|
barelynangel -> Truisms (2/18/2010 6:04:10 PM)
|
Even when opportunity knocks, you still have to get up off your seat and open the door.
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to
immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when
you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap
when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm
pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you
how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of
tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a
moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything
productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue
Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and
it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper
that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never
wash this - ever.
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello?
Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times
and goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the
phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and
then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I
know not to answer when they call.
18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given
Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option
21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was
younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on
when I first saw it.
22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in
each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm
trying to finish a text.
24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between
boredom and hunger.
25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you
just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word
they said?
26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of
cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay
strong, brothers and sisters!
27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never
get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber
every year?
29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure
you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate
drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate
cyclists.
31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times
and still not know what time it is.
32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating
their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the
Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the
snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed,
first time, every time!
|
|
|
|
