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LadyPact -> RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 (2/23/2010 11:05:47 AM)
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It is now Tuesday. By this, I mean that I think My mind has cleared enough to come back to this thread.
quote:
ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo
Well, i heard there are cookies on this post, too! And since i gave up sex for lent, cookies are all i eat! ;-)
As i have read through this thread, i am not sure what i can add. myself, i met and dated several Dommes before the Internet/porn explosion. When i met these Ladies, i met intelligent, professional, ambitious Ladies who i had no idea were Dommes until later.
So i have always taken it for granted that Dominant Women are no different than vanilla Women, until it comes to the lovemaking! <smiles> Which means, no two are alike ... each has different likes, dislikes, preferences and so on ... and so forth ...
The only other generalization i can make is that Dominant Women like it when a man puts them on a pedestal, and allows You to take control.
Many vanilla Women do not. Even though they will fight for control for years ... but a man cannot give it to them easily, or they lose respect for the man. Sad but true in my experience.
But there were several points made here that i will comment on.
1. There is nothing sexier than a Lady one has deep feelings about, in the morning with Her hair unbrushed, no make up, wearing only my shirt. Lady Pact mentioned this earlier. And i agree, 100 per cent.
i have told a number of vanilla Ladies this, and they cannot believe it ... LOL ... come on girls ... like i am not a subject matter expert? LOL
2. i do enjoy having oral performed on me. But i have always felt a little bit guilty about it. Because it seems so one sided. So i have asked Women why they like to do it.
And the nearly unanimous response is the feeling of power and control over the male. Some also add, as Sweet Dommes said, knowing the soft flesh was right there in the teeth. (Shrieks with horror, stay away Lorraina Bobbit!)
3. Some sentiment that men feel power after cumming ... well that is true. So i always sweetly suggest ... a little whipping after, to put the boy back into a submissive state. (yikes ... giving up my secrets and i haven't even got a cookie yet!)
That said, i will suggest, there are a group of Ladies on Collar me, who do not post on the boards, yet do play to and encourage the image of the fantasy Domme in male minds. So sometimes ... it is easy for the weak minded, immature and fantasy player to have the porn image ... not an excuse ... just an observation of mine.
So if You have any specific questions ... fire away ... i will try to answer them ...
I thought you did pretty well.
The problem with the generalization thing is that most sensible people know that they aren't worth much. Sure, the fantasy thing is going on out there. Thank goodness that it is for the porn industry's sake. Just think how difficult it would be to market a product by saying that everybody's different.
I think what happens often is, there are a group of folks, on both sides of the kneel, that are still finding their way. They have these generalizations to go on because they don't have the reality just yet. In the meantime, the generalizations are hot. It fuels the fire, the cravings, and the desires about what they hope this is going to be.
These things don't especially fade away in the course of casual encounters or even short term dynamics. There's still a time investment that has to happen for us kinky folks, just like there is for the non kinky folks. Has anybody out there ever dated someone for six months or so, and then suddenly find out that he has some bad habit or another that you had no clue about? I sure have.
The difference in this is that, in order to create intimacy, you have to do so with another living, breathing, unique individual. That's a process that two people have to make happen and there is a time influence involved. You can imagine this stuff all you want, but as soon as you throw that other person into the mix, there's another influence going on as well. The point of it is, that's really the part that makes it so much better.
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