RE: blue balls

RE: blue balls (Full Version)

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allthatjaz -> RE: blue balls (2/18/2010 4:07:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DommeKeliDallas My ball crusher on my profile page is better than wrapping them. I love humblers too, especially when you want to keep them very firmly on their hands and knees [:D] I have to admit that I do like thin soft rope and thick twine for cbt. I find that all the leather purpose made stuff only fits a majority of shapes and sizes and you often need 4 hands to put it on. I bought myself a heavy weight metal ring but the only way to get it on is to unlock it with an alan key. Its impossible to hold in place whilst you try to lock it and you just end up fumbling around before throwing it across the room. Complete waste of money and it wasn't cheap. Rope can be creative and I love fumbling round with a nice pair of bollocks [;)]

Baldbalzs -> RE: blue balls (2/24/2010 1:19:16 PM)
when they start to get cold it has been long enough, for sure

LafayetteLady -> RE: blue balls (2/24/2010 5:15:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I must have read the OP wrong then. I thought it was his Mistress that was trying to learn something, even though she couldn't bring the question herself. I know I'm in the minority here of My way of thinking that the message boards aren't really the most valuable resource in these matters. There isn't going to be nearly the detail as can be found by attending a few demos or events. Even lacking that, the information that is going to be conveyed on these boards isn't nearly as extensive as what can be found in purchasing a copy of "The Family Jewels". This is in addition to the hundreds of threads that already exist on the subject and already provide information. Research for educational purposes, in My opinion, isn't just sitting back while folks hand over the answers time and time again. I went and read the OP's other posts and while they are about sexual activity, they aren't asking for graphic details of others' experience, which to me is wank material. He appears to be legitimately looking for information in all of them, and while perhaps his mistress should be the one doing the research, on this post it seems as though they have a slight disagreement regarding how long is ok. He seems to think it can be longer than she does. Sorry, but no, demos on these things are not the same as taking, say, a class in real estate. For many people, these activities are very private. They don't want to attend events, classes or demos. They don't want to risk seeing anyone they know and finding themselves in a difficult position with anyone asking them questions they may not want to answer. The internet is a great place to learn a great many things, and just because someone hasn't attended a demo or class on a particular activity, but only researched it on line doesn't automatically mean they shouldn't be doing the activity. It does mean that they should proceed with caution, but realistically, even if having attended a class on the subject, when trying it for the first time, proceeding with caution should be the way to go. After all, they may not have been an active participant at the class, so the information they got was no more than hearing what they could have read. Therefore, they have no more experience one way or the other. Recommending a book is great, they might not know it exists. Since they don't know it exists, they really wouldn't know to search for it. The idea of "Research for educational purposes, in My opinion, isn't just sitting back while folks hand over the answers time and time again" really only flies if it is the same person asking the question. Typically the questions are asked by new people. Could they find the information on this message board by using the search function? Sure. And when they read an old thread and have more questions, they get ripped apart for reviving an old thread, so some people here are just never happy. I find it interesting that women asking similar questions, whether the situation is a little different because it is a sub female or a dominant female, I have never seen anyone claim those OPs' were looking for wanking material. Politely pointing out that there are many threads where additional information can be found is great. Doing so impolitely is unnecessary. Yes, many of us see the same questions over and over again, and it can get a bit tiresome reading the same thing over and over when hoping to find something new. But there is always the option of taking the high road when you come across those threads and just not bothering to post to them at all.

PeonForHer -> RE: blue balls (2/24/2010 6:59:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady I went and read the OP's other posts and while they are about sexual activity, they aren't asking for graphic details of others' experience, which to me is wank material. He appears to be legitimately looking for information in all of them, and while perhaps his mistress should be the one doing the research, on this post it seems as though they have a slight disagreement regarding how long is ok. He seems to think it can be longer than she does. My instincts on the motivation of the OP still say the same thing to me. Still, I think I'll cut out the bulldog act in future. I guess we have enough growling animals on this forum without my adding to their number.

