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MonicaLeigh -> satisfaction of serving (2/12/2010 1:52:15 PM)
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when i first got involved in BDSM i asked myself what is it about this lifestyle that makes me feel complete? why cant a "qoute" normal vanilla relationship do it for me? I mean i was very opinionated and have a likeable personality. I was by no means the doormat type. So what was it that was drawing me in such a different path?
It was my eagerness to please others, to put my feeling aside and put others before myself. I've always been one to help another person when i was in the midst of a crisis myself, to forget about my wants my needs and my desires inspite of how it made me feel. I have this void in my inner soul when im not serving others, when i put my needs first i feel selfish. I get the most amazing satisfaction and self assurance from helping others sexually emotionally physically and mentally
My submission started long before i eve n knew such a lifestyle exsisted, when i began exploring the mental aspects, pros and cons of this kind of affliation. it was intriguing to see how much i was missing out on! it scared me a bit. the reoccuring thoughts were: what if get hurt? is it safe? am i crazy for putting my life into the hands of sumone else?
Everyone of the above questions resembled the trust factor, i had trust issues before discovering the world of BDSM, What was i doing? trying to make them worse? No as a matter of fact the more i learned about the M.s relationship and its full dynamic, the more assured i became that this was the path i needed to take.
To Sum it all up, It all panned ojut like this, My trust issues got better (not worse) everytime ive gotten hurt emotionally its only made me stronger and helped me pin point where i went wrong, and i decided that if the definition of craziness was trusting sumone that i love, with my life and my sanity. Than Ill be crazy forever!
Ive grown as a person since understanding my submission and freely giving it to the man i love, ive had people ask me if i regret my desicion of getting involved in the alt life . The answer is NO not for a second. I would regret it if i had passed it up!
So for all you girls out there who know in your heart that this is where you belong. take a chance, other people judge critisize and society doesnt always approve. But in the end does what others think really matter? Its your life it belongs to you, therfore what makes you happy is whats important.
I advise you to be picky spunky and opinonated! Dont settle for less than a Dom that completes you. If you have a concern voice it, not expressing your feelings shows lack of honesty. Find a dom that your comfortable with and that you can learn to trust! Someone who respects your submission a man who encourages you, pushes you to be better than your best, and when your slacking pushes harder.
MonicaLeigh
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