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LadyNTrainer -> RE: Gender confused male slaves and what dommes think about them (2/20/2010 10:01:19 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: bloodybaylors
I would really like to hear from dommes who have acquired any individual cross dressing males who are either submissive or slavelike and who have found them very gender confused regarding their true gender identity and how it was coped with?
Seriously, it's a damn difficult and complex issue to deal with, and it generally takes a medical professional to determine if what you're dealing with is true gender identity disorder, for which the only humane and ethical treatment is surgical and hormonal gender reassignment. Sometimes it is and sometimes it's not. Genderqueer is a pretty wide spectrum.
I'm going to venture what will probably be the unpopular opinion that if you have reason to suspect you may be dealing with true GID, it borders on criminally irresponsible to dictate a course of treatment or lack of treatment in the absence of a confirmed diagnosis. Eg, if you're dealing with an actually transgendered individual, ordering them not to "cross dress" is potentially damaging. If you're not dealing with someone with some flavor of GID who can get medical support to transition, encouraging them to feminize/masculinize using irreversible methods (hormones, etc) is equally damaging, even if they consent at the time. And unless you are a medical professional, and the right kind of medical professional at that, you are NOT qualified to make that diagnosis.
I appreciate genderqueer a lot. I overlap a bit into that category myself, though I'm not myself interested in transitioning. But it takes extra thought and careful ethical judgment to be able to give the kind of support that a seriously gender-questioning individual needs to make the right decisions in his or her life. Sometimes it takes a medical professional to make a clear diagnosis and an appropriate prescription.
I think chicks with dicks are fucking hot. I'd love to have one as a pet. However I limit my play with most of them to certain boundaries of involvement, because my personal preference is very strongly for "keep the dick". It's not fair or helpful to essentially blackmail somebody into keeping parts they don't want and that aren't psychologically healthy for them to have, just because you personally like them. The fact is that I'd lose interest in a complete post-op, ergo it would not be healthy or ethical for me to form a relationship other than friendship with a pre-op if I did not feel that I could be fully supportive of them doing what was truly best for them. I'd be somewhat less concerned for an FTM, because I know I could be 100% supportive of his need for full masculinization, without being overly pressuring him to make changes before they were medically and psychologically appropriate for him.
People who don't yet know if they have GID or not are in an emotionally vulnerable place. You really need to be careful with them until they know themselves, and until you know you aren't going to be damaging them by becoming attached to parts of their bodies or lives that are not ultimately healthy for them to keep. I can't stress this enough.
A happy genderqueer or fetishist who knows themselves inside and out and is at peace with the body they have, those I'll play with readily, or consider for a long term relationship. The truly gender confused I prefer to befriend and assist in a neutral and nonjudgmental way, supporting them in the process of finding out what is best for them without unduly influencing them. I might play with them, but I would remain more emotionally detached and mainly focused on helping them sort out their gender identity feelings. If they wanted more than that from me, I would make it an absolute requirement for their sake that they went through gender identity counseling before getting emotionally involved with someone who has a very strong preference for one gender. That's not fair either to the truly transgendered person or to their potential partner, if their partner's sexual preferences are likely to conflict with their very real medical and psychological need for transition.
IMO, the ethical issues are greatly exacerbated if the partner is dominant. This is a potentially very serious minefield, and I think that dominants need to be fully aware of its depth and complexity if they have gender confused submissive partners.
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