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RE: What happens if . . . - 2/17/2010 5:52:59 PM   
Andalusite


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Unless neither of them gets any physical pleasure whatsoever from the play in question, it becomes a feedback loop, as VC mentioned. Generally speaking, that combination has been *very* compatible, in my experience.

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RE: What happens if . . . - 2/17/2010 5:57:11 PM   
Tantriqu


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Love the equation! But where's the value of lubricated fluid resistance being inversely proportional to the coefficient of friction?

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RE: What happens if . . . - 2/17/2010 5:58:48 PM   
VaguelyCurious


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantriqu

Love the equation! But where's the value of lubricated fluid resistance being inversely proportional to the coefficient of friction?


Oh, baby! Keep talking like that...


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RE: What happens if . . . - 2/17/2010 6:34:42 PM   
Rochsub2009


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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

It struck me recently that, though 'do-me-ism' amongst subs is an oft-mentioned annoyance for Dommes, perhaps some subs go too far the other way.  You're watching him for the effect you're having on him doing x, y or z to him - but he doesn't care about x, y or z - he's only watching you to see what effect your doing x, y or z is having on you.



i hate to digress from all of the discussion of BDSM equations (BTW, i don't remember learning those equations in engineering school), but i'd like to comment on the OP if i might.

i have DEFINITELY experienced what you described.

i used to serve a Domme who was both a pro-Domme and a lifestyle Domme.  However, in my opinion, She was more of a pro-Domme than a lifestyle Domme (although She claimed to be primarily lifestyle).  Because She spent much of Her time as a pro-Domme, She often brought pro-Domme ideas into our non-pro play time.  She would usually ask me how i wanted the session to go, and then during the session She seemed to be more interested in my pleasure than Her own.

Pro-Dommes have to cater to their customers' desires if they want them to become repeat customers.  However, since i am a lifestyle sub, i didn't like the idea that my Domme was constantly catering to my needs, rather than having me cater to hers.  This dynamic ultimately led to the demise of our relationship.

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RE: What happens if . . . - 2/17/2010 6:42:10 PM   
Andalusite


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Hmm, I'm not a pro-Domme, and have no interest whatsoever in accepting money for it. While I don't usually ask my playpartner or previous bottoms/submissives/switches I've been involved with what they wanted to do, I'm *definitely* open to suggestions. I'm pretty pheremone/reaction driven, no matter which side of the kneel/whip I'm on. So, moans, screams, whimpers, jerking around, shuddering, and getting turned on are more important to me when I'm topping or dominating someone than the specific toy I'm using on them. So far, I've never had any difficulty in *getting* those reactions out of someone I was in a relationship with (if they were open to me tying them up and thwacking them, of course). I don't call it domination, though, unless we had an explicit D/s dynamic.

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RE: What happens if . . . - 2/17/2010 6:44:49 PM   
VaguelyCurious


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite
So, moans, screams, whimpers, jerking around, shuddering, and getting turned on are more important to me when I'm topping or dominating someone than the specific toy I'm using on them.


THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS.
This.


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RE: What happens if . . . - 2/17/2010 6:52:30 PM   
PeonForHer


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009However, since i am a lifestyle sub, i didn't like the idea that my Domme was constantly catering to my needs, rather than having me cater to hers.  This dynamic ultimately led to the demise of our relationship.


That's it, Rochsub.  I live in holy terror of just that.  I can't imagine anything more depressing right now than discovering some way into a relationship that a femdom partner was 'catering to my needs'.

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RE: What happens if . . . - 2/17/2010 6:54:33 PM   
PeonForHer


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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite
So, moans, screams, whimpers, jerking around, shuddering, and getting turned on are more important to me when I'm topping or dominating someone than the specific toy I'm using on them.


THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS.
This.


Yep, works for me, too.    OK, so it might have more to do with the look on her face than the implement she's using but, who cares?


< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 2/17/2010 6:55:24 PM >


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RE: What happens if . . . - 2/17/2010 6:58:11 PM   
Rochsub2009


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite

While I don't usually ask my playpartner or previous bottoms/submissives/switches I've been involved with what they wanted to do, I'm *definitely* open to suggestions. I'm pretty pheremone/reaction driven, no matter which side of the kneel/whip I'm on. So, moans, screams, whimpers, jerking around, shuddering, and getting turned on are more important to me when I'm topping or dominating someone than the specific toy I'm using on them.



i agree.  Reaction is definitely an important part of good play.  But being "reaction driven" is very different from constantly asking a sub "what do you want me to do to you now?"  The latter makes for some very lame play.