LafayetteLady -> RE: blue balls (2/25/2010 2:50:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady I went and read the OP's other posts and while they are about sexual activity, they aren't asking for graphic details of others' experience, which to me is wank material. He appears to be legitimately looking for information in all of them, and while perhaps his mistress should be the one doing the research, on this post it seems as though they have a slight disagreement regarding how long is ok. He seems to think it can be longer than she does. My instincts on the motivation of the OP still say the same thing to me. Still, I think I'll cut out the bulldog act in future. I guess we have enough growling animals on this forum without my adding to their number. I typically find your posts enlightening and very thoughtful. I also love the new picture.

LadyPact -> RE: blue balls (2/25/2010 5:04:11 PM)
Sorry, but no, demos on these things are not the same as taking, say, a class in real estate. For many people, these activities are very private. They don't want to attend events, classes or demos. They don't want to risk seeing anyone they know and finding themselves in a difficult position with anyone asking them questions they may not want to answer. You know, I've heard this several times over the years. My question in reply is always, exactly who are you going to see at an event who isn't there exactly for the same purposes you are? Why would anyone be afraid of running into someone else who just happens to be kinky? If it's somebody from work, church, or school they have just as much explaining to do as you do if they chose to broadcast the fact that you were both attending the same event. After all, they may not have been an active participant at the class, so the information they got was no more than hearing what they could have read. Therefore, they have no more experience one way or the other. When is the last time you were at a demo that the presenter wasn't available to answer questions after it was over? Even if you can't do any hands on at the event for whatever reason, what's wrong with walking up to the presenter after the class, saying that you have more questions, and is there any way you can get together at another time? Some of the best stuff that I've learned about topping happened just like that. The thing about using the internet for research is that you have to take it with a grain of salt. Truthfully, a person reading has no idea of whether they are getting good advice on play techniques or not because they have no opportunity to verify that the person writing the response has any idea of what in the heck they are talking about. For at least 95% of the forum readers, they honestly don't know if I am who I say I am because they've never met Me. For all they know, I'm some guy in Jersey who lives in his mother's basement who's never touched a bottom in a BDSM context. Now, if a person is a responsible top, is that really the best source?

Madame4a -> RE: blue balls (2/25/2010 5:18:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Sorry, but no, demos on these things are not the same as taking, say, a class in real estate. For many people, these activities are very private. They don't want to attend events, classes or demos. They don't want to risk seeing anyone they know and finding themselves in a difficult position with anyone asking them questions they may not want to answer. You know, I've heard this several times over the years. My question in reply is always, exactly who are you going to see at an event who isn't there exactly for the same purposes you are? Why would anyone be afraid of running into someone else who just happens to be kinky? If it's somebody from work, church, or school they have just as much explaining to do as you do if they chose to broadcast the fact that you were both attending the same event. After all, they may not have been an active participant at the class, so the information they got was no more than hearing what they could have read. Therefore, they have no more experience one way or the other. When is the last time you were at a demo that the presenter wasn't available to answer questions after it was over? Even if you can't do any hands on at the event for whatever reason, what's wrong with walking up to the presenter after the class, saying that you have more questions, and is there any way you can get together at another time? Some of the best stuff that I've learned about topping happened just like that. The thing about using the internet for research is that you have to take it with a grain of salt. Truthfully, a person reading has no idea of whether they are getting good advice on play techniques or not because they have no opportunity to verify that the person writing the response has any idea of what in the heck they are talking about. For at least 95% of the forum readers, they honestly don't know if I am who I say I am because they've never met Me. For all they know, I'm some guy in Jersey who lives in his mother's basement who's never touched a bottom in a BDSM context. Now, if a person is a responsible top, is that really the best source? yep... quoted for truth and because I agree with every word... physical skills, physical things really need to be learned physically, not simply in theory from people who's credentials you really have no clue about... and frankly anyone who is really new is not going to be able to tell if someone hasn't a clue what they are talking about.. hell, I've got plenty of experience and I can't always tell... and so.. how's the snow piling up there in jersey.. around the basement... Frank?

