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Lockit -> RE: Expressing submission (2/20/2010 10:30:34 AM)
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As I think about this thread and the topic, many things are running through my mind and it is hard to decide what to comment on! Yet, there is something that is sticking and I would like to make comment on it before I talk about special moments that sometimes lasted for years! lol When I first read the op of course my mind went to personal relationships and the special moments, but I also thought of the special moments I shared with male submissive’s that I wasn’t in a personal relationship with. How there were special moments that meant just as much to me in many ways. So while the personal relationship with a submissive male is my ultimate goal… those other relationships encourage, uplift, enhance life and make other special moments for me.
I think that for me, the special comes in when someone can see who I am and fills a need or emotional place that needed filling in that moment. I often call what I do with a submissive as a feeding. I feed off of him, his feelings, expressions and actions. I can also feed off of what I do for the submissive; it isn’t just a one way thing. I have found that I can feed whether there is a dynamic between us or not, just simply by seeing the beauty of a submissive male. The degree of feeding is different I guess. Like one provides a meal and the other, a tasty snack! lol At the end of the day… both have a wonderful place in my life and bless me in a great way.
One such moment was when I was with the love of my life. I genuinely beautiful man, inside and out and one who didn’t have an enemy in the world. Everyone loved him! He came into my life during a trying time and offered me so much that few would even think about. He first offered me a place to just go and relax in, free of noise and children or any phone or hassles. He provided a place where I could balance myself. He would see my needs and put them before all else and would sacrifice to be sure I got what I needed.
He once saw that I was writing on paper bags because my paper had run out and since I was supporting my sister’s family I couldn’t afford more. He knew how important writing was to me. I was also on my last pen. He loved what I wrote and later in life I found that he had kept everything I had ever written to him, even a short note type story of our futures… that didn’t include one another. He told me he wanted to frame it all and hang in for all to see in his home, but couldn’t yet share me with others. So one day he says he has something for me. At that point I thought he might mean a ring and it made me nervous! He was a huge man and very handsome and he walked out of the room and back in with the biggest smile. He knelt down beside me and in his hands was a huge stack of notebook paper and a handful of pens. The look on his face and in his eyes said it all, but also that he knew what was most important to me and he was providing that. I loved his excitement in giving me something he knew I needed and would love and he gave me the greatest gift I have ever gotten because it came from knowing me and loving me.
Then there was Peon… when he first got to CM, he was a bit testy in his wording and a bit lost. He couldn’t see me as a dominant and said so. lol Then one day he emails and said he saw it! lol He was starting to really see me… not just the friend or parts of me he did understand, but a fuller picture. He has touched me many times, providing for me in a sense, support or care and often times a knight in armor kind of thing. Always concerned about how I am doing. There have been others but this is getting far too long! Polite, Elan, Seeks, lilsarbonn, AIM and many who read here but don’t post… all have given me special moments that I will always feel blessed by. (I know I am missing someone, please forgive me!)
Just seeing a submissive man being submissive or acting as a wonderful guy is touching for me. Hell, I will take the enjoyment wherever I can find it I guess! It is just such a beautiful sight! lol
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