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Just ranting? - 2/13/2010 9:00:42 AM   
OriginallyFromLA


Posts: 87
Joined: 2/10/2010
Status: offline 		You know, I came here because I had a taste of the lifestyle and I liked it. But that's a pretty vague statement so I want to give you a taste of detail.

What I loved was the complete Trust this woman had vested in me to NOT kill her as I stared into her eyes, with my hands around her throat, choking her just to the point of unconciousness as I continued to thrust slowly and powerfully into her untill we both climaxed. Seeing her gaze teetering back and forth between concious and unconcious as I tightened or relaxed my grip accordingly. Then the way she would clutch me afterwards like she was holding onto a precapice high above a rocky shore line and afraid to fall.

And then her wanting me to do it all again. Fucking Ay!


I've been learning a lot on this site, and I'm trying to take it slow so I can overcome the stereo types I have been taught to expect to go along with the letters BDSM.

But what I was not prepared for is amount of "virtual" BDSM and all of the self important protocols and games women advertising themselves as submissives have in place to screen out the apparent losers, which I must be one of.

We didn't just start out with that scene I described, we got there slowly over time. I personally don't think this is the proper venue to be talking about the most intimate details of my sex life and I have been very reluctant to talk about it in this kind of detail.

But I would like to talk about "it". I would like to talk about it with someone with real experience. But I can't seem to get passed the shields and games and out right hostillity so many women seem to have. Are there no women just willing to be friends and share experiences? I haven't found any that don't already post here. I'll say it right now, I am NOT most people's type. Does that mean I am unworthy of common courtesy? Is everyone so popular that they think everyone else is hitting on them and therefore unfit to talk to?


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RE: Just ranting? - 2/13/2010 9:19:17 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		If you're looking for friends, why not look for other male tops?
Your experiences will match theirs and not a submissive female's.

If you want lots of info on "it", whatever the it of the day in your mind is, this is what the forums are for.

See if you target available women who you find attractive, then that isn't a request to be a friend. That's a sneaky way to try to get in her pants. And above the age of mid high school, most women can see that and will put you on their no thanks list as a result.

If you want to make friends otherwise, meaning different ages, genders, orientations who all will hopefully be accepting of your kink, then go to a munch.

But blaming women because they can see right through you is inappropriate. Worse by doing it here, anybody who reads the forums and is in your general vicinity will be sure to now reject you.

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RE: Just ranting? - 2/13/2010 9:22:52 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OriginallyFromLA

<snip>Are there no women just willing to be friends and share experiences?<snip>

<snip> Is everyone so popular that they think everyone else is hitting on them and therefore unfit to talk to?<snip>



OP,

I'm curious about these two statements you made in your "rant".  Are you looking for a woman to be friends with and be able to talk about kink related things or are you looking for a woman who is interested in a friends-with-kinky-benefits-and-the-ability-to-talk situation?

If you want a friend, I'm sure there are women who would be interested...heck, I have "friends only" listed on my profile...but if you're looking for the other, FWKB, you're in the same boat as many other people here. 

Finding anyone for any type of relationship has it's challenges and it takes time and patience to develop trust in any setting.  Have you tried going to a munch and meeting others involved in WIITWD?  Maybe that would be the best approach as oppossed to online for you.

I don't think it's necessary to share intimate details within an online setting but I do think you might be surprised by the connections you could make if you were willing to simply share your opinions and thoughts....who knows where that could lead.

just my




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RE: Just ranting? - 2/13/2010 9:25:28 AM   
Kaiel


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If you're looking for friends, why not look for other male tops?
Your experiences will match theirs and not a submissive female's.

If you want lots of info on "it", whatever the it of the day in your mind is, this is what the forums are for.

See if you target available women who you find attractive, then that isn't a request to be a friend. That's a sneaky way to try to get in her pants. And above the age of mid high school, most women can see that and will put you on their no thanks list as a result.

If you want to make friends otherwise, meaning different ages, genders, orientations who all will hopefully be accepting of your kink, then go to a munch.

But blaming women because they can see right through you is inappropriate. Worse by doing it here, anybody who reads the forums and is in your general vicinity will be sure to now reject you.


What was just said above!!!

I don't think posting a ranting flaming post will get the response you desire. W/we all have had challenges with online communication... it's par for the course. However, you have to dig in, take it with a grain of salt, show some flexibility, sensibility, and staying power. I saw you post your intro the other day, then change your name I believe... So, I don't think you have been on here that long, because I remember too many details about you...Give it some time... practice some patience. Good luck!


