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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 9:44:43 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		I think people who lower their standards in order to engage in casual BDSM play are clowns.

http://www.pornclownposse.com/pornset1/destructo.html


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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to BLoved)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 9:46:33 AM   
winterlight


Posts: 1319
Joined: 2/18/2006
Status: offline 		keep doing this...ow...do it again....ow... why isn't this working?

bangs head again against the wall....wonders.....

(I got it but some people just don't.)

(in reply to BLoved)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 9:46:54 AM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline
quote:

I am a "Canadian-femsub-who-wrote-nothing-in-her-profile," and yet I have been able to find the most meaningful relationship I have ever had off this website.


That makes (at least) two of us. Hmmmm I'm starting to see a trend


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(in reply to Dominasola)
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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 9:47:31 AM   
BLoved


Posts: 642
Joined: 8/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dominasola
quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved

Low self-esteem is a result of never having been valued or loved.



In my experience, low self-esteem has nothing to do with whether or not one has been valued or loved, but rather everything to do with an individual's self-reflection.  I have been valued and loved my whole life, yet still struggle with self-esteem issues.  Perhaps some people have low self-esteem because of a lack of love in their lives, but it's one of those airy-fairy things that doesn't have a concrete cause.


Low self-esteem does not occur spontaneously causing a life-long struggle.


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When your bdsm paradigm makes love essential, expect some flack from those for whom love is anathema.

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 9:49:27 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved

Those with high self esteem won't tolerate as much, because they know better.




We aren't tolerating so much at the moment...guess our self-esteem is just fine.

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There's nowt so queer as folk


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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 9:51:49 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved

quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery
Maslow's hierarchy of needs highlights the problem.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/60/Maslow%27s_Hierarchy_of_Needs.svg



Wiki: Self-actualization



I Self-actualize sometimes............... but then I need to get my own warm towel


Jeff

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 9:55:12 AM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved

quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery
Maslow's hierarchy of needs highlights the problem.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/60/Maslow%27s_Hierarchy_of_Needs.svg



Wiki: Self-actualization


Belonging before self-esteem, dude. Then self-actualization.

Reading comprehension. Go slow at first. It will improve with practice.

By the way, late in life, he added a sixth, higher need: self-transcendence.

One step at a time.


(in reply to BLoved)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 9:57:42 AM   
BLoved


Posts: 642
Joined: 8/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself
quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved
Those with high self esteem won't tolerate as much, because they know better.

We aren't tolerating so much at the moment...guess our self-esteem is just fine.


You are confusing immaturity for high self-esteem.



_____________________________

When your bdsm paradigm makes love essential, expect some flack from those for whom love is anathema.

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Profile   Post #: 88
RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 9:59:20 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

I think people who lower their standards in order to engage in casual BDSM play are clowns.

http://www.pornclownposse.com/pornset1/destructo.html



DAMN YOU!!

lol

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
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Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 10:03:47 AM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

You are confusing immaturity for high self-esteem.


Which brings us back to Kirata's point.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata


Sometimes it pays to stop and consider that the way we see the world and others may be saying more about ourselves than them.

K.

(in reply to BLoved)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 10:04:12 AM   
BLoved


Posts: 642
Joined: 8/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery
quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved
quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery
Maslow's hierarchy of needs highlights the problem.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/60/Maslow%27s_Hierarchy_of_Needs.svg

Wiki: Self-actualization

Belonging before self-esteem, dude. Then self-actualization.

Reading comprehension. Go slow at first. It will improve with practice.

By the way, late in life, he added a sixth, higher need: self-transcendence.

One step at a time.


~smile~

If you think I feel a need to belong with a group of immature individuals then you've placed them on too high a pedestal.

I already belong with a group for whom I have greater respect: my friends and family.

No one in my world behaves the way people do on this site ... and I am proud of the difference.

I belong in a world where adults behave as adults, not bullies in the playground.

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When your bdsm paradigm makes love essential, expect some flack from those for whom love is anathema.

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Profile   Post #: 91
RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 10:05:14 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself
quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved
Those with high self esteem won't tolerate as much, because they know better.

We aren't tolerating so much at the moment...guess our self-esteem is just fine.


You are confusing immaturity for high self-esteem.




