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Men apologizing - 3/1/2010 9:31:22 AM   
Vendaval


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Status: offline 		There is an interesting article in Time about the differences between men and women and the act of apologizing. Do you agree or disagree with some of the points?



Why Do Men Keep Apologizing?

By BELINDA LUSCOMBE Thursday, Feb. 25, 2010


"Why is it that we're seeing more high-profile apologies from men than from women? One big reason is that there are far more men than women in high-profile positions — and thus more men who are liable to have something to publicly apologize for. But there's also some evolutionary biology involved.


"Researchers have long known that for women, saying sorry often and right after any offense is part of their conversational arsenal, one of the tools they use to keep relationships steady. It's more a course correction than a U-turn. Women are more likely than men to apologize when they're only partially to blame. They even say sorry when they're not at fault, as a way of expressing empathy. For men, an admission of a mistake has always been a little more fraught, tinged as it is with an acknowledgment of weakness. Therefore, the more alpha the male, the more difficult the fessing up."



http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1967904,00.html

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RE: Men apologizing - 3/1/2010 9:33:39 AM   
LaTigresse


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Status: offline 		Based upon the people I know, I would have to agree.

I have even told women things like "Don't tell me you are sorry! You didn't DO anything to apologize for!!"

I have never told a man that...


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RE: Men apologizing - 3/1/2010 9:34:53 AM   
Jeffff


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Status: offline 		If there was ever a need, I am sure I would apologize.


I mean I guess so..... it's never come up.


Jeff

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RE: Men apologizing - 3/1/2010 9:36:30 AM   
LadyEllen


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From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		Men apologising? Who ever heard of such a thing? The MO I observe is a quiet sulk until either the slight is forgotten or she apologises - or if the slight is against another man an outburst of aggression to prove the point as to who is in the wrong.

But then I am so middle class, yeah right

E

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RE: Men apologizing - 3/1/2010 9:37:01 AM   
domiguy


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Status: offline 		We, men, are such stinkers.

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RE: Men apologizing - 3/1/2010 9:53:07 AM   
BLoved


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval
Therefore, the more alpha the male, the more difficult the fessing up."


The more mature a man, the more secure he is in himself and the more willing he is to apologize for mistakes made.

On the other hand, the more mature a man is, the less likely he is to do anything that would require an apology.



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RE: Men apologizing - 3/1/2010 9:53:23 AM   
juliaoceania


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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I think I am going to email this article to Sinergy, because he does not understand the way women say "I'm sorry" all the time and insisted I quit apologizing... which has been HARD for me... still is in many ways.

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RE: Men apologizing - 3/1/2010 10:28:05 AM   
Vendaval


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Status: offline 		It's funny how saying, "I'm sorry" can have so many meanings depending on the situation. And it does seem to be a much more common behavior for women than for men. Most of the guys I know sulk and stonewall or become defensively aggressive.

Some of my friends will apologize for a situation that is aggravating even when they did not cause it at all. Sometimes this is confusing to me until stopping a moment and realizing that they are sorry about the aggravation but not taking the blame.





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RE: Men apologizing - 3/1/2010 12:38:15 PM   
pahunkboy


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Status: offline 		Men say anything necessary to score more sex.

I am so very very sorry.  

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RE: Men apologizing - 3/1/2010 2:14:08 PM   
DarlingSavage


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Status: offline 		I don't know if this is happening everywhere, but down here, people, both men and women, have taken to saying they were sorry over the most inane occurrences. I mean, I've had people nearly groveling at my feet because they accidentally brushed against me, most times, I didn't even notice. I'm exaggerating, of course, about the groveling, that is, but they were very profuse. I've taken to returning their apologies with an emphatic, "And DON'T let it happen AGAIN!" Then just giving them a friendly smile and telling them it's ok and I didn't even notice. Or sometimes I'll ask what they're apologizing for. I think it's funny, but I also think it's kind of sad that so many people feel this need to apologize thusly for such minor infractions that really aren't even that.

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RE: Men apologizing - 3/1/2010 4:39:23 PM   
Level


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Status: offline 		All I know is that I work with two women, and getting either of them to apologize is virtually impossible.

I, manly mofo that I am, am always willing to apologize, IF I have reason to. Just doing it to smooth shit over, doesn't happen very often.

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RE: Men apologizing - 3/1/2010 4:53:55 PM   
Lucylastic


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Status: offline 		Apologies are always welcome and I appreciate those that do, unless it is a blatantly bollocks sleezy apology
Getting them to admit they did anything wrong in the first place is the mountain to overcome and how many excuses and or rationalizations are given before an apology is forthcoming.
Says a lot about the calibre of person



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RE: Men apologizing - 3/1/2010 5:57:36 PM   
cloudboy


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The greater question for those on a MB is, "When do you ever receive an apology from an opponent on a message board when they are proven objectively wrong about something?"

To me, this is a very rare thing.

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RE: Men apologizing - 3/1/2010 6:01:09 PM   
Lucylastic


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Status: offline 		Ill let you know when it happens:)

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RE: Men apologizing - 3/1/2010 6:04:54 PM   
youngsubgeoff


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From: The Asylum
Status: offline 		If I know Ive messed up, then yes, I will apologize. However, if she's hurt by how I feel, no I will not. Its not wrong for me to have feelings.

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RE: Men apologizing - 3/1/2010 6:09:52 PM   
slaveluci


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From: Little Rock, AR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval
"Why is it that we're seeing more high-profile apologies from men than from women? One big reason is that there are far more men than women in high-profile positions — and thus more men who are liable to have something to publicly apologize for.

Yeah and another reason is that all America seems to demand a public apology for is some type of sexual indiscretion. And either it's only men who are committing them (very highly unlikely) or only men are determined to NEED to apologize for such things. I can't figure it out either

luci



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RE: Men apologizing - 3/1/2010 7:38:41 PM   
servantforuse


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Status: offline 		It's the politically correct thing to do in these times. They only do it when they get caught..

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RE: Men apologizing - 3/1/2010 8:19:18 PM   
Musicmystery


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Status: offline 		I'm sorry, but I never apologize.

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RE: Men apologizing - 3/1/2010 8:24:09 PM   
sappatoti


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From: the edge of darkness...
Status: offline 		What is this thing called an apology? Is it something you use? If so, when?

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RE: Men apologizing - 3/1/2010 9:18:55 PM   
Lashra


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Status: offline 		I don't say I am sorry, unless I have a good reason too. I have had people say this to me (mainly females) and I could never figure out WHY when they hadn't done anything. I guess it is that empathy thang going on.

BTW my father is an alpha male and he always apologizes if he needs too. I think it just shows good up bringing and manners. Anyone who cannot apologize or show some empathy has got some issues that need to be addressed with a therapist. Either that or they need to still be swinging from trees.

~Lashra


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