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RE: Just ranting? - 2/13/2010 9:26:56 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5172
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		If by "it" you mean sharing past sexual adventures or future imagined ones, how could I, a complete stranger know that you are honest and sincere while experience tells me the others are just horny net geeks looking for wank material?  

You are appalled at virtual BDSM yet want someone to share their experience virtually with you. 

What is wrong with this picture?



(in reply to OriginallyFromLA)
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RE: Just ranting? - 2/13/2010 9:37:18 AM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline 		Dude- as one Dominant guy to another-

First, understand this is a sexually oriented website. despite all the general interest message topics, the political boards, the sincere relationship advice, yadda yadda yadda....there is a subtext of eros that underscores this entire website.

We as men have to deal with that. Deal with the fact that any given women here is getting hit on 12 times a day. And as a mature man, you are old enough to know that the ABSOLUTE WORST form of seduction is the sly "lets just be friends" line. It ranks somewhere below "we can just cuddle" or "I won't cum in your mouth" as the worst lies ever told by man.

So when we exchange messages with women here on the boards, even if we are polite and platonic and appropriate...we have to understand there will always be a gulf between us and them. And they will always have their shields up, since we will always have our...probes out. Or some sort of Star Trek metaphor there.

You can never be their chatty sorority sister, and they will never be your poker playing buds.

Deal with it.

(in reply to OriginallyFromLA)
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RE: Just ranting? - 2/13/2010 9:39:56 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

with my hands around her throat, choking her just to the point of unconciousness

I would recommend you research this sort of play, it is very dangerous and can have profound impacts on cognitive function as well as perhaps causing death... I wouldn't trust anyone to cut off my air supply by choking around my neck... too much can go wrong. A little breath play by covering the nose and mouth is edgy enough, but if someone actually loses consciousness, you just killed a major amount of brain cells... even almost unconscious kills a few...

Other than that, I have no comment.....

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 2/13/2010 9:40:19 AM >

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Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

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(in reply to OriginallyFromLA)
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RE: Just ranting? - 2/13/2010 9:44:46 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		It might be that you are leaning against a car in your profile. Subs hate that. I am now in the process of developing the perfect profile. Did you know that I own a helicopter?

You got a car and I have a bad ass domibird?....I win!!!

To all of you subbies....(doing my best Arnold voice)..."Run to the choppah!!!!"

< Message edited by domiguy -- 2/13/2010 9:45:24 AM >

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RE: Just ranting? - 2/13/2010 9:47:47 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		Maybe it's because we women get sick to the back teeth of total strangers talking to us and expecting us to give them the gory details of our sex lives?

I wouldn't do it with a stranger I was chatting to in a pub, I won't do it with a stranger I'm chatting to online.


ETA: I'm with Juliaoceania on the breath-play thing. All I can suggest is if you domly ones want to try something potentially perilous on your sub, maybe you try it on yourself first?



< Message edited by myotherself -- 2/13/2010 9:56:50 AM >

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RE: Just ranting? - 2/13/2010 9:53:55 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OriginallyFromLA

What I loved was the complete Trust this woman had vested in me to NOT kill her as I stared into her eyes, with my hands around her throat, choking her just to the point of unconciousness as I continued to thrust slowly and powerfully into her untill we both climaxed. Seeing her gaze teetering back and forth between concious and unconcious as I tightened or relaxed my grip accordingly. Then the way she would clutch me afterwards like she was holding onto a precapice high above a rocky shore line and afraid to fall.




Pay no attention to julia. Choking someone out can be hot. So she loses some brain cells? Big deal. Small price to pay. It ain't exactly like she was studying to become an archaeologist or something.

"Afterwards" women cling to me like I am a "precipice" as well. Only because they know there is a fairly good chance that I will throw them out of bed so I can get some peaceful and undisturbed rest.

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RE: Just ranting? - 2/13/2010 9:56:56 AM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline 		Hi OP

I just looked at your profile and all it mentions is what you are looking for in a relationship. That's great and fine, actually I like your profile but if you approach women in a "let's be friends" manner and they look at your profile they are bound to get suspicous that you are actually using friendship in a sneaky way.

You may want to go back and edit your profile to state that you are also looking for friendship - I'm assuming you are being sincere here in your "rant".

zeph


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The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

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RE: Just ranting? - 2/13/2010 9:58:19 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		You have gory sex?.... why don't you share a bit!