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RE: What happens if . . . - 2/17/2010 7:06:14 PM   
VaguelyCurious


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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite
So, moans, screams, whimpers, jerking around, shuddering, and getting turned on are more important to me when I'm topping or dominating someone than the specific toy I'm using on them.


THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS.
This.


Yep, works for me, too.    OK, so it might have more to do with the look on her face than the implement she's using but, who cares?



See? Feedback loop!


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RE: What happens if . . . - 2/17/2010 7:06:24 PM   
Andalusite


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Thanks, VC. There have been lots of times, especially at home, with someone I'm dating, but occasionally in more casual play, where we had pretty much wrapped things up and were more in the aftercare phase. Then, one of us would say or do something that set the other one off, and we'd start playing for another hour or so! Lots of fun.

Oh, absolutely, Rochsub! I misunderstood what you were getting at there. That sounds rather insecure on her part. I can't imagine most men finding that a hot approach in a pro-Domme, since it makes her sound at the very least unimaginative and uncreative. I've done some casual play on both sides of the whip, and have *never* had a scene go like that, even when I was explicitly topping to orders or we had agreed to do something specific (ie. suspension bondage, caning, wrestling, needleplay) for that particular scene.

Peon, I don't see anything wrong with "catering to" a submissive or bottom's fantasies or indulging them occasionally in something they enjoy, as long as I don't actively *dislike* it. Obviously, if that's what's happening the vast majority of the time, the D/s isn't going in the direction that matches the label the people involved are using, but some give-and-take is normal.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 2/17/2010 7:08:58 PM >

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RE: What happens if . . . - 2/17/2010 7:24:47 PM   
LadyAngelika


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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite
So, moans, screams, whimpers, jerking around, shuddering, and getting turned on are more important to me when I'm topping or dominating someone than the specific toy I'm using on them.


THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS.
This.



VC, you are leaving a little puddle, sweetie ;-)

- LA


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RE: What happens if . . . - 2/17/2010 7:26:13 PM   
VaguelyCurious


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite
So, moans, screams, whimpers, jerking around, shuddering, and getting turned on are more important to me when I'm topping or dominating someone than the specific toy I'm using on them.


THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS.
This.



VC, you are leaving a little puddle, sweetie ;-)

- LA



And?!
:P


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RE: What happens if . . . - 2/17/2010 7:28:48 PM   
LadyAngelika


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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009However, since i am a lifestyle sub, i didn't like the idea that my Domme was constantly catering to my needs, rather than having me cater to hers.  This dynamic ultimately led to the demise of our relationship.


That's it, Rochsub.  I live in holy terror of just that.  I can't imagine anything more depressing right now than discovering some way into a relationship that a femdom partner was 'catering to my needs'.


I can totally see how that can happen. I think that some people probably manage to balance it and compartmentalize it well, but my instincts tell me that they are probably the exception.

One of the reasons that I'm a dominant is that I like to be in control of things. That said, when I ask a boy what he likes and doesn't like, I don't want him resisting thinking that I'm trying to cater to his needs. What I'm doing is gathering information in order to make informed choices. Simply.

- LA



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RE: What happens if . . . - 2/17/2010 9:02:32 PM   
Rochsub2009


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

....when I ask a boy what he likes and doesn't like, I don't want him resisting thinking that I'm trying to cater to his needs. What I'm doing is gathering information in order to make informed choices.



And that is a good thing.  In my opinion, the most effective domination occurs when a Dom/Domme truly understands what is going on in their sub's head, and then uses that knowledge to strengthen their control.  Even utilizing the acquired knowledge of the sub's desires as an occasional reward is a great practice (we subs like rewards too). 

But catering to a sub like a pro-Domme is a bad thing.  Being catered to by a Domme probably makes me feel the same way that you would feel "dominating" a bottom who came to you with a pre-scripted scene that he wanted you to act out verbatim. 

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RE: What happens if . . . - 2/18/2010 2:29:32 AM   
shallowdeep


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quote:

ORIGINAL: velt
Aren't Sd(n) and Ss(n) in the wrong places in the diagram? ... making sure the output would be unbounded was half the fun, of course.

Unstable systems can indeed be amusing. And yes, it does look like I reversed the output labels. Sorry about that. I need to remind myself to take more time with serious analysis problems like this… I wonder if VC's love can survive this.

