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INSTALLING HUSBAND‏ - 2/20/2010 1:04:59 PM   
frazzle


Posts: 1212
Joined: 6/20/2009
Status: offline 		INSTALLING HUSBAND‏

A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy


Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jeweller applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

______ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________

Reply

DEAR Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5..

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7.

Good Luck Madam!

IT SUPPORT DESK

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: INSTALLING HUSBAND‏ - 2/20/2010 1:06:04 PM   
winterlight


Posts: 1319
Joined: 2/18/2006
Status: offline 		LMAO, good one!!!!! LOLOLOLOL

(in reply to frazzle)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: INSTALLING HUSBAND‏ - 2/20/2010 1:08:46 PM   
winterlight


Posts: 1319
Joined: 2/18/2006
Status: offline 		Uninstall the Sports program to Husband 1.1, install Romance program for Husband 1.1

If that doesn't work create your own Robot. Isn't there a female Robot available now? All yours for $7,000.00!


j/k

(in reply to winterlight)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: INSTALLING HUSBAND‏ - 2/20/2010 1:11:22 PM   
winterlight


Posts: 1319
Joined: 2/18/2006
Status: offline 		Opps Husband 1.0...

Sorry i am not technical when it comes to computers..

(in reply to winterlight)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: INSTALLING HUSBAND‏ - 2/20/2010 1:12:55 PM   
frazzle


Posts: 1212
Joined: 6/20/2009
Status: offline 		Neither am i technical, i just thought this funny when i saw it

I'll stick to batteries, so much less complicated.

(in reply to winterlight)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: INSTALLING HUSBAND‏ - 2/21/2010 9:02:25 PM   
Termyn8or


Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline 		FR

There is an upgrade in beta, Husband 2.06. Written by Men, it has anti virus features that prevent the installation of any versoins of Jewelry or Chocolate. While still in beta, this version shows promise. It intercepts any actions of Yellin.exe and abuse.exe and prompts the user (hint) There is also an upgrade called whygotothebar.exe that shows promise. It is a small subroutine but reminds the user "Why the fuck do I go to work for over half my waking hours and then waste the rest in the bar ? Especially when I have a fridgefull of beer at home, as well as dinner probably and some pussy possibly". There is an addon being considered called youcansmoke.exe , but they are not sure if it is compatible with certain user modifications of Husband.exe.

Other addons are ready for the beta stage as well. For example 80% of the users have upgraded with leather.exe, chain.exe and the highly coveted stainlesssteel.exe. The latter was written by a ten year old kid in Yugoslavia.

Please note that all of these programs are, and will perpetually be in the development stage, so download and run them at your own risk. God.com takes not responsibility for any incidental or consequential damages. We are also indemnified from any illegal or improper use of this program, and shall be held harmless from any and all claims arising therefrom.

Just for quick reference refer to the agreement that comes up when you install Windows. We own everything including you. Our agreement makes that agreement look like a one month lease for a cardboard box under a bridge. You are that fucked, and what's more, we have no assets, so if you sue us for a million bucks and win you get nothing.

Enjoy your purchase of the best software for this task ever concieve3d. In the event of technical problems just call 1-800-FUC-KYOU and your problem will be dismissed at an alarming rate.

Thank you for your patronage.

T

(in reply to frazzle)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: INSTALLING HUSBAND‏ - 2/22/2010 10:34:26 PM   
XxCuddledupxX


Posts: 10
Joined: 2/22/2010
Status: offline 		lol, i like this. especially the addition at the end though on one part you did use the word "Windows" Which kind of made no since :P

_____________________________

XxCuddledupxX
Jodie & Leah

(in reply to Termyn8or)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: INSTALLING HUSBAND‏ - 2/22/2010 10:53:41 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

She forgot to run NoMorePussyForYou 2.0


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to frazzle)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: INSTALLING HUSBAND‏ - 2/23/2010 1:39:20 PM   
kinkienesss


Posts: 198
Joined: 3/22/2008
Status: offline 		lmao i want that program


_____________________________

My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be approved. Do you suppose I care? A poor fool indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking for others!

Marquis De Sade

(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: INSTALLING HUSBAND‏ - 2/24/2010 12:02:45 AM   
Termyn8or


Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline 		For that I would need to install Wife 1.6 or better. System requirements are high :

B. An unlimited bank account.
5. A house with a diningroom that can't be burned down.
F. The sense of humor of a serial killer.
9. Total insanity.

Note these things are not available at Bestbuy, or even Global Computer. I know, I have a personal inside representative. Perhap craigslist or eBay ?

T

(in reply to kinkienesss)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: INSTALLING HUSBAND‏ - 2/26/2010 12:04:03 AM   
Silentrunner26


Posts: 424
Joined: 7/15/2009
Status: offline 		I have a friend who is a tech at my old job when i sent this to him he fell out his chair and almost cracked open his skull . He never stopped laighing .

(in reply to Termyn8or)
Profile   Post #: 11
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