RE: Tips for dealing with drop from abrupt endings to scenes?

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Tips for dealing with drop from abrupt endings to scenes?

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RE: Tips for dealing with drop from abrupt endings to s... - 2/22/2010 3:25:20 PM

WanderSub

Posts: 13
Joined: 6/7/2007
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@ afkarr - I feel the same way, dealing with sudden endings are rougher for me than not even starting. And in the future, I will be carefully weighing the chances of being interrupted. I do have a steady playmate, who happened to be involved in one of these instances. The abrupt ending was beyond either of our control and circumstances resulted in me not getting aftercare from him. Good advice!

@ Pudicitia - You're spot on with the thought on humiliation/degradation play as that is one of my triggers (i.e 99% of the time it ends up in drop). I have learned that interruption of the play arc there magnifies the usual result/drop, so I'll proceed with additional caution. Returning to daily routines has always been an important part of my coping, but I will definitely be adding my comfort food to pre-play preparations. Cheesy rice! Thank you!

@ SimplyMichael - That is a BEAUTIFUL idea! I love it. Thank you!

(in reply to Pudicitia)

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RE: Tips for dealing with drop from abrupt endings to s... - 2/22/2010 7:31:44 PM

lovingpet

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Joined: 6/19/2005
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~FR~

I have to wonder if there is an emotional charge associated with the fact that the scene ended suddenly. Under what circumstances did the scene end? Was it a situation where life intervened and things had to come to a stop? Or was it that the intensity got really high really fast and there was an issue? Maybe it was something else. I just wonder though. I know I had a bit of a meltdown thinking I had disappointed my partner after a very long and intense scene. He stopped when it seemed like we couldn't possibly be done...in my altered state head. He took a couple minutes to soothe me and let me know I had done well and that he was very happy with me and then pointed to the clock. We were at a dungeon and it was time for them to close. I had been in la la land for hours. It had seemed like maybe 15 minutes.

That's what I wonder about. Is it maybe a perceptual thing giving you some upset that you didn't do well or otherwise disappointed? I don't know because it is not clear what the situation was at the time. Also keep in mind that all those chemicals running around at high levels that don't have time to settle a bit will affect everything including mood. He drove us back to our hotel and we spent the rest of the weekend together, so the couple minutes at the club wasn't all the care I got. It was just that initial... oh look at the time we've got to wrap this up and get out of here... that messed me up for a little bit.

I don't know if there is any good way to prevent a bit of a jolt when things have to end quickly, but I think more important is to not feel badly about being a little more emotional and vulnerable and even needing more help than usual. It is not abnormal at all. It is actually pretty biological and the best thing you can do in those moments is be kind to yourself and do whatever it is you need to do to feel better.

lovingpet

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If you put your head into more, you'd have to put your back into less. ~Me

10 Fluffy pts.

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RE: Tips for dealing with drop from abrupt endings to s... - 2/25/2010 11:46:03 AM

WanderSub

Posts: 13
Joined: 6/7/2007
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@ Loving pet - In each situation the interruption was for different and unrelated reasons. The most intense drop resulted from life intervening. It wasn't anything either of us could have prevented. Which is why I'm less asking for ways to prevent abrupt endings as they are going to happen if you play and more looking for ways for me to personally and on my own cope with them. I, of course, am evaluating each case and will be making adjustments in the future to attempt to avoid abrupt endings, but they are a risk for the reward, so I'd rather have a contingency plan on hand.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

I don't know if there is any good way to prevent a bit of a jolt when things have to end quickly, but I think more important is to not feel badly about being a little more emotional and vulnerable and even needing more help than usual. It is not abnormal at all. It is actually pretty biological and the best thing you can do in those moments is be kind to yourself and do whatever it is you need to do to feel better.

lovingpet

I think you hit on a really good point there in that I do feel bad about my own drop. Logically, I know that it's a very natural occurrence and I know I need to address my needs and take care of myself. But when the drop gets into full swing and I feel out of control of myself, I get mad at myself for not being able to control it. (Yes, I know that's nutty.) The lack of control and the feeling bad about the lack of control compound each other then. I like how you phrased that, "be kind to yourself." Thank you!

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