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approching a Domme, Mister, Mistress on-line - 3/18/2004 9:31:30 PM   
knees2you


Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline 		how would you all as subs approach someone {Master, Mistress, Domme} on-line if you where interested in meeting them? when do you know that they are not for real?
i have my own ideas, but i am interested in your thoughts~~~~
sincerely, knees2you

quote~ if a snake bites before it is charmed, there is no profit for the charmer.
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RE: approching a Domme, Mister, Mistress on-line - 3/18/2004 9:46:13 PM   
MistressKiss


Posts: 295
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		For me, it is very important to get to know the person a bit before even thinking about them as a potential Domme, Master, or Mistress. I would not suggest that you think of a person as a Dominant until you think of him or her as a friend first. Since trust is critically important in our lifestyle, would you really trust a person you know nothing about, or would you more likely place your trust in a friend?

Notice the comments that he or she makes in a chat room. Does the person have a similar sense of humor as yours? Do you have similar interests? Start by chatting with the person within the room itself. After you have established that you are attracted, politely ask within the room if you could pm the person you are interested in and wait for a reply. If you do not get a reply, I would wait. Be respectful first and foremost.

Once you are in pm, be honest. Mention that you have enjoyed getting to know him or her in the room and that you respect him or her as a Dominant. (You would not pm anyone you don't respect, right?) Then, continue to communicate in this manner for a while. Don't rush things...and don't push...and don't start kneeling in the pm box the first day.

Don't be in a hurry to progress. It is so much better to take some time in choosing the right partner than picking up the pieces after playing with the wrong one.

Best wishes in your quest.




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_____________________________

"I assure you, Your Honor, I don't have to practice...I'm very good at them..."
(The Marquis de Sade at one of his trials for the sexual perversities he practiced)

(in reply to knees2you)
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RE: approching a Domme, Mister, Mistress on-line - 3/18/2004 10:29:24 PM   
darbyib6ub9


Posts: 18
Joined: 3/7/2004
Status: offline 		if you ask for phone contact and the Dom/Domme refuse, I usually see that as a red flag.
Darby

(in reply to MistressKiss)
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RE: approching a Domme, Mister, Mistress on-line - 3/19/2004 2:44:21 AM   
OkieImplant


Posts: 1
Joined: 3/19/2004
Status: offline 		I agree with the contact information, but I think it goes further than that.

It seems that most of us that are TRULY in this lifestyle have very little to hide about themselves. If when talking or writing to someone they seem to evade certain questions or if you are on the phone every answer requires a long pause (as if they need to make something up) that should be a red flag also.

Also, any discussion of money except that a DOM would be willing or unwilling to provide for a sub.

I think another big one is after talking and deciding to meet, they try to steer you towards meeting at hotels or some such rather than letting you see their homes. I was DOM to a sub a few years back who during her search for a DOM allowed herself to be talked into meeting at a hotel and then never even heard from the DOM again.

Lastly, I would say NEVER to trust someone who will never give a real land-line phone number. Cell phone numbers are too easy to change and with the new pay-by-the-use cell phones don't even require their personal information to get a phone now.

These are a few things I have heard play DOM's talk about at some local gatherings, so I thought I'd pass them along.

(in reply to darbyib6ub9)
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RE: approching a Domme, Mister, Mistress on-line - 3/19/2004 5:25:38 AM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OkieImplant


Lastly, I would say NEVER to trust someone who will never give a real land-line phone number. Cell phone numbers are too easy to change and with the new pay-by-the-use cell phones don't even require their personal information to get a phone now.



I know a LOT of people who don't have land lines anymore. Just cell service and cable for internet. People in and out of the lifestyle. They are honorable people who do not initiate contact under false pretenses. It just doesn't make sense to them to pay for two phones.

I can't say that I agree with this particular criterion.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to OkieImplant)
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RE: approching a Domme, Mister, Mistress on-line - 3/19/2004 6:10:30 AM   
londonswitch


Posts: 77
Joined: 3/1/2004
Status: offline 		Yes, I concur re: landlines. I just don't need one. My mobile package is so good it has made landlinesredundant for me for the last 4 years. Best, nadine

(in reply to MizSuz)
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RE: approching a Domme, Mister, Mistress on-line - 3/19/2004 7:03:48 AM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		Another red flag would be if they won't send you a pic, or get on cam for you.

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to knees2you)
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RE: approching a Domme, Mister, Mistress on-line - 3/19/2004 7:07:50 AM   
seattleminx


Posts: 46
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Seattle, WA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: knees2you

how would you all as subs approach someone {Master, Mistress, Domme} on-line if you where interested in meeting them? when do you know that they are not for real?
i have my own ideas, but i am interested in your thoughts~~~~



I agree for the most part with what everyone has said so far. Ask to meet them in real life, nothing fancy.. a coffee shop would do. (yeah, you can tell I'm from Seattle with the coffee reference, eh?) It may take some time to juggle schedules, but they should be amenable to this without hesitation.

(in reply to knees2you)
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RE: approching a Domme, Mister, Mistress on-line - 3/19/2004 9:07:52 AM   
MistressKiss


Posts: 295
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub

Another red flag would be if they won't send you a pic, or get on cam for you.


I agree with the picture part, but I just flatly refuse to do "cam". I just think it's so...silly! (laughs) It's fun for a quick hi, and I can see value in it when you are a submissive and you have it on for your Master/Mistress...but from the get go? I would not ask and wouldn't do. HA...maybe it's too KINKY for me...giggles

_____________________________

"I assure you, Your Honor, I don't have to practice...I'm very good at them..."
(The Marquis de Sade at one of his trials for the sexual perversities he practiced)

(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: approching a Domme, Mister, Mistress on-line - 3/19/2004 9:13:16 AM   
EStrict


Posts: 729
Joined: 1/11/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Another red flag would be if they won't send you a pic, or get on cam for you.


Well I guess I would be redflag material. I don't have a cam, and though I have put pictures online from time to time, none have my face in them. I have always hated having my picture taken and even my mother only has one pic of me for every 20 of any of her other children. My father STILL hasn't forgiven me for never getting a graduation photo and that was over 20 years ago. Yet, even with that, I am one of the most open, honest, reliable people around according to a lot of the people who know me RL.

Oh well.

_____________________________

Sandy

Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway...

(in reply to seattleminx)
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RE: approching a Domme, Mister, Mistress on-line - 3/19/2004 5:02:46 PM   
iwillserveu


Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		knees2you,

I got a weird one. If the potential Mistress is under 30 alarm bells sound. Although the line is fuzzy, I wonder if they really know what they want. (Some 29 year olds will and some 31 year olds won't; the alarms just mean closer scrutiny must be paid.)

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to knees2you)
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RE: approching a Domme, Mister, Mistress on-line - 7/13/2005 2:50:45 AM   
lonewolf05


Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		since "i" am straight vanilla, i just ...type, like i talk to someone at kmart. i do not change modes. i have NO other mode. i do not know submissive talk from girl talk.
to me personally, it is all plastic pretense and i do not, can not, will not, subscribe to it.

and actually, many Dommes have found it very refreshing. but yeah, a few get uppity holier than thou. but those kind i don't wanna talk to anyway. i wouldn't put up with em for 5 minutes in real time.
probably wouldn't put with ME either...........roflmao.


but yeah. just MY style. straight from the hip, no b.s. and as open as i can get. ask anything, but be warned ya may not like my answer. i promise nothing. i tend to be quite openly brash and too harsh. but i am a no nonesense kinda guy. don't feed ME b.s. and i won't do it to YOU either.

take care.
the wolf


_____________________________

"there is no gravity, life sucks!"


(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 12
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