RE: Sex talk at middle school upsets parents, students (Full Version)

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domiguy -> RE: Sex talk at middle school upsets parents, students (3/6/2010 9:19:56 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: intenze


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage

I knew what a blow job was by that age, but I didn't learn it from school or my parents. [8|]

heh.
Seriously though, did you know the truth about STD's being transferred by bjs? That is where parents and teachers come into play.


This is exactly why the "game" or the "talk" no matter how repulsed some parents might be over the descriptive manner in which it/they are administered their kids know and are usually up to much worse.

Fuck. I knew about weed when I was twelve and tits and holes when I was around the same age. Nothing goes better with a "J" then some Marshall Tucker Band, some Strohs beer and a couple of tits and holes. I grew up in a pleasant little mid state Wisconsin town. No internet, tweets or facebook. We had heard and saw it all before we stepped into highschool (9th grade).




DarlingSavage -> RE: Sex talk at middle school upsets parents, students (3/6/2010 9:35:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: intenze


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage

I knew what a blow job was by that age, but I didn't learn it from school or my parents. [8|]

heh.
Seriously though, did you know the truth about STD's being transferred by bjs? That is where parents and teachers come into play.


No, I was just told that if I gave it up I was a whore and a slut and if I didn't I was a prude and a tease. That's what my parents had to say. That and "Don't you dare come home pregnant or we'll kick you out of the house!"

ETA: and that was BEFORE I became sexually active at age 13.




came4U -> RE: Sex talk at middle school upsets parents, students (3/6/2010 12:28:04 PM)

quote:

Actually, my home is where my daughters will learn about sex education. Why would I rely on school to teach something so important? It may supplement what I have already discussed with them, but it will not be their first and most important source.


Agree with Aileen there. (as in the FIRST source).

In my instance, (at the third grade level) by parents NOT being told beforehand of the cirriculum, it is akin to the article in which they said 'do not tell your parents'...Not much of a difference really.

At that young of an age, one wouldn't assume you'd have to 'rely' on anyone to teach them anything. Is the sneaky way schools go about it sometimes that aggrivates me.

To assume I (or anyone) am unfit because I (and others) were unaware of the topic being discussed at that time is ludicruous. If that were the case, these parents (as in article), and countless others who were not notified of any (too) early of a sex education program are also to blame.

Despite being busy, I didn't anticipate it being brought up until later in PS. At 8, we can assume that all is well, fun and games without the added pressure of sex being mentioned at school (within the classes, not the playground).

So, when it is the 'first' educationally organized discussion to youth, it is no wonder that NOW the cirriculum is pre-set to notify parents and arm them with consent forms. As it should be. (just in case some parents decided to opt out, they should have that choice, freedom and privilege.). Also, since that time, the new 'first' classes around here have been moved up in grade to the 5th.






blacksword404 -> RE: Sex talk at middle school upsets parents, students (3/6/2010 3:09:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: candisa

Thank you for sharing that video,


You're welcome.




kiwisub12 -> RE: Sex talk at middle school upsets parents, students (3/6/2010 4:59:49 PM)

I was pretty mortified when my mum took me to the "sex talk". And for the longest time, I was under the impression that you got pregnant by running through the long grass towards the guy with your arms out and your hair blowing in the breeze.

Obviously , the talk was a little too symbolic for me.

It took a young male teacher when i was 12 giving an impromptu speech in school for me to be clued in on how people reproduced. And even at that time, we were aware that he wasn't supposed to be telling us this info.

Wheither or not we get our info. from peers, parents or others, it is usually a bit of a shock. And in 20 years, those kids will be none the worse for how they learnt.




LafayetteLady -> RE: Sex talk at middle school upsets parents, students (3/6/2010 5:04:25 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

Agree with Aileen there. (as in the FIRST source).


Sure you agree. Would you still agree if she told her daughters what she thought they needed to know at the age of 5? Of course not, then you be thinking she was as "odd" as me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U
In my instance, (at the third grade level) by parents NOT being told beforehand of the cirriculum, it is akin to the article in which they said 'do not tell your parents'...Not much of a difference really.


Not even close. You were too busy with two jobs and getting your own education to even know what the curriculum was. As for your earlier comment, I was a full time student AND a full time worker when my son was younger. And you know what? I still found the time to be his little league coach, chairperson of his cub scout pack, AND know what was going on his classroom. Make excuses all you want. The bottom line is that you probably would tell your third grader that babies come by storks or are left in the cabbage patch because you are too uptight and embarassed to tell them otherwise. Thankfully, they got some real information at school

I never said your kid was the one telling others on the playground. But if you seriously belief your kid wasn't listening with rapt attention to the kid who was, you are a fool.

quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U
At that young of an age, one wouldn't assume you'd have to 'rely' on anyone to teach them anything. Is the sneaky way schools go about it sometimes that aggrivates me.