These people you are trying to battle (for whatever reason) are not immature. I have talked to many offline, and found them to be warm, insightful, supportive and extremely mature. At a time of great crisis in my life, I was supported by people on here, whom I had never met. They showed incredible maturity and support and for that they have my undying respect.

However they, like any other reasonable people, will get to a point where there's absolutely no point in maintaining their maturity because it's clearly a waste of time.

Try talking 'with' them instead of 'at' them and you may just change your opinion. Although from what I've seen in this and other threads you have started, you tend not to change your mind or show much tolerance to others who disagree.

*shrugs*

Like others have said in this thread, it's sad that you don't value others as highly as yourself just because your views on life are different. But that's your choice.

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There's nowt so queer as folk


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Profile   Post #: 92
RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 10:05:16 AM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline 		Well, this post clarifies it.

You're out to pick fights. Enjoy.

(in reply to BLoved)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 10:05:44 AM   
BLoved


Posts: 642
Joined: 8/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery

quote:

You are confusing immaturity for high self-esteem.


Which brings us back to Kirata's point.


MM, you are free to idolize and imitate the behaviour you witness here as much as you like.

Some of us have higher standards.


_____________________________

When your bdsm paradigm makes love essential, expect some flack from those for whom love is anathema.

(in reply to Musicmystery)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 10:06:28 AM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline 		Are you familiar with the Straw Man fallacy?

Other than practicing it, I mean.

(in reply to BLoved)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 10:08:07 AM   
InvisibleBlack


Posts: 865
Joined: 7/24/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved

quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery
Maslow's hierarchy of needs highlights the problem.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/60/Maslow%27s_Hierarchy_of_Needs.svg



Wiki: Self-actualization


I don't believe that anyone ever truly achieves "self-actualization" simply because people don't live long enough for it to be possible for them to realizee all of their potentialities. However, that being said, obviously some people are closer than others. In my experience, the ones who've gone farther than most don't claim or need to claim that they are "self-actualized" or any other sort of synonym.

That being said - according to the article you linked:

Common traits amongst people who have reached self-actualization are:
  • They embrace reality and facts rather than denying truth.
  • They are spontaneous.
  • They are interested in solving problems.
  • They are accepting of themselves and others and lack prejudice.



The vast majority of your posts that I've read are either condemning others for behaviors that you consider  inapporpriate or incorrect or complaining about some group of people in some way - as DominaSola said "negativity, negativity, negativity". For your own good, let that go. Let people be people and seek out what brings joy to your life without condemning others for doing so in their own way.

[Edited for typos.]

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 10:09:17 AM   
BLoved


Posts: 642
Joined: 8/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself
quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved
You are confusing immaturity for high self-esteem.


These people you are trying to battle (for whatever reason) are not immature.


Since "immaturity" is a subjective observation, I can only say you and I have very different experiences upon which to judge maturity and immaturity.

The people I've known who were "mature" would never think of behaving in the manner so obvious in this thread amongst your friends.

However, I've known such behaviour as we see here ... I was a kid, there were several bullies ...

I call it "immaturity".

If you've never known anyone to act more mature than your friends here, then you've nothing upon which to base a judgment.


_____________________________

When your bdsm paradigm makes love essential, expect some flack from those for whom love is anathema.

(in reply to myotherself)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 10:12:23 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to BLoved)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 10:12:28 AM   
BLoved


Posts: 642
Joined: 8/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: InvisibleBlack
  • They are accepting of themselves and others and lack prejudice.


    • And wherein is the problem?

    I accept myself and others as works-in-progress.

    I do not pre-judge anyone ... I judge based on behaviour.


    _____________________________

    When your bdsm paradigm makes love essential, expect some flack from those for whom love is anathema.

    (in reply to InvisibleBlack)
    Profile   Post #: 99
    RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 10:13:55 AM   
    myotherself


    Posts: 7157
    Joined: 3/9/2006
    From: The cold bit of the UK
    Status: offline     		sigh...how did I know it would end like this?

    I disagree with you, and that's just how it is. I've had more than my fair share of bullies too, and yet I'm not bullied here.

    As mature adults, we should agree to differ.

    _____________________________

    There's nowt so queer as folk


    (in reply to BLoved)
    Profile   Post #: 100
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