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Do you feel being a Dom/me is innate or can be learned? - 3/28/2006 8:44:08 AM   
MsCesca


Posts: 16
Joined: 5/28/2004
Status: offline 		I am ever interested in this question... nature/nurture.

So what do you think?
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RE: Do you feel being a Dom/me is innate or can be lear... - 3/28/2006 8:47:25 AM   
urslave1978


Posts: 2
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Nature......there are those who are dominant by nature and others who are submissives by nature.......If you want to be genuine , you must be yourself :)

(in reply to MsCesca)
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RE: Do you feel being a Dom/me is innate or can be lear... - 3/28/2006 9:07:30 AM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline 		No wo/man is an island .... feel it is innate that we have both a nuture and nature element to what makes us dominant.  Some it may be nature that needed a time of nuture, for others it may be the time of nuturing that now makes dominance their nature ... so yes I believe dominance can be learned or more to the point 'awakened' in someone who may not be 'naturally' dominant ...then again, this answer is coming from someone who is more about 'control' than 'dominance'.

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RE: Do you feel being a Dom/me is innate or can be lear... - 3/28/2006 9:25:14 AM   
GoddessAlexia


Posts: 37
Joined: 9/1/2004
Status: offline 		Yes you are borne with it but of course you can also learn how to be dominant however you should always stick to your nature only than you will have a real pleasure without faking it.  

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RE: Do you feel being a Dom/me is innate or can be lear... - 3/28/2006 9:54:47 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		For most people, I think that Mastery is much like musical talent. You can hone your skill and learn techniques and truly become a awe-inspiring musican. But, if you're tone deaf to begin with, technical skill will only take you so far. If you don't have the heart/soul of a Master, you're tone deaf. It isn't a bad (or good) thing...it just is. I do believe, however, that many don't realize they have the heart of a Master!

http://www.arizonapowerexchange.org/academy/Master.htm

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(in reply to MsCesca)
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RE: Do you feel being a Dom/me is innate or can be lear... - 3/28/2006 10:13:07 AM   
masterrforu


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/22/2005
Status: offline 		Anyone can learn certain aspects of any job or position and although they may become proficient at that particular task they do not have the right to place a label on themselves that should be reserved for natural doms.[code]

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RE: Do you feel being a Dom/me is innate or can be lear... - 3/28/2006 10:30:09 AM   
wild1cfl


Posts: 567
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline 		With my wife and I it is a natural thing. We are both very dominant by nature. That does not mean that we are cruel, mean or demanding to our submissives it just means that we always take charge of any situation naturally and move things along naturally.

(in reply to MsCesca)
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RE: Do you feel being a Dom/me is innate or can be lear... - 3/28/2006 11:08:20 AM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline 		I am also from the school of "mainly nature".  I believe anyone with reasonable interest can learn to be a good top, but to be dominant and a Dominant takes more.  One needs confidence, and innate leadership skills.  I have mentored ladies who have learned to dominate their partners, per their partners request.  They do fine, but that partner did request it.  It wasn't a naturnal inclination.

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(in reply to MsCesca)
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RE: Do you feel being a Dom/me is innate or can be lear... - 3/28/2006 11:33:59 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold

I am also from the school of "mainly nature". I believe anyone with reasonable interest can learn to be a good top, but to be dominant and a Dominant takes more. One needs confidence, and innate leadership skills. I have mentored ladies who have learned to dominate their partners, per their partners request. They do fine, but that partner did request it. It wasn't a naturnal inclination.


Well, said.

Topping is abilities and techniques, in my opinion. But attitude is really part of being dominant; a self of the right to command and be served.

Now you can learn to act like a stereotype from porn but I personally don't think that's much more than topping + acting.

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RE: Do you feel being a Dom/me is innate or can be lear... - 3/28/2006 3:07:19 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		It can be learned but one needs the inclination to want ot learn and that you are born with.

