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is he being sarcastic? - 2/27/2010 5:53:51 PM   
thepillowdreamer


Posts: 114
Joined: 2/26/2010
Status: offline 		i've been talking to this dude for a while, and tonight was supposed to be our first date. we both have a lot in common, aside from me being pretty sure that kink isn't his bag. i was pretty stoked about it because i haven't been on a date in months, and when i send him a voicemail telling him that i'm on my way, he replies that he's in the car with friends.

i respond with the expected wtf, and he texts back (i guess he'd be arsed to call, but we both have shitty reception) that i shouldn't have taken so long. i texted him to tell him that i took a half hour to shower and get the "bitch was askin' for it" look i haven't been feeling up to gussying up for.

he replies back, verbatim, "Oh man, sorry i ended up doing something, i feel really bad now :( "

he seems nice enough, but in my head that's all snide and sarcastic. same token though, i don't wanna jump the gun and be an asshole because i wrongly assumed he was being sarcastic.

...either way, i'm pissed and not sure wtf to say to him. i really like(d?) him.
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RE: is he being sarcastic? - 2/27/2010 6:01:22 PM   
SL4V3M4YB3


Posts: 3506
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: S.E. London U.K.
Status: offline 		Text is a crappy form of communication people always put their own interpretation to it.

Being sarcastic he probably would have ended it with :) rather than :(.

I just assume everyone is being sarcastic.

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RE: is he being sarcastic? - 2/27/2010 6:09:01 PM   
thepillowdreamer


Posts: 114
Joined: 2/26/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SL4V3M4YB3

Text is a crappy form of communication people always put their own interpretation to it.

Being sarcastic he probably would have ended it with :) rather than :(.

I just assume everyone is being sarcastic.


it totally is. i'm cool with it for when i'm bored in the waiting room and don't want to be "that bitch" who's on her phone, or during long rides in the car, shit like that, but not for real conversation.

you have a good point with the smiley thing, though.

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RE: is he being sarcastic? - 2/27/2010 6:13:27 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I would find someone that place a priority on spending time with you...

Just me, etc


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RE: is he being sarcastic? - 2/27/2010 6:20:39 PM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline 		My opinion he had no intention of meeting you or he is really that much of a jerk that says "you took too long"...if he really wanted to meet you what difference did it make how long it took for you to get ready.

Since I have been in simular situations, I would say blow him off.  No more communication and move on to someone else.  In my experience if you keep giving him chances it will be more of the same.

Good luck to you

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RE: is he being sarcastic? - 2/27/2010 6:28:14 PM   
MsMillgrove


Posts: 260
Joined: 5/27/2008
Status: offline 		what surprised me when i read this.. was how young you are, slim and trim. And you said you hadn't had a date in months. That just seems odd to me.

What are you doing with some nitwit texting you from the friends' car? You seem like you have aspirations, good balance in hobbies.. a Future. This bs is not worthy of you. You deserve a nice dinner, dancing. Fun. WTF is what i say too...

Rethink.. retool, you're worth it.

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RE: is he being sarcastic? - 2/27/2010 6:30:46 PM   
thepillowdreamer


Posts: 114
Joined: 2/26/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I would find someone that place a priority on spending time with you...

Just me, etc



your post speaks of truthiness. sorry- saw the colbert sig and had to ;)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DrkJourney

My opinion he had no intention of meeting you or he is really that much of a jerk that says "you took too long"...if he really wanted to meet you what difference did it make how long it took for you to get ready.

Since I have been in simular situations, I would say blow him off.  No more communication and move on to someone else.  In my experience if you keep giving him chances it will be more of the same.

Good luck to you


i'm not gonna call, not gonna text, nothing. if he has something more to say, he can damn well take this first step.

god, these answers were so fucking obvious. thanks for helping me out with this shit and putting up with my bitchfit over a little confusion. i do appreciate it and it's advice i'm gonna take with me the next time something like this happens.

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RE: is he being sarcastic? - 2/27/2010 6:34:16 PM   
thepillowdreamer


Posts: 114
Joined: 2/26/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsMillgrove

what surprised me when i read this.. was how young you are, slim and trim. And you said you hadn't had a date in months. That just seems odd to me.

What are you doing with some nitwit texting you from the friends' car? You seem like you have aspirations, good balance in hobbies.. a Future. This bs is not worthy of you. You deserve a nice dinner, dancing. Fun. WTF is what i say too...

Rethink.. retool, you're worth it.


eh, i've just been in a funk for a good long while. comes with living in the middle of nowhere ;)  thank you though, that really did a lot to hose down the shit that prick sprayed all over my night. and i am sorry for the drama - i just kinda got sideswiped and i'm not used to middle school tactics like fucking texting someone to ditch them, lol.

i guess it's time to have standards ;)

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RE: is he being sarcastic? - 2/27/2010 6:55:48 PM   
InvisibleBlack


Posts: 865
Joined: 7/24/2009
Status: offline 		Were you late? Like seriously half an hour or an hour or or something late?

