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How do these people survive? - 3/29/2006 9:17:15 PM   
DameDarkness


Posts: 341
Joined: 10/1/2004
Status: offline 		How do these people survive?

ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets

TWO I was checking out at the local Walmart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider," looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her " I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM " thingy."

FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

FIVE E Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

SIX I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
SEVEN My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

EIGHT Police in Radnor, PA interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

NINE A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and it should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency room!


Life is tough.

It's tougher if you're stupid

_____________________________

Into the night sky I fly through distant lands and darkened streets... Up into the clouds to play and dance with the moon.....To the hearts of all and I say to you be true to they own heart.
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RE: How do these people survive? - 3/29/2006 9:27:59 PM   
Pavel


Posts: 308
Joined: 1/10/2005
From: Washington
Status: offline 		This of course proves that darwin was wrong.

As not only have these stupid people managed to survive, but they're breeding too, thus making natural selection a farce, as in a proper darwinian system, they'd long since been done in by a badger, or somthing.


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RE: How do these people survive? - 3/30/2006 12:27:35 AM   
RubberWitch


Posts: 1368
Joined: 7/27/2005
Status: offline 		It doesn't disprove Darwin, it proves society has altered in such a way as inteligence has ceased to be a Darwinian factor.

]v[acula

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RE: How do these people survive? - 3/30/2006 6:20:36 AM   
Reilithion


Posts: 25
Joined: 3/27/2006
Status: offline 		I agree with RubberWitch. We should really re-introduce natural selection into our society somehow. I'm not saying we should execute stupid people or anything, but can't we just take the safety labels off everything and let the problem solve itself?

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RE: How do these people survive? - 3/30/2006 6:50:35 AM   
RubberWitch


Posts: 1368
Joined: 7/27/2005
Status: offline 		Chip and pin helps. Anyone too stupid to remember 4 digits will starve to death

but then again, we sort of need the morons of the world to pay for stuff. Who else buys SunnyD
or XBox games

J

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RE: How do these people survive? - 3/30/2006 8:13:54 AM   
vonzott


Posts: 39
Joined: 2/26/2005
From: San Diego, CA
Status: offline 		What frightens me isn't that these people are ignorant.  What scares the Hell out of me is that these people *VOTE*!

Yikes!

_____________________________

vonzott
proud slave to Domina Angelina
    - so many Dominant Women, none as wonderful as She

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RE: How do these people survive? - 3/30/2006 8:39:35 AM   
Pavel


Posts: 308
Joined: 1/10/2005
From: Washington
Status: offline 		I was mostly being sarcastic.  (I'm really a "intelligent design is likely the way to go, but there's no need to teach it in schools" person).

Voters are dumb.  If you put a proposition in front of them enslaveing them, but promiseing a tax cut, it'd pass overwhelmingly.

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RE: How do these people survive? - 3/30/2006 8:56:16 AM   
AngelaK


Posts: 101
Joined: 2/27/2006
Status: offline 		My husband proposes engineering a "stupid virus" that would kill off humans below a specific IQ level (say 110). It wouldn't take effect until after puberty (because hormones make everyone stupid). The initial infection would create problems though -- imagine the smell!

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RE: How do these people survive? - 3/30/2006 8:54:39 PM   
DameDarkness


Posts: 341
Joined: 10/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: vonzott

What frightens me isn't that these people are ignorant.  What scares the Hell out of me is that these people *VOTE*!

Yikes!
 
THUS WE GET BUSH IN WHITE HOUSE............and he has already proven to the USA that ignorance is bliss.
 
quote:

I was mostly being sarcastic.  (I'm really a "intelligent design is likely the way to go, but there's no need to teach it in schools" person).

Voters are dumb.  If you put a proposition in front of them enslaveing them, but promiseing a tax cut, it'd pass overwhelmingly.

 
UNFORTUNATELY THIS IS TRUE AND IRONICALLY EVEN INTELLIGENT PERSONS WILL FALL FOR IT..........damn fools.
 
 
quote:

My husband proposes engineering a "stupid virus" that would kill off humans below a specific IQ level (say 110). It wouldn't take effect until after puberty (because hormones make everyone stupid). The initial infection would create problems though -- imagine the smell!  
 
