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LanceHughes -> RE: ?? for ANYone with an opinion re men's clothing what is atttractive (2/26/2010 8:37:13 AM)
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And now, from the gay man's point of view:
OP: Develop your OWN Style (with a capital "S") You don't have to be "stylish." That's for the young'uns who follow the trends and who have not developed enough maturity to be their "own man." "Stylish" is for the older male who doggedly copies the GQ look, thinking he will get laid.
I get 3 compliments per week on
<----- this photo.
It is totally my style. You can tell alot about me from it, can't you? Relaxed, confident, Leatherman, ready to play. It's the lead from a porno spread I did about 7 years ago. When I asked photographer "What to wear?" he replied, "Whatever you think."
As I stripped off pieces, he took more shots.... d'oh. Quite a few of them have me in my 8" Carolinas (military-grade boots) with white tube socks stretched up another 2". One time, a sub reached down and pushed the socks down around the tops. Of course, he was trying to change my style to be more what his style was. We were DONE, instantly. And that's the whole point:
Do NOT let anyone else's ideas try to change you. You are who you are.
But, that's not an answer to "Okay, Lance. I see what you mean. But how do I develope my unique sense of style?"
First off, you need confidence that what you are wearing is best for you in a given situation. Here's where mags like GQ do come in. Look at them and decide whether you like the look for YOU. Metrosexuals do this to get their style. Homosexuals look at GQ and decide whether they like the way things look on the model. LOL! Only then, do they look for hints to adapt/adopt. Old book: "Dress for Success" - heavy on job interview, but good chapters on beach, casual, formal, etc.
Secondly, EXPERIMENT! Target has cheap knock offs of the latest styles. Go look..... If you say, "God! Why would anyone wear THAT?" "Tis not for YOU. Target (aka Tar-jhay in sarcastic gay-speak) and K-Mart (Gay-Mart) are going for volume. They are going for this year's fad/fashion that is bought, worn, and thrown away. Yes, yes.... I'm asking you to shop. Most males, myself included don't like to shop. I developed my style years ago and it hasn't changed one bit. I replace items only when worn out. (Notice: replace!!!) I get compliments on my clothing often. Secret.... it is my style, and I wear it confidently. THAT"S what just about every woman above has responded......
If you think you like it, try it on. If you think you like the fit, color and hang, buy it. You don't HAVE to ask "Does this make me look fat,"...... er,..... "Does this make me look good?" If it looks GREAT, the women will mention it. That's a keeper. If you wear it, say 5 times without comment, Goodwill, here we come. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thirdly, get a gay friend (specifically NOT a Metro) to be an advisor. Tell him your plan to develope your OWN style. If he deviates from your comfort zone into him playing Ken Doll with your body - well, there's plenty of gay men out there to make friends with. Women have known this secret for years - gay men make GREAT friends to discuss these issues with. Being a man, you need a little trust that your gay friend won't hit on you. This issue needs to be on-the-table first thing!!!! See, women don't have to worry 'bout that. There's even a term for such women: fag-hag (and that IS politically correct, by the way.) If I were in Chicago, lushy would be mine in a flash.
Gay friends in a long-term relationship would be a good choice. AND they can invite you and your lady friend over for a fabulous meal.... But, I digress and you need to hit the shopping circuit. At least to get some men's fashion mags. Do NOT ignore PlayBOY.... they have a fashion column (as I remember.) SOME bodybuilder mags do, too. The ones with "Ripped Abs in three weeks" on the cover, but not so much. However, they ARE oriented toward the Metrosexual, so they do cover some fashion. Flip through, buy it if you see fashion... NO subscription. Walgreen's is good place. If you're in a metro area, find the nearest Men's Fashion Wearhouse. Their slogan is "You'll look good. I guarentee it." If not in your area, why, that's why God gave us the internet!
Your photo here is pretty good...... one thing, though. You look uncomfortable. Now that you see we'all don't bite, try another. Same pose, but try a waist-fitted shirt, plain color broadcloth to match your eyes, 3 buttons undone to show some of those pecs you worked hard for. (If eyes are brown, go with pale green.) A little more smile, tip head to side as if saying to camera, "I'm interesting. I think you might be, too. Let's CMail and find out." The trite, but true phrase is "Make love to the camera." Twinkle in your eye, as if yu just saw a wonderful dessert of your favorite.... twinkle can be taught if I had you face-to-face.
Regards, Lance (who once took modeling classes, but went with Computer Programming instead.)
P.S. Follow this regret of mine: "I would've taken better care of myself if I knew I was going to live this long."
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