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RE: should her submission be taken for granted - 2/16/2010 8:52:24 PM

osf

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy
Sure, but the Dominant should also understand that submission isn't one-size-fits-all and her submission may not look like someone else's. osf, you know damn well that there isn't one definition of "submissive." A Dominant can take it for granted that she identifies as submissive, but what exactly that means to her he can't take for granted.

in my own thinking i don't even think submissive or slave but obedience

Then why not ask "if she comes to the relationship claiming to be obedient can the dominant take it for granted she is?"

hey, it's late

i can't be cleaver all the time

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RE: should her submission be taken for granted - 2/16/2010 9:24:10 PM

Whiplashsmile4

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy
Sure, but the Dominant should also understand that submission isn't one-size-fits-all and her submission may not look like someone else's. osf, you know damn well that there isn't one definition of "submissive." A Dominant can take it for granted that she identifies as submissive, but what exactly that means to her he can't take for granted.

Will somebody give this girl some NZ points for this response. :-)

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RE: should her submission be taken for granted - 2/17/2010 6:16:17 AM

lucylucy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy
Sure, but the Dominant should also understand that submission isn't one-size-fits-all and her submission may not look like someone else's. osf, you know damn well that there isn't one definition of "submissive." A Dominant can take it for granted that she identifies as submissive, but what exactly that means to her he can't take for granted.

Will somebody give this girl some NZ points for this response. :-)

Oh, yay--NZ points by proxy! Or maybe they are whiplash points? That sounds pretty hot, actually.

Thanks!

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RE: should her submission be taken for granted - 2/17/2010 7:46:17 AM

DesFIP

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy
Sure, but the Dominant should also understand that submission isn't one-size-fits-all and her submission may not look like someone else's. osf, you know damn well that there isn't one definition of "submissive." A Dominant can take it for granted that she identifies as submissive, but what exactly that means to her he can't take for granted.

in my own thinking i don't even think submissive or slave but obedience

Then why not ask "if she comes to the relationship claiming to be obedient can the dominant take it for granted she is?"

Especially because not all submissives are obedience wired. Just because you want obedience and not service doesn't mean that someone who is focused on serving but not being ordered around isn't submissive. Or someone who detests getting ordered but loves pleasing people. Or is into emotional transparency as her core drive for submission.

By assuming that all submissives are obedience wired you are going to meet all kinds of people who aren't compatible with you. So ask first and don't waste their time.

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RE: should her submission be taken for granted - 2/17/2010 7:49:42 AM

SimplyMichael

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If she is willing to be taken for granted, I will let someone else take her.

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RE: should her submission be taken for granted - 2/17/2010 7:54:33 AM

Acer49

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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

if she comes to the relationship claiming to be submissive/slave can the dominant take it for granted she is?

Everyone has their own definition for things, best one explain it first. Never assume anything

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RE: should her submission be taken for granted - 2/17/2010 9:48:26 AM

sunshinemiss

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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Where do you come up with these ridiculous questions, osf?

i was bored

Read a book.

And then come up with more interesting questions. Every question I recall seeing from you is ALWAYS answered "well, it depends." Do you ever actually go one step further than yes/no/it depends questions?

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RE: should her submission be taken for granted - 2/17/2010 10:30:51 AM

Icarys

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy
Sure, but the Dominant should also understand that submission isn't one-size-fits-all and her submission may not look like someone else's. osf, you know damn well that there isn't one definition of "submissive." A Dominant can take it for granted that she identifies as submissive, but what exactly that means to her he can't take for granted.

in my own thinking i don't even think submissive or slave but obedience

Then why not ask "if she comes to the relationship claiming to be obedient can the dominant take it for granted she is?"

Especially because not all submissives are obedience wired. Just because you want obedience and not service doesn't mean that someone who is focused on serving but not being ordered around isn't submissive. Or someone who detests getting ordered but loves pleasing people. Or is into emotional transparency as her core drive for submission.

By assuming that all submissives are obedience wired you are going to meet all kinds of people who aren't compatible with you. So ask first and don't waste their time.

sub⋅mis⋅sive–adjective 1. inclined or ready to submit; unresistingly or humbly obedient: submissive servants. 2. marked by or indicating submission: a submissive reply.
Synonyms:
1. tractable, compliant, pliant, amenable. 2. passive, resigned, patient, docile, tame, subdued.

Antonyms:
1. rebellious, disobedient.

I like number one.

I will agree there are different levels of submissiveness so it's probably not good to judge each other as less or more because of our own standards..That goes for both sides.

< Message edited by Icarys -- 2/17/2010 10:36:06 AM >

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RE: should her submission be taken for granted - 2/17/2010 10:36:03 AM

NihilusZero

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"Subsmissive" , as a descriptor, carries a hell of a lot of ambiguity because it related an incomplete surrender...leaving which areas it is incomplete in (either by design or inadvertently) a guess without considerable pre-discussion.