LafayetteLady -> RE: blue balls (2/25/2010 6:12:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Sorry, but no, demos on these things are not the same as taking, say, a class in real estate. For many people, these activities are very private. They don't want to attend events, classes or demos. They don't want to risk seeing anyone they know and finding themselves in a difficult position with anyone asking them questions they may not want to answer. You know, I've heard this several times over the years. My question in reply is always, exactly who are you going to see at an event who isn't there exactly for the same purposes you are? Why would anyone be afraid of running into someone else who just happens to be kinky? If it's somebody from work, church, or school they have just as much explaining to do as you do if they chose to broadcast the fact that you were both attending the same event. After all, they may not have been an active participant at the class, so the information they got was no more than hearing what they could have read. Therefore, they have no more experience one way or the other. When is the last time you were at a demo that the presenter wasn't available to answer questions after it was over? Even if you can't do any hands on at the event for whatever reason, what's wrong with walking up to the presenter after the class, saying that you have more questions, and is there any way you can get together at another time? Some of the best stuff that I've learned about topping happened just like that. The thing about using the internet for research is that you have to take it with a grain of salt. Truthfully, a person reading has no idea of whether they are getting good advice on play techniques or not because they have no opportunity to verify that the person writing the response has any idea of what in the heck they are talking about. For at least 95% of the forum readers, they honestly don't know if I am who I say I am because they've never met Me. For all they know, I'm some guy in Jersey who lives in his mother's basement who's never touched a bottom in a BDSM context. Now, if a person is a responsible top, is that really the best source? Sorry, but the point is that a lot of people have no desire to participate in events. Also, unless the demo is held in someone's private home, there are people at the location who aren't the least bit involved in attending the demo. There are a great number of people who have learned what they are doing without the benefit of some "credentialed" person teaching them and they are doing just fine. The bottom line with a lot of activities is that both parties need to take on new activities with caution and some common sense. That stands whether they attended a demo or learned it on the internet or even in a recommended book. However, I notice often that common sense can be in short supply with a good number of activities. The implication you make is that someone who learns on their own, whether through books, internet research (not simply on this site, but the whole web) and asking questions of others on this site rather than attending demos, munches and events is irresponsible. Realistically, if someone has done some reading on these boards for any length of time, and are relatively intelligent, they can figure out very easily who has experience when answering the questions. Certainly, there are many who wouldn't be able to figure that out, but then again, they wouldn't be able to learn much at an event either. Add to that the ones who it doesn't matter what anyone says, what common sense would dictate, they are going to do what they want anyway, so it doesn't matter. ETA: I don't know who "Frank" might be, but we are getting slammed with non stop snow and white out conditions in Northern New Jersey.

LPslittleclip -> RE: blue balls (2/25/2010 9:17:11 PM)
you ony get one pair so dont damage them. as my Mistress said get some reaserch material and attend some demos get some basic info on the body before attempting the play.

