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OriginallyFromLA -> RE: person v relationship (2/20/2010 7:09:46 AM)
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quote:
Nobody wants to feel like they're in competition with some ideal that exists so far only in someone else's imagination. If you're not interested inthe whole package, wouldn"t it just be easier to say "I don't think we're real compatible, been nice meeting you"?
Isn't that the reasonable attitude? I happen to share it.
I don't want to hijack, but since I opened this can of worms... *Sigh*....A few years ago I was miserable waiting around for the right woman to come along. I had this unrealistic ideal of what I wanted. Then one day I looked at myself and said why in the world would the type of woman you want have anything to do with you. So I started on a "self improvement" program.
While I was working on trying to be as physically attractive as I could be(hard work), I also took a long look at the way I thought. I made a list of what was really important to me and decided "this is what is important, and the rest is just noise". It was a very short list.
Well the problem was the list was SO short that I fell hard for the first woman I met that satisfied it. And when it ended it was devistating. And I take 100% responsibility for it. She was wrong for me plain and simple and I knew it but I just assumed we would grow towards each other because where things were right, they were how I always immagined it should be.
So in the end, I end up here, again working on trying to be as physically attractive as I can, while trying to identify and learn from my mistakes. And let me tell you, I made a lot of them.
So I'm re-writing my list, expanding it to include the things I learned. I came here to get a better handle on who I am, why I think the way I do, what it is about you submissive women that rings the bell in my brain and how I can muffle it. I work hard every day to try to make myself better phyisically, emotionally, menatlly and spiritually. I expect the same thing from my partner.
So me? I share the attitude that I would rather be alone and OK, than with the wrong person and miserable. I don't want to be responsible for someone's emotional pain.
But in the end each person has to make their own list and understand that life is all about learning and you may find that your list wasn't right. I really envy the people here who know who they are and are in these long term relationships. One of these days I hope be be one of them. Until then, I have plenty of work to keep me busy.
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