Slave, on the other hand, should be substantially clearer with the motivation to obey and the concerted effort put into doing it being the primary factor.

My expectations of a partner based on how they would define themselves would differ.

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RE: should her submission be taken for granted - 2/17/2010 10:40:57 AM

MasterSlaveLA

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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

if she comes to the relationship claiming to be submissive/slave can the dominant take it for granted she is?

The "taken for granted" part screws up the question... what's essentially being asked here is:

"If a person has labeled themselves a sub/slave, can you assume they are?"

Answer: Yes, in THEIR mind, but maybe not in YOUR mind, as everyone has their own ideas and expectations.

< Message edited by MasterSlaveLA -- 2/17/2010 10:42:14 AM >

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RE: should her submission be taken for granted - 2/17/2010 1:01:51 PM

Justme696

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quote:

if she comes to the relationship claiming to be submissive/slave can the dominant take it for granted she is?

I never take a person for granted..but her role..yes.
SHe picked it..as I did mine in the relation.

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RE: should her submission be taken for granted - 2/17/2010 1:15:55 PM

OriginallyFromLA

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Domliness: The abillity to compel someone into doing something they wanted to do anyway.

Subliness: The abillity to compel someone into thinking they are making you do something you wanted to do anyway.

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RE: should her submission be taken for granted - 2/17/2010 1:55:11 PM

redwoodgirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OriginallyFromLA

Domliness: The abillity to compel someone into doing something they wanted to do anyway.

Subliness: The abillity to compel someone into thinking they are making you do something you wanted to do anyway.

Nice one LA
I like it

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RE: should her submission be taken for granted - 2/17/2010 2:50:47 PM

RCdc

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quote:

ORIGINAL: redwoodgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: OriginallyFromLA

Domliness: The abillity to compel someone into doing something they wanted to do anyway.

Subliness: The abillity to compel someone into thinking they are making you do something you wanted to do anyway.

Nice one LA
I like it

I don't but meh.
Domination and submission isn't just about doing what you (generic) want...

the.dark.

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RE: should her submission be taken for granted - 2/17/2010 3:15:51 PM

texangael

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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

if she comes to the relationship claiming to be submissive/slave can the dominant take it for granted she is?

The dominant can do as he pleases.

The submissive can do likewise....and will if she's taken for granted.

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RE: should her submission be taken for granted - 2/17/2010 3:20:09 PM

Falkenstein

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OriginallyFromLA

Domliness: The abillity to compel someone into doing something they wanted to do anyway.

Subliness: The abillity to compel someone into thinking they are making you do something you wanted to do anyway.

Originally from LA

Many , many kudos for this mot d'esprit. Oscar Wilde would not have said it better!

Currently not in LA

Henry

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RE: should her submission be taken for granted - 2/17/2010 3:30:52 PM

CalifChick

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

if she comes to the relationship claiming to be submissive/slave can the dominant take it for granted she is?

The "taken for granted" part screws up the question... what's essentially being asked here is:

"If a person has labeled themselves a sub/slave, can you assume they are?"

Answer: Yes, in THEIR mind, but maybe not in YOUR mind, as everyone has their own ideas and expectations.

This. In spades. What I find fascinating is the number of people that misread the OP's statement, even though it was so short. He never said anything about taking THE GIRL for granted.

Cali

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RE: should her submission be taken for granted - 2/17/2010 3:38:24 PM

Falkenstein

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The Man from LA gave you the best possible answer, but I wonder about the question. Why should you take a person or what she says about her for granted? or assume that her self-description is right? (in assume, the three first letters are IMnHO the key ones).

Christopher Columbus wanted to discover a faster route to China. If he had taken it for granted, he would have missed all the beauty (and bounty) of the Americas. A woman is like a new continent (and NOT like a virgin island, even if she is virgin), do not take anything for granted, admire the mervels offered to you and do not slaughter the locals

Be seeing you

Henry

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RE: should her submission be taken for granted - 2/17/2010 3:43:54 PM

slavefinder30

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There are many types of submissives in the real world. It is unlikely that a person claiming to be submissive is secretly trying to decieve you. That being said a sub with a Bratty persona, or a SAM (smart assed masochist) might very well act up to purposefully get themselves in trouble.

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RE: should her submission be taken for granted - 2/17/2010 3:58:56 PM

juliaoceania

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quote:

I will agree there are different levels of submissiveness so it's probably not good to judge each other as less or more because of our own standards..That goes for both sides.

Perhaps this was a poor choice of wording on your part, by levels did you mean that being "obedient" is a deeper, better, more profound part of being submissive than being tractable, passive, calm, and tame.. or are they simply different types of cookies?

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