LadyPact -> RE: blue balls (2/26/2010 12:04:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Sorry, but no, demos on these things are not the same as taking, say, a class in real estate. For many people, these activities are very private. They don't want to attend events, classes or demos. They don't want to risk seeing anyone they know and finding themselves in a difficult position with anyone asking them questions they may not want to answer. You know, I've heard this several times over the years. My question in reply is always, exactly who are you going to see at an event who isn't there exactly for the same purposes you are? Why would anyone be afraid of running into someone else who just happens to be kinky? If it's somebody from work, church, or school they have just as much explaining to do as you do if they chose to broadcast the fact that you were both attending the same event. After all, they may not have been an active participant at the class, so the information they got was no more than hearing what they could have read. Therefore, they have no more experience one way or the other. When is the last time you were at a demo that the presenter wasn't available to answer questions after it was over? Even if you can't do any hands on at the event for whatever reason, what's wrong with walking up to the presenter after the class, saying that you have more questions, and is there any way you can get together at another time? Some of the best stuff that I've learned about topping happened just like that. The thing about using the internet for research is that you have to take it with a grain of salt. Truthfully, a person reading has no idea of whether they are getting good advice on play techniques or not because they have no opportunity to verify that the person writing the response has any idea of what in the heck they are talking about. For at least 95% of the forum readers, they honestly don't know if I am who I say I am because they've never met Me. For all they know, I'm some guy in Jersey who lives in his mother's basement who's never touched a bottom in a BDSM context. Now, if a person is a responsible top, is that really the best source? Sorry, but the point is that a lot of people have no desire to participate in events. Also, unless the demo is held in someone's private home, there are people at the location who aren't the least bit involved in attending the demo. There are a great number of people who have learned what they are doing without the benefit of some "credentialed" person teaching them and they are doing just fine. The bottom line with a lot of activities is that both parties need to take on new activities with caution and some common sense. That stands whether they attended a demo or learned it on the internet or even in a recommended book. However, I notice often that common sense can be in short supply with a good number of activities. The implication you make is that someone who learns on their own, whether through books, internet research (not simply on this site, but the whole web) and asking questions of others on this site rather than attending demos, munches and events is irresponsible. Realistically, if someone has done some reading on these boards for any length of time, and are relatively intelligent, they can figure out very easily who has experience when answering the questions. Certainly, there are many who wouldn't be able to figure that out, but then again, they wouldn't be able to learn much at an event either. Add to that the ones who it doesn't matter what anyone says, what common sense would dictate, they are going to do what they want anyway, so it doesn't matter. ETA: I don't know who "Frank" might be, but we are getting slammed with non stop snow and white out conditions in Northern New Jersey. Never did I say that anyone who isn't attending demos isn't responsible. I didn't imply it either. Why in the world would I even suggest that someone with, say, medical training, wouldn't know how to use the best care and safety precautions out there? Now, somebody who 'just found out' that it was fun to turn someone's balls blue, doesn't strike Me as someone who's done a lot of research on said safety precautions. Trial and error is a way of learning (I've done it Myself with other types of play) but it sure doesn't sound like a lot of investment was made. Does that sound like anyone who has spent any length of time even reading these boards to you? The point that I'm trying to make here is that people have been doing these things long before the net came around. Let's remember that anyone can write anything and post it on the net as though it's true. I'm more a 'believe it when I see it' person. ETA I'm really curious about demos that you've attended that were held in locations where folks not involved in BDSM were included. Is there any way we could discuss that?

allthatjaz -> RE: blue balls (2/26/2010 12:45:39 AM)
We have lots of self professed experts out there. People who write on the boards and give advice and people who do demos & workshops! I give demos/workshops on various things. Mainly the risks of cross contamination and how to avoid it and medical play. People that attend my demos only know who I am through reputation and popularity within the UK scene. I have never shown medical credentials and people don't even know my real full name and that is the same for most of us that go down the demo/workshop line. If someone likes me they will recommend me. If someone dislikes me they will have no belief in me. The longer Im around the more credence I get but do I really know what I'm talking about? BDSM and all that we practice is not a science. There is no equivalent of the 'medical board of examiners'. Most demonstrators/teachers can't show their full credentials. Its unlikely we will ever see a doctor degree with a scene persons full real name on it! and so we have to put a certain amount of trust in the person doing the demo/workshop. Anyone can set up a demo/workshop, all one needs is a decent reputation. I could set something up on 'breath play' and can almost guarantee I will get a full class but do I really know about breath play? is what I am telling people gospel? Just because they happened to like my other workshop probably means they will hang off every word I tell them. The internet is a huge source of information. We can put our hands on medical papers, research, forum debates about certain practices. We can go to demos/workshops but lets find out who they learnt from and not just believe they know what they are talking about because everyone says so. Lets check and re-check the information they have given us and see if there are any contradictions or safer practices. Lets use every resource available to us.

PeonForHer -> RE: blue balls (2/26/2010 2:28:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady I typically find your posts enlightening and very thoughtful. I also love the new picture. Thank you, LL. :-)

mirror88 -> RE: blue balls (2/26/2010 2:21:41 PM)
twenty minutes tops. Also the big question is whether you are allowed to massage them after, or if she will do it for you eventually. If not, the discomfort will last all day, which may be the point.

mirror88 -> RE: blue balls (2/26/2010 2:24:32 PM)
With restrictive ball binding its good habit for a Mistress to restore full circulation about every 20 minutes. As she said.

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