Can a profile be sugar coated?? (Full Version)

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knees2you -> Can a profile be sugar coated?? (9/11/2004 7:14:40 AM)

[:)]Hello there,
just wondering I've been reading alot of profiles
lately, and was just wondering if anybody ever read
a profile that looked sugar coated. Ive seen just a few.[:D]. {to good to be true}

Sincerely, eyesodAslave~[;)]

quote:

" If the shoe fits, it's probablly not Yours~"

[image]local://upfiles/19655/76E6557AED214993B1E3F0DBFEA7A3B2.gif[/image]



smilezz -> RE: Can a profile be sugar coated?? (9/11/2004 7:34:41 AM)

Egadz! yes! i have seen many over the years....and wayyyyyyyyyyyy back when, i even took a chance at meeting a few. Good gawwwwddd <rollz my eyez>

I remember actually doing a first scene with one person that i had been chatting to online and on the phone, we eventually got together and after a few in person chats decided to scene. Ohhhhhhhhhman, i actually kept looking at my watch, then turned around and asked him if he wanted me to show him how to use that toy ...jeezzzuss. There are a some out there that can "Talk the Talk" but truthfully have no idea...ughz!
I guess this was one of my many lessons in life that i had to find out....so yeah, there is some sugar coating going on....those are the ones we just weed through.

Hope y'all have a great weekend... (am off to find my beloved Notre Dame game on tv)
YAY!!!! go N.D. *chucklez*


~smilezz~



knees2you -> RE: Can a profile be sugar coated?? (9/11/2004 7:39:57 AM)

[:)] Smilezz,
Wow what an experience. Don't know if anybody can top
that~

Sincerely, eyesofAslave[;)]

[image]local://upfiles/19655/8E410C86670B4FB3BE312CD3AAA91D1B.gif[/image]



MaitresseEden -> RE: Can a profile be sugar coated?? (9/11/2004 9:04:17 AM)

Usually with some lengthy discussion you can see through the sugar coating. Not always however.. must most oftently you can.

Ms.Eden



Laura -> RE: Can a profile be sugar coated?? (9/11/2004 9:12:35 AM)

I thought you meant something else by sugar coating. I find profiles that say they would like to find people to chat with annoying. Each time I write to them I'm disappointed. Most of them send a line or two rejecting me as a partner (I wasn't offering to be a partner, just talk). Then there are those who take any contact as a committment to meeting up for sex. There is one guy I enjoy talking to through CollarMe. But, I've sent "let's talk" notes to at least 20 people. I'm trying to be less friendly as I realize those who say they want to talk fooling themselves.



Destinysskeins -> RE: Can a profile be sugar coated?? (9/11/2004 9:33:48 AM)

Stop looking at my profile! [:D]

*laughs* ok, now seriously......Can a profile be sugar coated? Hmm, can people lie through their gawd forsaken teeth? *ponders* I'd like to take Hell Yes for $200 Alex.

smilezz - oh, geez.....that experience certainly deserves a Discover (or whatever that credit card is!) Priceless status!

Yeah, you can usually tell who the posers are after talking to them briefly. But hey, what sort of amusing stories would we have to tell if there weren't so honest to goodness idiots out there? See, a place for everyone and everyone in their place [;)]

As for the people who say they just want chat buddies but then send out refusal letter to you, Laura.....well, i can relate to that. i'm pretty much in the same boat and you wouldn't believe how many people try to eventually subjugate you under the thin guise of friendship. So, in a lot of cases You're probably just dealing with a little oversensitive paranoids! See, doesn't that make you feel better?!

Well wishes!



happypervert -> RE: Can a profile be sugar coated?? (9/11/2004 10:01:27 AM)

Of course a profile can sugar coated; some are complete fiction; others will have some fiction, and others (like mine probably) will simply try to accentuate thte positive and conveniently ignore less attractive aspects of our personalities.

So the only profiles that are accurate are the ones where the person is whining, complaining, and otherwise just plain nasty. So you can respect those for their honesty and then reject them for not having the sense to make a better ad, and then skip on until you find one that seems too good to be true so you can send off a note and flirt.