If not - then what you're telling me is that while you were getting yourself ready for the night of romance and adventure you were expecting, he was blowing you off to hang out with his friends. Look, that says it all.

Assuming that you weren't horribly late, this guy is obviously not making you a priority or taking you seriously. Find someone who will. If this is how he acts on the first date, his behavior is not going to improve as things move on.



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RE: is he being sarcastic? - 2/27/2010 6:59:04 PM   
thepillowdreamer


Posts: 114
Joined: 2/26/2010
Status: offline 		the time was up in the air, but assumed within the hour. i took maybe half an hour to look nice before i called to leave a voicemail saying i was out the door.

i'm definitely going to stop letting people do this shit to me. kinda using MsMillgrove's "Rethink.. retool, you're worth it" as a mantra.

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RE: is he being sarcastic? - 2/27/2010 6:59:43 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Heck, when you talk to someone on line or the phone you don't "know" them. Until you actually meet, you are talking to a potential.

Treat them that way. You can have a lot of fun talking and texting, but don't take it too seriously. And sorry that your evening was ruined. Sounds like an immature twit to me.

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RE: is he being sarcastic? - 2/27/2010 7:26:44 PM   
DarlingSavage


Posts: 2808
Joined: 9/18/2009
Status: offline 		That guy was a complete idiot! You're a cutiepie! He would be a bad choice for making babies with, he's not bringing any intelligent DNA to the table!

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RE: is he being sarcastic? - 2/27/2010 7:42:40 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Sounds to me like the first date meant more to you than to him and that it hurt your ego to find that out.  I suspect that he was with friends and spent more time with them than he expected.  That's fine, but he should have told you what happened and asked for another ten minutes to say goodbye to them.  And laying it at your feet that you took too long - that's childish.

I would normally say that there are a helluva lot of men out there.  But since you're bi, there are twice as many possibles.  :)

Keep in mind that since you're a sub and he's vanilla, there was a pretty good chance it would not have worked anyway.


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RE: is he being sarcastic? - 2/27/2010 7:43:59 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		Hey....go out anyway! Go to a bookstore or whatever turns you on. You're all prettified - this guy has no idea what he missed out on.

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RE: is he being sarcastic? - 2/27/2010 8:06:51 PM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Easy.

just be busy for a while  "washing your hair".   it drives them nuts.

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RE: is he being sarcastic? - 2/28/2010 2:31:00 AM   
Lorenzo19


Posts: 237
Joined: 2/8/2010
Status: offline 		This question is making My head hurt. Yeah the pat answer is "get rid of the bastard". But these kinda things are more complicated than that.

Most girls. especially those that havnt dated in a while are looking for that special guy. So if you made a date with the guy you must be really liking him. Granted this guy's odds of being prince-charming-sweep-you-off-your-feet-we-aint -ever-gunna-part kinda guy are pretty low. But hey you wanna have some fun. get wined and dined and maybe a good bonking and ass spankin by a brad pitt look alike.

I need more info. Exactly how late were you? From what it sounds like you never even made it to the rondevous. How long did he wait for you? Did he call you to find out what the hold up was?

And you know even if I have more info what's it going to matter. Go with your gut feeling. Next time be right on time. then maybe you got a gripe if he doesnt show.



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RE: is he being sarcastic? - 2/28/2010 2:44:40 AM   
Lorenzo19


Posts: 237
Joined: 2/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

the time was up in the air, but assumed within the hour


Sorry just saw that. But it doesnt change My mind. Next time don't ASSUME. didnt your daddy teach you ass-u-me?

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Everything I needed to know about life I learned by killing smart people and eating thier brains.
Give Me your heart. Make it real. Or else forget about it.

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RE: is he being sarcastic? - 2/28/2010 3:17:31 AM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

Sorry just saw that. But it doesnt change My mind. Next time don't ASSUME. didnt your daddy teach you ass-u-me?

Shouldn't a Dom set the time for a meet if waiting will be an issue?
To me, this sounds like it was spur of the moment or loose rather than planned. She didn't leave him waiting somewhere, expecting her at a given time. Perhaps he made an ASSUMPTION of his own, since 1/2 hour for a female getting ready for a date is pretty damned speedy.



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RE: is he being sarcastic? - 2/28/2010 3:50:00 AM   
Fitznicely


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		Y'know, only getting his voicemail half hour after you said you'd meet would be a warning sign to me.

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RE: is he being sarcastic? - 2/28/2010 4:21:22 AM   
rockspider


Posts: 633
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline 		Being late for a first date or a no show should be the absolute sure way of insuring that there will no second date, unless there is a real good apology with a sure fire excuse to follow it up. Anything more than 30 minutes late is considered a no show as i have left the meeting place by then. It all really boils down to the old saying "why make somebody your priority when you are only an option to them". Just not worth the hasle.

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