ChainedExistence
Posts: 507
Joined: 2/5/2005
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I am one of those rare posters, so when I do post it's because something really jumps out at me and makes me feel compelled to respond. When I first saw the title of this post, the girl in me said..."awww...that's so sweet and dear..someone looking for love", but nothing I saw after gave me that same response. I am all for honesty in what you are seeking, but it's the overall tone and lack of understanding for the dynamics of the Master/slave dynamic that gave me the most pause. I am sure you realize that there is supposed to be a real woman on the other side of that relationship that you seek-one with her own likes, dislikes, one with her own thoughts and opinions, one with her own desires and needs. Yes, a slave is going to want to please you, but that's not ALL she wants. She wants to be INSPIRED to please you. Most woman, and especially the pretty ones, could find ANY man willing to be her Dominant. What she wants is someone who makes her feel like being their slave. Obviously I am not putting myself up as a candidate, but let me tell you what attracted me to my Dominant, and what still makes me feel compelled to stay around years later.
1. He left me a bit of mystery. Women love to "discover" things about you. We like to feel like we have charmed you enough that you begin to open up to us with special information you don't give to everyone...you hate broccoli, you are scared of rollercoasters, you once sang outside a girl's window. It makes us feel like we are the ONLY one who really knows you.
2. He like to please me, too. My Dominant writes me the most amazing love notes, he pets my cats, he lets me put my cold feet on him in bed, he lets me argue with him about politics, he fixes things that are broken that I can't handle myself....you get the idea. It makes me feel cherished.
3. He values what I bring to the relationship- it's not ALL about him. Not so much now, but earlier in our relationship I knew more about the psychological aspects of what it is that we do..he could swing a mean paddle, but the little nuances that really hold the whole thing together were things he willingly learned from me. He still asks for my thoughts and opinions. He acknowledges things I can do better than he can.
4. He inspires me to be a better woman..for MYSELF and for him. -it was him who got me in better financial shape than I've ever been in my life...why? Because he led me to questioning myself on why I had money issues, and I began to see the value of being more financially responsible. He didn't do it by demanding my checkbook..he just INSPIRED me to get that part of my life in order. I went back to school because of his encouragement. I started to do better in my job, and in my life. He didn't beat me into these things. I wanted to be better woman because I felt like he deserved the best me I could give.
5. I admire him. His background was horrible also, but I saw in him a man that had risen above it- with ambition, with wit, with empathy for others, with intelligence, with talent and charisma. I am, to this day still honored to be his slave. At the same time, he made me feel like I was the most amazing woman he'd ever met, and let's face it...we all want someone who acts like they adore us, too.
6. He's AMAZING at the BDSM stuff I like (well, I did have to add that...it's important to both of us!), but he is still willing to experiment, to play around with different ideas...I can't say enough about what a creative person brings to the relationship. I am never quite sure which direction he's heading next, (that mystery thing again), but I am sure I want to stay around to see!
I read your profile...I saw a lot about you, what you wanted in looks, what you liked, disliked, tolerated, etc. but you never spoke to her-your ideal woman. What do you bring to her? What will make her feel inspired? You may find someone just perfect for you one day. You may be laughing at all of us who doubted it, but I think if you want that one day to come sooner...you'll give a little thought to that magical quality of inspiration. You inspire, and women, beautiful or otherwise, will beat a path to your door. Then you can afford to be more selective. (but don't give up on the less porn-star looking girls. They may have more to offer than you can imagine).
< Message edited by ChainedExistence -- 2/28/2010 7:19:35 AM >
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RE: I Need a Slave to Love - 
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