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GF wants to be a dominatrix - 2/27/2010 11:22:10 PM

manrule

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So my girlfriend and I were talking. She brought up that he friends aunt is a dominatrix. Then she mentioned something along the lines that she wants to be one. And I chimed in that she would be a good one at that. So we talked about it another few minutes, but she doesnt know where to start.

I'm wondering, where did you all get your start? Can you point us in a direction so she can read up on what it takes.

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RE: GF wants to be a dominatrix - 2/27/2010 11:25:29 PM

domiguy

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Why does she want to be a dominatrix? How much does her aunt make doing it?

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RE: GF wants to be a dominatrix - 2/28/2010 12:03:06 AM

dreamerdreaming

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Why are you here asking strangers, when she could be asking her friend's aunt?

If she's too timid to do that, or even to come here and ask us herself, then maybe she's not very well suited for it.

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RE: GF wants to be a dominatrix - 2/28/2010 1:06:48 AM

stella41b

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Not everything in life starts with the written word, whether it be from a website or a book. Most things start with a simple idea and an attempt. Most things are learned by experimentation and trial and error.

If your GF really wants to be a domme then tell her to simply be one, together with the desire, motivation and ideas which enable her to define herself as a domme.

However if she wants to be a dominatrix as in get money from it then I'd suggest getting some lifestyle experience first (i.e. doing it for kicks, for fun, for free) and getting out there, making friends, attending munches and events and getting inspiration from other people and what they're doing. This is especially important because it requires a great deal of effort, investment, and people skills if it's going to be successful.

There's no one true way of doing anything here, only your own individual way and your own individual pathway through development. Accept that there's going to be problems, criticism, and hostility from others but this should be outweighed by the fulfillment, the friends you make, the satisfaction not to mention a whole load of other benefits.

All this from a bit of imagination, a few ideas, and the motivation and determination to be and to follow nothing more than your own definition.

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RE: GF wants to be a dominatrix - 2/28/2010 5:57:43 AM

DarkSteven

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Do you mean that she wants to do nonsexual pro sessions and get paid for doing them while keeping a vanilla relationship with you, or that she wants to be a Domme over you in a monogamous relationship? Or does she want a poly relationship over multiple men? Or is it something else?

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RE: GF wants to be a dominatrix - 3/1/2010 7:02:19 PM

littlesarbonn

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The answer to your question can be pretty simple. She gets her start by being dominant with someone. If that person is you, let her do what she wants to do. If it's someone else, then that's what she needs to do.

I've learned that you don't need this information to come from another person or from a manual. I was lucky in my past that MANY girlfriends I dated decided to become dominants because they discovered I was a known submissive (while dating me in a vanilla context). Some just went ahead and did it. Others learned from others. Several started out being dominant, then hooked up with women who really knew what they were doing. Some joined houses of domination and found a new career.

The opportunities and the possibilities are endless.

One thing I did discover, however, is that NONE OF THEM actually needed me to become dominants. Sure, I was lucky many times to be the recipient of their explorations, but in reality, they could have done what they wanted, and needed, sans me, and they would have done greatly regardless. Way too often, I felt that I "needed" to steer them to their new lifestyles, and that was almost always a mistake; sometimes because of my motives, and sometimes because I just got in the way.

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RE: GF wants to be a dominatrix - 3/1/2010 7:12:07 PM

manrule

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I found a book on Amazon about female supremacy that I;m getting her so she can read up. Don't know if she wants to be a pro-domme. When I talked to her about it i asked she start out with me but it was just quick talk. Hopefully we work on it more.

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RE: GF wants to be a dominatrix - 3/2/2010 4:46:06 AM

slavekal

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Read a good femdom short story with her...one that is not too complicated or involved. Then act out some or all of it with her. She can get her feet wet (literally).

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RE: GF wants to be a dominatrix - 3/2/2010 8:04:11 AM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: manrule

I found a book on Amazon about female supremacy that I;m getting her so she can read up. Don't know if she wants to be a pro-domme. When I talked to her about it i asked she start out with me but it was just quick talk. Hopefully we work on it more.

Not the sort of book I'd recommend for someone starting out.

I've reviewed hundreds of books about BDSM and human sexuality so if you want my advice (for what it is worth) send me a note and I can give a good starting dominant and starting submissive's list.

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RE: GF wants to be a dominatrix - 3/5/2010 7:58:19 PM

AcademyForSlaves

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Hi.

I got my start as a Domme when I came across the site GoddessClub.com years ago. I now work with those Mistresses as an Assistant Mistress. They used to charge for tutoring women but now they tutor women for free and I think that's fantastic. I don't know where I'd be if it wasn't for them. I learned so much about fetishes, how to train a sub male, and how to do it so we'd both enjoy it. Your girlfriend might like some of the free advice and info on the site and you might like the free clips and pics.

Hope this helps.

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