RE: A legend returns ... (Full Version)

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heartcream -> RE: A legend returns ... (2/17/2010 6:35:12 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

He is what he is.


Yeah a legend. If he can find a woman who digs him that is a good thing, who knows more mysterious things have happened.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: A legend returns ... (2/17/2010 6:36:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved


quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

You said before that nobody had made any points that in your opinion effectively refuted your beliefs so far on this thread.

I haven't seen anyone try this tack, so I'm going to:

Your belief is that casual BDSM reduces your capacity for love, right?

Well I don't know what sort (if any) of experiences you have had with casual BDSM, but for me engaging in casual BDSM is something which constantly surprises me with my own capacity for human emotion.

The amount of care and concern I feel for someone who has chosen to place themselves in my care is  amazing; the idea that all play with a partner I am not in love with must be soul-less and disconnected simply does not ring true with me.

I am sure that these feelings will be massively amplified when I play with someone I am in  love with, but I don't feel for one second that BDSM is reducing my ability to care for and interact emotionally with others.

That's my tuppence; I don't know if you will respond to this (your prerogative either way) but I thought that I would try and explain my feelings just in case.



You speak of your own feelings, but not of the feelings of the people you've been with.

Being self-absorbed is another characteristic of casual players.

As for why I believe casual bdsm to be emotionally abusive, I refer you to my essay: "Casual BDSM and Emotional Abuse: The Case for Love" in my profile.


I got quite a way through your profile before I gave up-I don't think I can face the essay at this time of night.

Fair cop that I didn't mention the feelings of my partners, but that is not because I'm self absorbed-it's because I don't feel I can speak for others.



stella41b -> RE: A legend returns ... (2/17/2010 6:36:55 PM)

But just what IS your position? What is the logical basis for your position? I've gone through this entire thread and your profile and I cannot find one.

You write about love, but I'm wondering whether you actually understand what the word itself means.

Living in itself is all about forming relationships, different relationships, all of which are formed of different transactions, interactions, rituals, strokes, payoffs and so forth.

Superficially we all crave attention, beyond that we all crave acceptance, understanding, empathy, friendship, and love. Some people differentiate between positive attention and negative attention, and will adjust their behaviour and ways of interacting with others so that they get mainly positive attention. Others don't, and for them negative attention is just as good as getting positive attention.

The thing is relationship psychology is so vast that you cannot generalize and differentiate between long term attention and casual attention. You cannot generalize and say that short term, casual attention is emotionally damaging unless you are completely ignorant of what a human being actually is and what life is actually all about.

The only basis I can see is a meatloaf of generalizations cobbled together in a never-ending whine to say you are right and everyone else is wrong.

I could engage you on this but I would have to first learn to walk on my hands and teach my ass to speak. And I'm just not prepared to do that.




lusciouslips19 -> RE: A legend returns ... (2/17/2010 6:37:16 PM)

nm



BLoved -> RE: A legend returns ... (2/17/2010 6:38:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss
Bob - you respond to that but not my well thought out responses? You didn't show me a post either that I requested. You, Sir, are merely a shit stirrer.

Good luck,
sunshine


Compare post 88 with 95, 99 and 116.



Level -> RE: A legend returns ... (2/17/2010 6:38:34 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65


quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

FR

Hmm, never mind, I found the person, and they've recently come back, so.


OMG you aren't talking about meeeee are you?


Nooo, not you!



domiguy -> RE: A legend returns ... (2/17/2010 6:39:38 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: heartcream


quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

He is what he is.


Yeah a legend. If he can find a woman who digs him that is a good thing, who knows more mysterious things have happened.


I'm kind of icky and some people like me. Or are they just humoring me?



Level -> RE: A legend returns ... (2/17/2010 6:39:51 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level


quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy


quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

I got a funny feeling caitlin will never come back, but I hope I'm wrong. Piss doll, haven't thought about her in a long time.

Damn, now I'm thinking of another woman, can't place her name; she left and came back at the drop of a hat, was wild as fuck, a little off.


Sdfemdom4cock?

That bitch is crazy. she never like the Cos.


Me, Jo, and the director's cut of Dances with Wolves. It'd be a beautiful thing. [:D]


That would be completely Non-consensual and I am now emotionally damaged just from imagining a Director's cut of DwW. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. [:'(]

You both missed me while I was gone...you know you did. Smooches



Hey beautiful [;)]



BLoved -> RE: A legend returns ... (2/17/2010 6:42:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet
~FR~  After the first page and a half, then I just had to quit.

...

lovingpet 


You jump to a lot of conclusions for having read so little.



BLoved -> RE: A legend returns ... (2/17/2010 6:45:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: redwoodgirl
Someone send me this link PLEASE


http://www.collarchat.com/m_1260319/mpage_1/tm.htm


~smile~

Thank you.



Wolf2Bear -> RE: A legend returns ... (2/17/2010 6:47:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved


quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

You said before that nobody had made any points that in your opinion effectively refuted your beliefs so far on this thread.

I haven't seen anyone try this tack, so I'm going to:

Your belief is that casual BDSM reduces your capacity for love, right?

Well I don't know what sort (if any) of experiences you have had with casual BDSM, but for me engaging in casual BDSM is something which constantly surprises me with my own capacity for human emotion.

The amount of care and concern I feel for someone who has chosen to place themselves in my care is  amazing; the idea that all play with a partner I am not in love with must be soul-less and disconnected simply does not ring true with me.

I am sure that these feelings will be massively amplified when I play with someone I am in  love with, but I don't feel for one second that BDSM is reducing my ability to care for and interact emotionally with others.

