Slaveboiz
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Just a few thoughts on preparing ones self for service>
Thank you for your time
One of the questions often asked is “what do you have to offer?” I find this is often the defining moment for most Masters when considering a slave.
During this presentation we will look at how one might prepare for service beginning with understanding what service is and how it pertains to the type of relationship we are looking for. We will explore the process of preparing for service and some tangible ways to get to “what do you have to offer?”
What is service? In the M/s relationship service can be any act that improves the quality of life of another or that meets the needs of another. Service generally is focused in the areas of personal / formal service, sexual service and BDSM.
In addition, service may also be to the relationship and is NOT restricted to what the slave or sub does for the Dominant or Master, but also what the Dominant or Master does for the relationship.
Types of Service: It goes without saying that a big part of a M/s relationship centers on the service a slave does for one’s Master. Any one, or all of the below services type act as a way to enhance the Master slave dynamic
Personal and formal service: Personal service is the most common type of serve offered to a dominant or master by the slave. It includes such services as valet service, household management or formal service, and personal assistant type services. Other forms of service include sex and SM.
In most D/s or M/s relationships there are huge over laps in these types of serve. One thing to address is what either or both parties want in terms of these services. There are D/s relationships that only require one or two of these types or there are others such as M/s relationships that require all forms of service as part of the relationship.
Service to the relationship: When talking about service to the relationship most often this is less demonstrative in nature and is most often the part of service that the Master gives. The Master may make decisions that are in the best interest of not only the slave but also his or her betterment. A prime example of this may include requiring the slave to take a class at a local collage. This requirement may take the slave out of the home during a time when service is normally performed, such as in the evening when dinner is served. The Master is in a position of always considering his or her needs verses that will ultimately be needed for the betterment of the relationship. The Master may choose to give up one form of serve to gain another. This can sometimes be a challenge for most slaves who wish to “do it all.” As a slave I must remember that my desire to serve should not out weigh Master’s service to the relationship. Its a tough one sometimes.
Service to the community: The Masters choice to serve the community falls right in line with the authority to make such decisions. However, the slave’s desire to do so may bring about questions about ones desire to serve with a single focus. The thing to remember here is that again, all that is done is at the wishes or intent of the Master. A slave with the talent to teach or to be a leader is often seen as not a slave at all but rather something that is more ego driven; this is never so far from the truth. If the role of a Master is to exploit the talents of the slave for the Masters purpose or if the Master is charged with making the slave be the best the he or she can be, then allowing that slave to exercise those talents is in the best interest of both the Master and the slave as well as the relationship.
It has always been my feeling that we are made stronger as individuals by the work we do as a community, subs or slaves are no exception to that rule. Again, remember the concept that all that I am and all that I do, is in service to Master.
As a side note: If you are not in a D/s type relationship and worry about what potential Dominants or Masters would think of you being in service to the community then I would wonder if that dominant or master is a good fit.
Multidimensional service: As I think about service and how it is actualized I come to understand that it is through service that the power exchange reveals itself. It is not necessarily just the power given to the Master by the slave, but also the authority given to the slave. By this I mean that there is a certain authority given to the slave to handle things with the Masters wishes and intent in mind. For example: a slave maybe given the authority to make arrangements for the Master in travel. The slave will make those arrangements with the wishes and intent of the Master in mind.
Slaves that serve long term may be give authority in other areas such as financial distribution or domestic operations: paying the bills or taking care of the house or even raising the kids.
Most often we see service as a one-dimensional concept. By this I mean that it includes only those things that are directly of service to the Master; like cooking and serving dinner. However, if we take a moment and look at all the things that a slave may be required to do we see that service is not one- dimensional.
When I think of multidimensional service I think of slaves that work outside the home or who are raising children. It is here we mistake service with dominance and control
The slave that works outside the home in a managerial position or who is raising children often finds themselves in a juxtaposed position in their slavery to their Masters. Often stating “ I dominant in every aspect of my life accept to Master.” ie “the dominant slave.”
I feel where we miss that mark in this idea, is that if a slave were to think in terms of every thing they do is in service to ones Master then they are never really out of the mode of being a slave. Whether that role is as a CEO of a fortune 500 company or a stay at home mom. Service is still service and it is still following the wishes and intent of the Master.
Furthermore, I feel when a person tries to apply two apposing personality traits with in one’s self there is created a inner struggle to find peace in what must be done day to day and the need to stay in sub/slave head space. By looking at what we do day to day and in understanding dependent thinking verses independent thinking, we come to understand and accept that our roles and actions as for one purpose: to serve the Master.
Preparing for service: In my time in the lifestyle I have noticed this desire to find the perfect fit. Although it is true that when you find him or her, they will train you according to their wants and desires. However, remaining dormant will not help you answer the two most important questions a negotiating Dominant or Master will ask. What do you have to offer and what work have you done in preparation for service. Lets look at some ideas
Emotional preparation: It is often easy to determine what the other person will be like. It may also be easy to determine the nature of the relationship you ultimately want, but we say little about what we have to offer. Often times, I have people asking what is the process of finding a Master. To that I offer, begin with what you know about yourself.