Suleiman -> RE: Can a profile be sugar coated?? (9/11/2004 10:41:55 AM)

::Scratches head in confusion::

You mean there are people on the internet who LIE about who they really are?!?



gitta -> RE: Can a profile be sugar coated?? (9/11/2004 11:10:56 AM)

giggles, sugar coated??

More like drenched in molasses!! Some folks feel the need to present a front in order to attact others, is human nature for them. Others make a choice to see what they want, is human nature for them.

Funny story....have a dear friend of many years..His old profile states He was a Dom with 12 years experience, which is very true. So after knowing Him a few months i went to a munch in LA with Him, then to a club afterwards.(i need to say this is a man whos name most know, so He had never been to a public venue before) We are standing there watching a lite flogging scene and He looks at me and says, "Is this what all BDSM folks do??" So i proceed to ask how many subs He had experienced, He replied "three", asked Him if they had never wanted a flogging...He replied "Oh no, they were vanilla and i trained them" After a few minutes that it took for me to compose myself i asked what He did with His subs...not going to give specifics of the reply, but it was sexual in nature and very much BDSM related. He knew the books and was a Dominant man, just not experienced. End of story, found Him a Mentor, and He often used my body to learn to use a flogger and read the response...to this day we are the best of friends. He has a wonderful sub now and they have enjoyed learning the lifestyle together. See in His eyes He did not coat, He simply had a different view.

Best i can suggest is to learn more about someone than the words on a profile...



Laura -> RE: Can a profile be sugar coated?? (9/11/2004 11:38:32 AM)

That's why X years of experience is meaningless. A sub needs to know if he knows how to use a flogger, bondage, or whatever other fetishes/ toys are involved. Years of experience are worth squat if he's holding a whip for the first time or experimenting with breath play. You're still the one who could wind up needing a hospital.



gitta -> RE: Can a profile be sugar coated?? (9/11/2004 2:14:11 PM)

smiling.....the point of my last post was that people see things differently. This thread is about sugar coating..least is what i read.

This man NEVER attempted to use a whip or flogger until AFTER he was well trained by a skilled Dominant, and then i OFFERED with my Masters consent and observation that He learn to read a body using mine. This was not a Man with ill intent, he did not chase subbies and to this day has NEVER harmed one. He just had a different view as to what BDSM was composed of.

Again always do your research, ask others, talk for a long while...and never trust blindly.



Sinergy -> RE: Can a profile be sugar coated?? (9/11/2004 8:36:49 PM)

I have an acquaintance who wrote about the psychological effects of the internet for his Master's thesis. I suspect he would publish it under his real name (Michael Tresca) on the web.

For me, I have seldom met anybody on the internet who knew what being a peurile and obstreporous pedant was without coaching, which may explain why I have generally viewed meeting people on the internet with some distaste.

Sinergy



WayHome -> RE: Can a profile be sugar coated?? (9/12/2004 7:13:30 AM)

I know how you feel. It's tough enough just to find someone who can SPELL obstreperous or puerile. [;)]

Leto



LadyAngelika -> RE: Can a profile be sugar coated?? (9/12/2004 11:02:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: happypervert

Of course a profile can sugar coated; some are complete fiction; others will have some fiction, and others (like mine probably) will simply try to accentuate thte positive and conveniently ignore less attractive aspects of our personalities.


Perhaps my most favourite topic in the world to discuss, write about, include in my art, meditate on… Perception

HP – You hit the nail right on the head. We always put our best foot forward. Do you think I’m going to list my personal issues in my profile? Ha ha! Erm… I don’t think so. (Everyone has issues and was is most important is that we are aware of them and we have something set in motion to deal with them.) I tend to put my best high-heeled foot forward.

As far as going beyond the surface, we will only ever see what someone wants to show us unless we decide to look further and do a little investigation on our own. I’m not saying hire a detective. In fact, if it is that hard to get someone to open up to you, move on. I’m just saying that open communication with someone is the best approach.

As for gitta’s story, I appreciated you sharing that with us. I felt very much the same way for a while when I started out. The way I went about learning techniques was to bottom in an S&M context (which is enjoyable for me). I can now tell my subs that I have a very good idea of what it is they are feeling when I inflict something on them, all except for CBT of course ;)

- LA



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