That's my tuppence; I don't know if you will respond to this (your prerogative either way) but I thought that I would try and explain my feelings just in case.



You speak of your own feelings, but not of the feelings of the people you've been with.

Being self-absorbed is another characteristic of casual players.

As for why I believe casual bdsm to be emotionally abusive, I refer you to my essay: "Casual BDSM and Emotional Abuse: The Case for Love" in my profile.


Cripes...you explain to me in a reasonable way how when I meet some casual friend for sex or a play session without any strings attached...how that is damaging us? Especially when we both are on a clear understanding that the sole purpose for us hooking up is to get our rocks off and nothing more. Nobody is lying, there are no ulterior motives other then to seek pleasure together?



camille65 -> RE: A legend returns ... (2/17/2010 6:49:07 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Level


quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65


quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

FR

Hmm, never mind, I found the person, and they've recently come back, so.


OMG you aren't talking about meeeee are you?


Nooo, not you!


Whew.

[:)]



BLoved -> RE: A legend returns ... (2/17/2010 6:51:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
I got quite a way through your profile before I gave up-I don't think I can face the essay at this time of night.

Fair cop that I didn't mention the feelings of my partners, but that is not because I'm self absorbed-it's because I don't feel I can speak for others.


~smile~

Fair enough. I appreciate the effort. Should you choose to continue reading the essay I'd be interested in discussing it further with you.

Understand, I welcome those who can point out an error in my paradigm. I've no investment in being wrong. But also understand my paradigm has already faced several vigorous efforts to challenge it. It does not change without good cause.

I think that is no more than any thoughtful person should be willing to do.



lovingpet -> RE: A legend returns ... (2/17/2010 6:52:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet
~FR~  After the first page and a half, then I just had to quit.

...

lovingpet 


You jump to a lot of conclusions for having read so little.


If I am wrong, then feel free to say so.  I found your high handedness very distasteful.  I also do not like to have to witness the dogpiling such as has occurred here that happens every time a more controversial opinion is posited.  I don't see a whole lot of discussion and exchange of ideas going on here.  I see a lot of defensiveness and semi personal attacking going on in both directions and just find it repugnant.  Now who is jumping to conclusions?  I was not here in your earlier dispensations upon these boards.  You know nothing about me nor I you.  I simply asked for an operationalized definition of the term "casual" so that I could intelligently discuss it.  Without providing this in terms I can understand, all I can do is make assertions and develop my position and points based on them.

lovingpet



WinsomeDefiance -> RE: A legend returns ... (2/17/2010 6:53:37 PM)

I hope Bob finds his hearts desire. Everyone deserves to be happy. 

I hope you find your bliss, Bob.

One question.  Have you considered prescribing to the Clinton philosophy of sex....where its not SEX if its oral?  That might help ya, just a little, on those cold Canadian winter nights.  Every man should have the luxury of enjoying some good head.  And, if it isn't actually CASUAL SEX - just mouthfucking, then you have a win/win.

Everhelpful WinD



BLoved -> RE: A legend returns ... (2/17/2010 6:55:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b
I could engage you on this but I would have to first learn to walk on my hands and teach my ass to speak. And I'm just not prepared to do that.


~smile~

Then I need concern myself about you no longer ;)



RedMagic1 -> RE: A legend returns ... (2/17/2010 6:58:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: redwoodgirl
Someone send me this link PLEASE


http://www.collarchat.com/m_1260319/mpage_1/tm.htm


~smile~

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Recently, there was a poster here who would enter threads and take positions that he was right and everyone else was wrong.  His presence on the thread would act like a gravitational pull, and people would argue with him instead of dealing with the topic at hand.

My hope is that by providing people with some historical background, they will get a good sense of your style of argument, so fewer threads will be derailed.

I wish you nothing but the best, but you might have noticed that Alpha didn't exactly lay out the red carpet for you when you announced your return.  These boards don't need someone else who hops from thread to thread, trying his best to be a timesink.  Please respect that.



BLoved -> RE: A legend returns ... (2/17/2010 6:59:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet
quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved
quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet
~FR~  After the first page and a half, then I just had to quit.
...
lovingpet 

You jump to a lot of conclusions for having read so little.


If I am wrong, then feel free to say so.


I'd rather not be any more repetitive than necessary. I've provided directions to the answers, they require you read.

If you are unwilling to read the answers where I've placed them, I see no need to re-post them here. The choice is yours. Read them or don't.




heartcream -> RE: A legend returns ... (2/17/2010 7:00:31 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy


quote:

ORIGINAL: heartcream


quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

He is what he is.


Yeah a legend. If he can find a woman who digs him that is a good thing, who knows more mysterious things have happened.


I'm kind of icky and some people like me. Or are they just humoring me?


This could be a good thread domi. Girls go for ick if it is not too pushy, pontificating, self-righteously morally superior and are too hard to read. You are a wee piggy but you have a certain freedom loving quality presenting yourself as you are, heck, take a look at your profile, chicks eat that shit up and you know it. As you said you are famous!



thishereboi -> RE: A legend returns ... (2/17/2010 7:05:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx
There's lots of people in monogomous relationships here.
There's lots who aren't interested in that, and just want to play.
I find it interesting that you've got both groups irritated at you already.


I find it curious that monogamous people would suggest that meaningless multiple sexual encounters with virtual strangers is a wise choice. To suggest that monogamy is just another flavour of ice cream is to suggest they are not very devoted to monogamy, nor that they have any real convictions regarding it.

I suspect they speak of tolerance because they have friends in the casual camp and to speak out against that choice would threaten their friendships.

I suffer no such conflict of interests.



Do you believe casual BDSM has to have a sexual aspect?



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