HOW WOULD THIS WORK WITH PREGNANT PERSONS.............remember even pregnant women get hormonal.
 
D
 
 


_____________________________

Into the night sky I fly through distant lands and darkened streets... Up into the clouds to play and dance with the moon.....To the hearts of all and I say to you be true to they own heart.

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RE: How do these people survive? - 3/30/2006 11:44:28 PM   
RubberWitch


Posts: 1368
Joined: 7/27/2005
Status: offline 		I'd suggest a viral coating with a particular weakness to hormones. That way, you'd survive the first wave of the virus if you were stupid AND pregnant. (or 19 as we say round here). The kid may always turn out alright, and if you don't get your act together by the time your hormone levels go down, it'll get you next time round.

Remember, it's not that dificult to raise your IQ.

J

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RE: How do these people survive? - 3/31/2006 10:11:43 AM   
DameDarkness


Posts: 341
Joined: 10/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RubberWitch

I'd suggest a viral coating with a particular weakness to hormones. That way, you'd survive the first wave of the virus if you were stupid AND pregnant. (or 19 as we say round here). The kid may always turn out alright, and if you don't get your act together by the time your hormone levels go down, it'll get you next time round.

Remember, it's not that dificult to raise your IQ.

J


TRUE unless you dont have the want to raise it......then your twice as screwed cause your stupid and have no gumption.

D 

< Message edited by DameDarkness -- 3/31/2006 10:12:30 AM >

_____________________________

Into the night sky I fly through distant lands and darkened streets... Up into the clouds to play and dance with the moon.....To the hearts of all and I say to you be true to they own heart.

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RE: How do these people survive? - 3/31/2006 10:27:49 AM   
MissyRane


Posts: 1032
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline 		For real...everybody can have their blonde moments...and they can be bad....<knows from experience..and it's just so embarrassing..but it's always good if you can make people laugh

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RE: How do these people survive? - 4/1/2006 8:10:06 PM   
waterssoul


Posts: 1
Joined: 3/19/2006
Status: offline 		And which one of you intelligent persons...is in charge of deciding on others fates

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RE: How do these people survive? - 4/1/2006 9:16:27 PM   
feylin


Posts: 182
Joined: 3/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

And which one of you intelligent persons...is in charge of deciding on others fates


Excellent question! <smiles>  I was humbled by the fact that so many of the judges were right here on CM.  What luck! (I hope they can be bribed, I think I just missed the cut off on the I.Q. limit.)

<casts a cautious look up into the sky in case any of the Raelians called down their mothership.>

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RE: How do these people survive? - 4/1/2006 11:42:57 PM   
subtlesubie


Posts: 138
Joined: 1/5/2006
Status: offline 		Before you set out on your little eugenics programs, you might want to check the authenticity of the original post.  I don't want to throw a wet blanket on any misanthropes, but I think the above is a collection of urban legends.  Good thing were not planning those concentration camps for the gullible, huh?!      

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RE: How do these people survive? - 4/2/2006 11:23:24 PM   
Reilithion


Posts: 25
Joined: 3/27/2006
Status: offline 		I think we should put the self-defined eugenics program into effect. We ask each person to define eugenics. If they can't, we shoot them. *nodnod*

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RE: How do these people survive? - 4/3/2006 3:24:27 AM   
RubberWitch


Posts: 1368
Joined: 7/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlesubie

Before you set out on your little eugenics programs, you might want to check the authenticity of the original post.  I don't want to throw a wet blanket on any misanthropes, but I think the above is a collection of urban legends.  Good thing were not planning those concentration camps for the gullible, huh?!      


Ah, one of those people who has yet to realise that a story doesn't have to have happened for it to be true. There are morons out there, and I'm sure you've encountered a few, and thought boy wouldn't the world be better without them. If not, I'm sure theres a reason.
May I suggest repeatedly doing IQ tests and mind games (eg crosswords, sudoku, anagrams etc), before the westminster virus is launched?

]v[

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RE: How do these people survive? - 4/3/2006 7:39:57 PM   
Saratov


Posts: 1716
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		Ya mean that slide out thingy on the computer isn't a cup holder?!?

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