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RE: Do you feel being a Dom/me is innate or can be lear... - 3/28/2006 3:14:59 PM   
MsAlexaandJack


Posts: 11
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		I believe we are all born with Dom/sub traits but one will become stronger than the other. Also environment has alot to do with it as well. So my answer would be yes innate and learned  I have always been dominant by nature and I grew up with two dominant parents. so its the only way I know to be.

MsAlexa

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
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RE: Do you feel being a Dom/me is innate or can be lear... - 3/30/2006 6:58:37 AM   
Nahemah


Posts: 34
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I can only echo some of the thoughts that have already been put out here. I believe everyone is born with a certain inclination towards either being Dominant or submissive. Even switches, (and I realize this is opening a can of worms...) are by nature, more of one or the other. While they may be skilled in both areas, I feel that their nature would determine which role they identify most with.
 
Me personally, I would say that I am a "natural" Dominant, being defined as Dominant by nature. I definitely feel nuture has played a huge role in shaping what was already there, however.

(in reply to MsAlexaandJack)
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RE: Do you feel being a Dom/me is innate or can be lear... - 3/30/2006 7:00:54 AM   
Nahemah


Posts: 34
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Oh, and one more thing? I have to say how proud I am that the words "Dominant" and "Dominate" have been used correctly throughout this entire post! Y'all know what I'm talking about!

(in reply to Nahemah)
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RE: Do you feel being a Dom/me is innate or can be lear... - 3/30/2006 1:24:19 PM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		anyone can learn the mechanics... topping & bottoming


As to being a dominant or a submissive... this is something you either are or you are not. No amount of educating, reading, role playing or anything else will teach someone to be either.

I agree that sometimes this may be awakened in a person but again this is something that was already there. 

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RE: Do you feel being a Dom/me is innate or can be lear... - 3/30/2006 3:25:29 PM   
lokisgodhi


Posts: 69
Status: offline 		Neither.

Dominance [or submission] is purely a function of the your reliative power dynamic with the person you're interacting with.

If you can dominate them then you're the dominant; if you can't you're either equal or their submissive.

Eric



quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCesca

I am ever interested in this question... nature/nurture.

So what do you think?


(in reply to MsCesca)
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RE: Do you feel being a Dom/me is innate or can be lear... - 3/30/2006 3:37:19 PM   
LordKhensu


Posts: 44
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline 		I would have to say that you are either a Dominant or not. Yes skills can be learned and roles can be played but it is definitely an attitude that one carries with them. To be a true Dom/Domme you have to feel deep inside your being that this is who you truly are. Only then will your true nature be seen!

Can it be awoken from it's peaceful slumber. Most definitely. Many discover this trait, attitude, later in life after various events force them to examine themselves and who they truly are and what is missing in their lives.


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RE: Do you feel being a Dom/me is innate or can be lear... - 3/30/2006 4:03:26 PM   
DiannaVesta


Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline 		I agree with most here that it is innate. I believe it is seed and that you cultivate it over time. Some dominance is bridled while others hit extremes & reach levels of kayos. It isn’t a question of being *too* dominant or controlling but how you go about doing that. Someone can be naturally dominant but to achieve Mastery is a whole other story.
Dianna


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RE: Do you feel being a Dom/me is innate or can be lear... - 3/30/2006 4:21:23 PM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCesca

I am ever interested in this question... nature/nurture.

So what do you think?


I think the answer to that question will be completely subjective and be more about proportion.



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“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
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(in reply to MsCesca)
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RE: Do you feel being a Dom/me is innate or can be lear... - 3/30/2006 5:21:33 PM   
Contesaluv


Posts: 173
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		I can only state that I am dominant because I am.  Have been since I was little. Although I remember that there were many attempts toward making me submissive, they failed because my dominance would always come through and take over the situation/event.  Events in my early life also helped to color and solidfy my level of dominance and my overall character as a Domme.  So, my vote is for dominance being in one's nature as opposed to it being a learned trait.





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It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.
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