Personal inventory: Before beginning your life of service, take some time to do a personal inventory about your life. What is your experience? Have you been in a D/s relationship before? If not, what kinds of relationships have you been in? What worked and what didn’t and what part did I have in it not working? Include what you feel your true personality type is. Are you empowered in your own life outside D/s? Do you have all the prime directives in place? What skills do I have either personally or professionally that can assist me in my service to another? These questions will help get you started in you search for a service related relationship.
Asking and answering the hard questions: Many of us are able to say what our fantasies are around control and sex or what turns us on. But when entering the search for a service-oriented relationship we often fail to ask and answer the hard questions. Such as: What is my current life like? What and I missing? Why should I serve? Do I have the time to devote to service and or training? What are my wants and needs? And yes, what are my expectations? How out am I? Will D/s be full time or part time? If I have a family how will my desire to be in a D/s relationship affect that? Will sex be a part of service and how important is it? Are my desires doable and what is it about myself I would like to change? These are only a few questions that one can ask prior to beginning to search for the perfect partner. From there we begin to look at the physical aspects of preparing for service.
Physical preparation: Physically preparing for service does not necessarily mean getting into shape. Although, taking care of ones physical well-being may very well enhance your ability to find a Master or slave that appreciates your self discipline in this area. After all we want to look our best.
Aside from actually being in good physical shape, physically preparing could very well mean looking for information and experience. Seeking out opportunities to learn about service and what it means from other slaves or subs can be useful in determining what we are looking to offer. It may also mean attending classes that teach about the formal aspects of service? BDSM classes can often be of help. Time management or personal growth classes are sometime helpful as well. Getting involved with a group may also help one to understand certain types of service and various relationship types and their dynamics.
Another idea I like is “training for training sake” No one says that you have to wait to learn or be in service. Mistress and I have taken people on for short periods simply to give them different experiences in serving different people. This is more often seen as mentoring. It may or may not be sexual and may or may not be SM related. We not only encourage slaves to do this but Dominants and Masters as well.
Opening one’s self up to a variety of experiences allows us to gather more information not only about service but also about ourselves. Like any SM scene, there will be things that worked and things that didn’t. It’s all valuable information for the future.
Service and the empowered slave: In modern day slavery we find more and more slaves with a sense of empowerment. This is most often found in slaves that serve as away to allow the Master to follow his of her goals ie work and community. Many service-oriented slaves handle a great deal for their Master but how much is too much? At what point does the slave actually hobble their Masters?
Early on in our relationship we recognized that for many slaves taking care of everything often times hobbles the master, putting him or her in a vicarious position. By being given the authority to “handle things” Master often finds themselves in the position of “not knowing” It is at this point I wonder if the authority to do things has actually taken power from the Master often making the Master incapable of doing for him or herself.
We made a joke about how one Master had released his slave and couldn’t make his own coffee and then that happened to my Master.
There is a fine line to be drawn here with regards to power and authority. The slave has a strong drive to serve and to handle things for the Master and that is the agreement. Most Masters don’t want to know how to make pizza they just want to eat it and most empowered, service- oriented slaves do not wish to burden their Masters with the details of the service they offer.
So where does one draw the line in serve? Is there such a thing as too much service?
Another area I find as a challenge, even in my own slavery, is what happens in my head as a slave. If I am used to handling things as a slave and then for some reason I cant, I feel as though I have failed my Master by not providing the agreed upon service. Then what?
I have often heard that “old stand by” about being master’s property and how important it is to take care of that property. Sometimes that means allowing the Master to take on tasks that normally would be the slaves responsibility. In essence taking care of Master’s property in the moment, lessons the time away from normal day-to-day service.
By allowing Master to take on the role of caring for the slave during the time when slaves cannot care for themselves or their Masters, allows the Master to exercise his or her own abilities to care for themselves.
If the idea is that M/s is for the betterment of both the master and the slave and is about meeting the needs of both parties it is my opinion that great care should be given not to hobble the Master or damage the slaves psyche
Service verses obedience: In a recent interview I was asked is it better to serve or obey and why? If we are to talk about service as it pertains to any form of D/s it is important to address this concept.
Obedience, in any D/s relationship is a cornerstone and is the responsibility of the slave. Without obedience what is the point in the power exchange? However, in long term M/s relationships there may be times when service outweighs obedience. We see this more in terms of health issues. An example of this may be that the Master is on a special diet due to health reasons. It is here when service is more to the relationship then directly to the Master, but disobedience is rare when the Master has given a previous direction, such as in the “Prime Directives” and then slave is called upon to help the master. Again we are referring to serving the good to the relationship as a whole.
Conclusion: As we look at service and our desire to do so, we see that it is multidimensional and it rarely takes any one form. Whether we desire to serve or be served, the success of any D/s or M/s relationship hinges on our knowing ourselves; asking and answering the hard questions and a good deal of preparation. The goal is become better individuals so that we succeed in our desire to be of service and to meet the needs of the relationship
Thank you for your time and consideration.
slave ziggy
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Preparing for service - 
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