taking 6 months for your soul searching it's time to find people.  Find your local munch.  Find out when events are happening in your neck of the woods.  Plan your vacation times if necessary to attend a munch or event.  If you go to an event be a volunteer.  Not only will it get you in cheaper, you'll be able to show what a helpful person you can be.   You'll also meet the most people as a volunteer.  Volunteer to be a stunt dummy for shibari or whatever a stunt dummy might be needed for. 

To get what you seek you are going to have to be pro active.  You will have to make the effort to find munches, events and people.  You have to do work.  Sitting on the internet  hoping and praying some great Dominant will see your profile and write to ask for some play time it NOT going to work for the vast majority.  Sitting on the internet will not give you the experience you seek. 

So it's up to you.  Take time to discover what you are seeking, then seek out people and places where those experiences can happen.  Again, it's all up to you. 



peppermint...this is such a fantastic and spot-on post.  I wish someone had taken the time to give me this advice when I first started to explore.

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~


(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: New and eager to learn - 2/11/2010 5:56:02 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Whoa.  Slavery isn't for everyone.  It involves a huge desire to please another.

I'd suggest being a submissive first, and then progressing to slavery after a while.  Also, seek out local play groups and play with several tops.  Scening isn't the sum total of slavery - for from it - but it's the part that many focus on initially.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to CarrieO)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: New and eager to learn - 2/11/2010 9:35:39 PM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		since when did being a slave require you to have a high tolerance to pain? my suggestion is to not jump into things based on assumption; there are plenty of people who would chew you up and spit you out because of your naivity to certain things.

(in reply to Johmey)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: New and eager to learn - 2/12/2010 12:53:43 PM   
Ladynslave


Posts: 376
Joined: 7/30/2009
Status: offline 		Remember that each of us is an individual with different wants and needs.  Not all of us enjoy a pain slut.  The welding was interesting as well as potentially helpful, though.  Keep that in your profile whenever you re-vamp.

Lady


_____________________________

Women and cats will do what they please. Men and dogs need to relax and get used to the idea.

If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.

(in reply to Johmey)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: New and eager to learn - 2/19/2010 4:32:44 PM   
OralCuckGurl


Posts: 65
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline 		Here are sure-fire ways to land that elusive domme: (1) so that she knows what you look like...send her lots of pictures of your genitalia; (2) so that she knows your innermost feelings...make your opening overtures to her graphically-sexual in nature; (3) so that she is not wondering...make sure that you spell-out for her each and every deviant sexual act you need her to do to you; (4) so that she knows that she won't have to enforce tons of rules...make clear that your submission is sexual only; (5) so that she knows that you are not married...demand immediate co-habitation; (6) so that she isn't irritated by overly-long emails...speak to her in "text message-ese" (e.g. "u" for "you"); (7) so that she feels properly courted...overtly troll for her on the message boards; (8) so that she does not fret that you are not truly tame-able...reassure her you have nowhere else to go; (9) lest she think you to be "cheap"...remind her that a real slave is purchased; and (10) so that she knows that her health is ensured...make sure that she knows that the county public health STD clinic cleaned you up nicely.

With these Ten Commandments...you'll have Dommes all over you in no time!

(in reply to Ladynslave)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: New and eager to learn - 2/19/2010 5:28:56 PM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Whoa.  Slavery isn't for everyone.  It involves a huge desire to please another.



Exactly. Very little about pain tolerance, really, unless that happens to be important to the Owner that you serve.

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 12
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