quote:

ORIGINAL: lazarus1983



But that notwithstanding, do you think telling someone that they're traumatized after an event, can sometimes put them in an, "Ok, I must be" mindframe?

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticNightmare

I watched 911 as it unfolded too. It looked like a Hollywood movie.
There was no one there I cared about-no one I knew. It was surreal. I saw the reactions later on,and thought "Dance puppets,dance."

We let them change our lifestyle. In Israel-when a bombing happens-they fix up the scene,and no one can tell any different a day,a week,a month later.

They are stronger than us. They don't let people fuck with how they live.

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: lazarus1983



But that notwithstanding, do you think telling someone that they're traumatized after an event, can sometimes put them in an, "Ok, I must be" mindframe?

I think it's possible with some people, yes.

Not long ago my youngest son (15yrs) came across a woman my age who'd been raped at knifepoint late at night.  We live in a small rural town in the UK, this type of thing is extremely rare. He called the police, comforted the lady as best he could, checked her over at the direction of the paramedics on the phone. The lady was virtually naked and in a deep state of shock.

None of this is remotely close to anything he's ever had to deal with. He called me to tell me he was going to be late because of what had happened. I asked him if he was alright and did he want me to come. He told me that it wasn't necessary as the police and ambulance had just arrived. He was calm, he was dealing with it and I let him.

He was a bit quiet the next day, we talked about what had happened, he didn't go into much detail but he knew he could, if he wanted to. He didn't NEED to.

When he was interviewed by the police two days later, I had to be present as he is a minor.......I heard every detail of what he saw and what he'd done. Two adult males stopped their cars and drove on when they saw that it was being dealt with...by a 15yr old boy! I most certainly would have been far more *affected* than he was.

The point is, of course it had AN effect on him. He got a stark and real experience of awful things that can happen to people like Mummy. But no-one told him he *should* be traumatized. He was dealing with it in his own way and he was left to do so. It would have been shoddy of me to insist he *feel* things that he didn't, or to suggest he should or might be traumatised.

He showed that he had inner resources, that I couldn't possibly have known he had, and I allowed him to hone them.

(A week later he got a letter of commendation from the Chief Inspector for his *good citizenship*)

agirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: SultryItalian

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticNightmare

I watched 911 as it unfolded too. It looked like a Hollywood movie.
There was no one there I cared about-no one I knew. It was surreal. I saw the reactions later on,and thought "Dance puppets,dance."

We let them change our lifestyle. In Israel-when a bombing happens-they fix up the scene,and no one can tell any different a day,a week,a month later.

They are stronger than us. They don't let people fuck with how they live.

Same here. I was in Basic Training in the USAF, and at first thought it was part of training to see how we would react to a real-world attack. Out of the 36 females in my training flight, one other girl and I were the only two not bawling our eyes out. I later saw how the rest of the world reacted and realized the same as you: Sheep.