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dove967 -> RE: So very very confused.... (2/25/2010 6:41:18 PM)
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I won't pretend to know your full situation or presumptuously give you advise on it. But, I can share with you my experience and perhaps you will find something to help you. My Daddy/Dom has ignored me-I mean cut off ALL contact altogether-wouldn't answer my calls, wouldn't return my voicemails, wouldn't return emails for about 4 weeks, wouldn't see me on 3 separate occasions in the last 9 months-we live in the same town, so I was used to daily contact and actually living together for some time. He did this without any warning whatsoever. It nearly devestated me. I was struggling through a hard time as well. It was after the fact, that he shared with me the reasons for these times of separation. He and I are both going through respective divorces and still maintain our separate homes even though our respective spouses have moved out of them. Needless to say, we are each going through personal journeys right now as well as our own journey as a couple. During two of the separations, he needed time alone to struggle through personal crisis as a result of the stresses of a difficult divorce. Had a breakdown of sorts and had to go to the hospital for about 30 days to get some professional help. The last time , was when I admitted myself to a local treatment and recovery center for 30 days. Each period of separation was necessary so either he or I could concentrate on our personal recoveries. Why did I tolerate him ignoring me? Because I KNOW THIS MAN. He would not initiate a period of no contact unless it was for either his benefit or mine. It was a tremendous test of my trust and faith in him. Has he had to regain my trust afterwards? Of course. But, he has more than proven his love for me several times in every way one can ask for. He has given his time, his money, introduced me to his daughter-even required me to wear my collar in her presence(she is 21yrs old) knowing that SHE understood what it represented. His coworkers have met me several times and know me to be the woman he loves. He has even confessed his intentions to his parents that he is very close to. What I didn't know at the time, was even while I was in drug rehab on an inpatient basis, although he chose to force me to focus on myself and my recovery by withdrawing contact, he confessed to me later that he parked his truck several times in the hospital parking lot and prayed for God to give me strength to make the most of my treatment. He took a huge gamble that I might come out of treatment not wanting to have anything to do with him. But, he was willing to risk losing me if it meant I became a healthier , better person. How could I not give him a chance to rebuild the trust that was damaged by his withdrawal? Looking back on it now, my love and trust in him has grown deeper because I know my Dom will do whatever it takes -even if I don't like it at the time-to make sure he and I are both healthy, whole, growing individuals. Otherwise how can we be a healthy, whole, growing couple? Daddy is the wisest and strongest man I have ever met and I believe he loves me more than any man I've ever been with before him. I don't know if this helps you, I hope it does.
Lovingly owned,
dove
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