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RE: Just ranting? - 2/13/2010 9:58:39 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
We didn't just start out with that scene I described, we got there slowly over time. I personally don't think this is the proper venue to be talking about the most intimate details of my sex life and I have been very reluctant to talk about it in this kind of detail.

If the above is true for you, why should it be different for anyone else?  Why do you think females want to discuss their intimate life with you, who is a stranger to them over the internet?


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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Just ranting? - 2/13/2010 10:00:29 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

You have gory sex?.... why don't you share a bit!


Damn...I KNEW there was someone else I was supposed to send those pictures to! Oh well, maybe next time...

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RE: Just ranting? - 2/13/2010 10:02:29 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

Pay no attention to julia. Choking someone out can be hot. So she loses some brain cells? Big deal. Small price to pay. It ain't exactly like she was studying to become an archaeologist or something.


True, what do you need a sub with brain cells for, it just makes them uppity expecting you to have conversations and such... in fact you could make the case that a weal twue sub would go through a lobotomy for you, if she truly cared that is


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: Just ranting? - 2/13/2010 10:04:07 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OriginallyFromLA

But what I was not prepared for is amount of "virtual" BDSM and all of the self important protocols and games women advertising themselves as submissives have in place to screen out the apparent losers, which I must be one of.



You mean like this...  "To let me know that you've read this far, please start off your message with: Dear M********* R****; and then tell me what about this profile appeals to you. Any CMail that starts differently will get a one-line response of "Go read my profile." ? 

Yes, people have certain protocols for contact and some like to play silly reindeer games.  In the end, though, it comes down to attitude and truth in advertising.  I don't generally waste my time on people who feel it's necessary to have me jump through hoops in order to initate contact.  Not a very friendly way to start out, imo.

again...just my  



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RE: Just ranting? - 2/13/2010 10:07:06 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		OFLA, I find it interesting that your first response to women basically protecting themselves, is to get frustrated or angry and critical. Now before you go off getting mad at me think about this.

Here is a woman you are emailing and asking to be friends and to chat about bdsm, on a site where just about every other guy who hasn't come on saying, 'kneel bitch', is claiming to want to be her friend and to 'chat'. Virtual strangers, asking for things before any time is given to actually get to know them and feel comfortable sharing what most likely is a very personal and intimate place.

Where do you get off judging these women as somehow jaded and unreasonable?

Almost every man that said he just wanted to be a friend, really wanted an easy way in a back door. (Pun intended.) Every one of those who have contacted to simply chat and learn or anything close to that was motivated by wanting to get his rocks off to the things I might say. Any rush to friendship or kinky talk is going to be met by a rejection. And if you can't see that it is a well placed defense or functioning skill of many women... you might want to consider you have far more than what you think you have... to learn.

Put your attitude in your back pocket... sit on it for a while... sit there and read and stop trying to get into things you clearly do not understand and will continue to get more of an attitude about. Balance yourself and your attitude that comes from what I would call ignorance of what it is like to be a woman in this place, submissive or dominant and slow the fuck down.

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RE: Just ranting? - 2/13/2010 10:09:32 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

Maybe it's because we women get sick to the back teeth of total strangers talking to us and expecting us to give them the gory details of our sex lives?

I wouldn't do it with a stranger I was chatting to in a pub, I won't do it with a stranger I'm chatting to online.


ETA: I'm with Juliaoceania on the breath-play thing. All I can suggest is if you domly ones want to try something potentially perilous on your sub, maybe you try it on yourself first?





This attitude disturbs Me.  How am I supposed to believe you are really submissive if you aren't willing to take a chance on dieing for me?

The subs here are all fake!


Jeff

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RE: Just ranting? - 2/13/2010 10:14:22 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Exactly!!! The real purpose of Domship is to be able to hook up with some young, healthy and brain cell impaired sub so that we may harvest her organs as ours begin to fail.

That is the real def of giving it your all....Anything less and you are obviously a FAKE!

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RE: Just ranting? - 2/13/2010 10:18:41 AM   
chicagosub4u


Posts: 67
Joined: 8/3/2009
Status: offline 		The idea of someone choking me until i am unconscious sounds super fun! I encourage all he domly types to start out all conversations with sub with "On your knees bitch - oh and by the way I'm gonna choke the shit out of you" This is your first assignment. Your second assignment starts near the dumpster...

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Profile   Post #: 20
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