I would fix it, but I came up with a modified system I like better (see below). Some of the states may not have been well defined in the last one, leading to some issues with what differentiates initial stimulation versus output stimulation and such. The input and output are all defined in terms of the participants' energy now and the network includes adjustable feedback gains to allow for Lady Angelika's "adaptation." I'm not touching the potential nonlinearity of that; there's no sense throwing out perfectly good analysis tools simply because reality isn't doing a good job living up to the model. :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
You don't hit them once and then just stop, after all, do you?

Actually, if you're trying to characterize a system, hitting it with an impulse is often what you do. Really. Fortunately velt set things up in the discrete domain so you can use a finite Kronecker Delta; if it was continuous, you'd need to deliver a blow with infinite intensity in an infinitesimal amount of time to get the Dirac version. Sounds painful.

quote:

Aaaand incidentally, Si is going to increase with every stroke-although that won't affect the end value, it should affect the rate of convergence, right?

Technically yes, but it actually sort of depends on the level of system instability. If the loop gain is much higher than one, the impact of later impacts (sorry) really isn't that significant: e.g. If you have a gain of 10, by the third blow you'd need to be hitting 1000 times harder than the initial stroke just to double the system's rate of divergence.

While this was mostly for amusement, it is actually how I tend to think about things, so I have been thinking. I can't contribute much, but here's an attempt to offset my derailment:

This all reminded me a bit of a podcast I listened to a few months ago that termed play a "Reciprocal Energy Loop." You can listen to it here if you want – the relevant part starts at about 39:10. Basically, it was talking about the need to provide some sort of feedback to keep things interesting and prevent an 'energy suck' from emerging. In the hypothetical situation of the OP, there really isn't necessarily a mismatch in potential interests (i.e. the expressivity and perceptivity functions could still align fairly well) – all that's lacking is some kickstart to get the feedback going. Providing someone can take the initiative to get that started, I think it could work out. One of the sub guys in the interview talked about how he's "manipulative" in the sense that he's "energetically seducing you in a way." I know some posters here (Akasha comes to mind) like to talk about how being a good bottom takes work. If you have an interest in seeing a woman enjoy dominance, I see a need to try to figure out what she enjoys and then how to press those buttons. Even if it doesn't immediately do it for you, there's probably a way to get the right energy cascade started. I don't see that sort of 'manipulation' as being subversive to the dynamic, but rather helping it.

Of course I'm not a mistress and I'm very, very far from an expert… so take all the above with a big boulder of salt.

Back to engineering...


Edited to add that the last item in the key should be K_SFB, not K_DFB

Attachment (1)

< Message edited by shallowdeep -- 2/18/2010 2:33:12 AM >

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RE: What happens if . . . - 2/18/2010 2:53:24 AM   
PeonForHer


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Where can I buy a Reciprocal Feedback Loop?   They sound wicked.  Also, I'd like a Kronecker Delta or two - but I don't want one of the cheap finite ones you mentioned. 

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RE: What happens if . . . - 2/18/2010 3:59:43 AM   
VaguelyCurious


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quote:

ORIGINAL: shallowdeep

Unstable systems can indeed be amusing. And yes, it does look like I reversed the output labels. Sorry about that. I need to remind myself to take more time with serious analysis problems like this… I wonder if VC's love can survive this.


Don't worry, my darling Shallowdeep; my love is strong and enduring. I can forgive mistakes, and the new diagram only enhanced my feelings for you.

Forever Yours,

VC
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
*smooch*



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RE: What happens if . . . - 2/18/2010 7:24:09 PM   
Tantriqu


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So, the sight of a hot hard cop stripping, kneeling and begging me, I become aroused, he senses it, he becomes erect. I bind him, blindfold him, do THINGS to him. he is silent until I do THAT thing to him and he makes THAT noise which pushes Me past the point of no return and he begs to do THIS and I bear down and come like a bull.


A circuit diagram where his resistance is measured in OHHHHHHHHHhhhhhms, or where his tongue is my combination fluid velocimeter and wave/pulse penetrometer are possible descriptors, but how 'bout this?

Adding the Zeeman effect of the interaction energy plus the magnetic dipole moment arising from the electronic orbital angular momentum,
i.e., magnetic moment of electron-spin g-spot factor, where the potential energy E is the eigenstate as the sum of the electronic, vibrational, rotational, nuclear and translational components.
ergo, to paraphrase Einstein, E = I come like a bull


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