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Vanilla Personals and Femdom - 2/13/2010 1:35:59 PM

beowulf1234

Posts: 13
Joined: 10/16/2009
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I posted an add on a well known personal's website. I made it clear that I was a male slave in search of a Female to serve. I assured them that this add was on the level and I am willing to meet asap
I stated all my domestic services, pampering, my sexuality was fetish based and kinky. There was nothing I wouldn't do to please a Woman.
I was suprised at the responses I recieved. After a time of e-mailing, Iming and finally talking on the phone I met several Lady's. One in particular was so alluring to me, I made it my business to do my best to impress, to serve, and prove my worth to her. She was in her 30's and seperated. After several meetings in public, she asked me to her home. She did her research on Female Domination and was testing her waters. I was happy that she took the time to try. I cleaned her home and made a sumptuous meals. She loved my version of chocolate martinis and I would bathe her feet in champagne, then drink it. I fell for her head over heels. We were together almost every night. This lasted for several weeks. We never had any conventional sex. All I cared to do was to please her. I thought we would be a couple for life. We got so close, so fast!
Sure enough the ex shows up and sees me while I'm on the floor massaging her feet. She got up and and they began to quarrel. My only concern was for her safety, she had told me he was known to smack her around. He started pointing at me and became beligerent. I got up with fire in my eyes, but was cuffed. How embarressing! She finally convinced him to leave, He did. She unlocked the cuffs and told me I should go. I did! I haven't heard from her since. My question is, should I try to contact her? She is still leagally married. And given my temperment, Though I maybe a submissive slave to a woman. To man, it's a different ballgame. I do miss her. Any advise?

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RE: Vanilla Personals and Femdom - 2/13/2010 1:42:38 PM

StrongSpirit

Posts: 575
Joined: 4/10/2005
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I always advise people to communicate. I have never heard of any dominant, male or female, to say "I was going to contact you, but because you called me I have decided to leave and never see you again."

If their is any chance of your relationship continuing, then calling (and acting appropriately submissive, not aggressive), will only raise your chances, not hurt them. If the relationship is already dead, then calling might confirm it - but that is effect, not cause.

(in reply to beowulf1234)

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RE: Vanilla Personals and Femdom - 2/13/2010 2:04:51 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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Ok, there are many issues in this. Sounds like she was willing to explore and probably the prospect of a nice guy wanting to serve her was a breath of fresh air after an abusive relationship.The fact that you met her on a vanilla site doesn't surprise me as I and others have met plenty of kinky people there.

I'm wondering how her ex got in. Does he still have the keys? Things don't seem finished between them. That isn't good for you, especially if you are falling head over heals with her.

I'm going to say that it is a mix of her being ashamed of having someone who knows her well seeing her involved in kink as a Dominant woman as well as probably feeling awful of having put you in that situation.

I'd say that unless you like a whole lot of drama in your life, walk away and if she ever calls you back, here what she has to say but be cautious.

- LA

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to StrongSpirit)

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RE: Vanilla Personals and Femdom - 2/13/2010 2:06:56 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

If their is any chance of your relationship continuing, then calling (and acting appropriately submissive, not aggressive), will only raise your chances, not hurt them. If the relationship is already dead, then calling might confirm it - but that is effect, not cause.

I'd recommend an email as it puts her less on the spot. But one email, only to tell her that you want to be there for her but will give her space.

That said, use your instinct and think long and hard before you do.

- LA

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to StrongSpirit)

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RE: Vanilla Personals and Femdom - 2/13/2010 4:18:40 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
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She obviously can't keep herself safe, or you. You both could have been killed. You would give her another chance, after that? Get some self-esteem, man!

Take this as a cheap-at-the-price lesson, and learn from it. You need to be more careful, to keep yourself safe in the future. If there's a next time, it could be the last day of your life.

You can't rescue her. But you can save yourself.

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RE: Vanilla Personals and Femdom - 2/13/2010 4:36:43 PM

hardbodysub

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Joined: 8/7/2005
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You said she was separated. Then you say that she is still legally married. Are you implying that she is not legally separated? Or are you just saying that she is legally separated, but not divorced? There is a big difference between legally separated but not yet divorced and not even legally separated.

If she's not at least legally separated, I'd stay the heck away. It's going to cause nothing but trouble for both of you.

(in reply to beowulf1234)

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RE: Vanilla Personals and Femdom - 2/13/2010 4:48:50 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
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The final paragraph sounds like a novel. Next time ask her to lock the door or meet in a motel.

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RE: Vanilla Personals and Femdom - 2/13/2010 7:57:37 PM

Kaiel

Posts: 748
Joined: 4/17/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

The final paragraph sounds like a novel. Next time ask her to lock the door or meet in a motel.

Hell, next time come see Me, My husband will nicely watch.... and be quiet :)...

just kidding... OP be safe... email her or call and see whats going on... Don't get in the middle of the marital issues, it will just make a bad situation for you!

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RE: Vanilla Personals and Femdom - 2/27/2010 3:17:19 PM

Stilletta

Posts: 9
Joined: 2/27/2010
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I am a romantic at heart I say try to get her back if you love her and can commit yourself to her. Stay alone and pure until she returns, don't settle for what you don't want. While you are waiting take some spelling and grammar classes. Dont look for an owner on a vanilla site thats kind of stupid to begin with.

(in reply to Kaiel)

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RE: Vanilla Personals and Femdom - 2/27/2010 4:50:07 PM

GraciousLady

Posts: 529
Joined: 7/7/2009
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I'm so very sorry you've met your dream Mistress and she is still in another relationship. Until she is through with it there can be no hope for a peaceful, secure position in her household. I do not advise you get tangled up in her drama but keep losely in touch. Perhaps in the future when she has finished with all legal and emotional ties the two of you will be in a better position to continue. Also be aware if she keeps the relationship alive with her husband. Some people like fighting and drama.

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RE: Vanilla Personals and Femdom - 2/27/2010 7:31:12 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

You said she was separated. Then you say that she is still legally married. Are you implying that she is not legally separated? Or are you just saying that she is legally separated, but not divorced? There is a big difference between legally separated but not yet divorced and not even legally separated.

If she's not at least legally separated, I'd stay the heck away. It's going to cause nothing but trouble for both of you.

Not all states have "legal separation." New Jersey, where the OP lives, doesn't. However, if they have separate residences, they are separated. Of course, a lot depends on how long she has been separated and whether or not anyone has filed for divorce or plans to. While many people talk about how expensive divorce is, it really isn't unless the couple is going to battle over every little possession. On the other hand, who files can be a strategic move depending on the income of the parties. If one party does not make a great deal of money, it is in their best interest to let the other person file in order to qualify for a legal aid attorney. In the state of New Jersey, a person can not get legal aid to file for divorce. They are only entitled if the other party files first.

Some people will live separately for years without filing for divorce. They move on with their lives and essentially all marital property is agreeably divided.

To the OP,

The husband's ability to simply walk into the house would be of concern, however, if it is the marital home, it could be something that is going to continue to occur. I do believe that the woman was likely quite embarassed to have him walk in (isn't it difficult to properly massage her feet while handcuffed?).

Sending an email letting her know you are still interested and would like to talk will let her know that you aren't entirely put off by what happened. Simply let her know that even though she still has some stuff going on, at the very least you would like to be her friend. If her husband has a history of smacking her around, there is a good chance that she is trying to maintain the peace and her safety.

For those who commented on it being "foolish" to look for a kinky woman on a vanilla site...well you obviously know not to listen to them based on the success you had with the responses to your ad.

(in reply to hardbodysub)

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