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lusciouslips19 -> GEtting back on the horse (2/27/2010 11:07:24 AM)
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Well, I now will never be right for BOB! Perhaps,that why I decided to stop the moratorium on casual sex.
So its been over a year since I did the horizontal tango. I had never in my life gone that long without. Thank God for batteries! This time away from BDSM and sex has been good for me. I wasnt in a frame of mind to enjoy a relationship without wanting to be saved or completed. The problems in my life and my anguish was too great. Job loss, sickness and death, love loss. Well, it was more than I could deal . I chose to be alone. Heal me.
My problems have not disappeared but I am in a much better place. I can now have an enjoyable relationship without neediness or desperation. Its doubtful that my lover will be one I am with long term. But hes very interesting and passionate and stimulating. HE challenges me.
So I will be there for dinner and breakfast and I may learn to make jewelery in the workshop.
I will fix myself up in my stilletos and thigh highs and low cut dress and be the vamp I have repressed for such a long time.
If you have suggestions, I'll take them but I think this is like riding a bike. I think I know how to do this.
Time to start fucking again. I deserve this healthy type of friendship and joy and intimacy whether I am in love or not.
One thing I know is some who are in the "true love" mode let off a desperation that is like skunk. Makes ya want to hold your nose and run away.
I celebrate that I am not desperate or needy but just open to all life has to offer.
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