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CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: Cheating - What makes it so bad? (3/1/2010 3:47:59 AM)
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I haven't been cheated on, but I do have experience being the kid in a household (twice) when the husband is cheating.
AquaticSub brought up a lot of points that also affect the children, but I need to add some...as my own two cents worth.
What my father did broke up our family long before any divorce papers went through. He alienated a large part of himself from us, invested his emotional energies elsewhere. He wasn't home when he was home, if you know what I mean. I saw my mother degraded as her friends found out about different women he was having sex with...one was the lady who lived upstairs in our duplex, another was seen by my mother's best friend when she knocked on the door to talk to my mother. The "other woman" answered our door wearing my mother's negligee. Mom was stuck with the women she carpooled home from the factory with, they liked to eat out after work.
My dad's attitude changed. He acted like we weren't even his family anymore and that he deserved to take the best that life had for the picking. Sometimes he wasn't working and was watching us, so how did he find time for all this freedom to have wild crazy sex? He had a toddler and a kindergardener (too tired to spell correctly, so sorry if my spelling is terrible), so he used to lock us outside in the back yard, in the Florida heat for hours, without supervision. Other times, he used to drive us to some store's parking lot and leave us for hours, returning with no groceries and whipping us for peeing in the car.
Cheating can endanger the children in many ways.
Did he pay child support after the divorce? No, he needed all of his money for dating. He was free again, young, like we had never happened.
He tried to get my mom into swinging, and even tried to set her up with a wife swapping thing with his boss. Mom's answer was not what he wanted to hear. Why do some people think that they can have everything they want and damn the consequences? He should have chosen a wife who was into this and didn't mind, or kept his pants zipped. I know about this because I was only in the other room when they argued. Loudly.
Btw, my stepfather cheated as well. When he was drunk he used to brag that he loved to nail a whore in Ohio and come home without bathing and then have sex with his wife. Both times unprotected because he got jollies by having both of their body fluids on him at the same time. I'm lucky that the disease he brought home to her before she learned about this and bought and insisted on condoms EVERY TIME wasn't something like AIDS or hepatitis whatever. I could have had to watch my mother die because of his cheating.
When I was young... it's funny, but I didn't expect any man to be faithful to me. I thought all men cheated. I expected very little, and was very surprised that it didn't happen to me. But then, I was the first to bail out and hit the ground running as soon as some of my trust was broken. They didn't really even stand a chance.
This is also part of what makes cheating so bad. Sorry in advance if anyone finds it off topic.
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