Since there are parents like you who don't teach them, the schools do. Your school wasn't being "sneaky" about it. The curriculum for every grade is available from the local school board (isn't that where you worked?), all one needs to do is ask for it if they want to know. Problem is that parents don't ask and then are infuriated because they sat back and expected to be told rather than taking an active part.

quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U
To assume I (or anyone) am unfit because I (and others) were unaware of the topic being discussed at that time is ludicruous. If that were the case, these parents (as in article), and countless others who were not notified of any (too) early of a sex education program are also to blame.


No one said you were "unfit" because you were unaware. It was because you have such a problem with them learning it. What makes YOU the one to decide what is "too" early to learn?

quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U
Despite being busy, I didn't anticipate it being brought up until later in PS. At 8, we can assume that all is well, fun and games without the added pressure of sex being mentioned at school (within the classes, not the playground).


Why is it that you assume that? Many schools will bring the curriculum if they find they have female students who are developing early to hopefully diminish any embarassment that might be caused to those girls.

quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U
So, when it is the 'first' educationally organized discussion to youth, it is no wonder that NOW the cirriculum is pre-set to notify parents and arm them with consent forms. As it should be. (just in case some parents decided to opt out, they should have that choice, freedom and privilege.). Also, since that time, the new 'first' classes around here have been moved up in grade to the 5th.


You do realize that since they moved it up, they are getting a whole lot more information as well? The bottom line is I really don't care what you did or didn't teach your kids or want them to know. Just because a couple of them have gone on to college doesn't mean they went any less uptight than their parents. YOU are the one that brought up how "mortified" you were that any mention of sex was mentioned. You didn't answer, not because it was a private thing about your kids, but because you know damn well it was something so minimal and that even though you were mortified, every one here would see how you over reacted.

You can call me odd, slut, whatever. Looking at your profile, I see you are an "expert" at Christianity, lol. It explains so much of your holier than thou, "I am the only one to teach my kids" line of bullshit.

Oh yea, and before you even try to go there, I AM a christian, and my mother was a born again, so you might want to rethink it before you do.








came4U -> RE: Sex talk at middle school upsets parents, students (3/6/2010 7:53:50 PM)

quote:

Sure you agree. Would you still agree if she told her daughters what she thought they needed to know at the age of 5? Of course not, then you be thinking she was as "odd" as me.


It would be HER decision as a parent. If her or anyone's oddity were in question or confronted that is a matter for the CPS.

quote:

Make excuses all you want. The bottom line is that you probably would tell your third grader that babies come by storks or are left in the cabbage patch because you are too uptight and embarassed to tell them otherwise. Thankfully, they got some real information at school

I never said your kid was the one telling others on the playground. But if you seriously belief your kid wasn't listening with rapt attention to the kid who was, you are a fool.


Insane assumations. What I did tell my kids, is of no concern to you...here or elsewhere. I never referred to you and playgrounds.


This ain't about YOU. (other posts were made yanno--about how some behaved/learned at school).

quote:

Since there are parents like you who don't teach them, the schools do. Your school wasn't being "sneaky" about it. The curriculum for every grade is available from the local school board (isn't that where you worked?), all one needs to do is ask for it if they want to know. Problem is that parents don't ask and then are infuriated because they sat back and expected to be told rather than taking an active part.


It is not a school's business before a certain age to decide what is taught sexually or not. Even THEN, it is decided by the taxpayers/parents and THEN the school board itself. Yes, it was sneaky. Just like in the OP, rules like this were bypassed.

I worked at the school, in another class that had a different cirriculum (for older kids, and sex ed was not in my planners). The problem is with parents who don't ask??? Expected to be told? Just who runs your school boards...the taxpayers or the system, that you assume that parents shouldn't be notified about something this sensitive?

Seems you are in agreement with a Big Brother/all goverment invasion of family and privacy. Maybe we should send our kids off to camp at 4 to never return...put them into the hands of 'capable' strangers that we know nothing about--not that we have to, accordign to you, the STATE decides what and when things should be done, said, taught and how to parent. Wow. Creepy.

quote:

No one said you were "unfit" because you were unaware. It was because you have such a problem with them learning it. What makes YOU the one to decide what is "too" early to learn?


You implied that I had no basis to complain because I was too busy:

quote:

As for you came4u, you might want to consider becoming a bit more involved in knowing what is going on with your kid's schooling so you don't get anymore "mortifying" surprises.


That is more or less calling someone unfit. Although, you claim the same about our own:

quote:

I have known practically every little detail about my son's education throughout his whole life, and continue to be as well informed now that he is in high school. Perhaps you might want to consider actually paying a bit more attention to what your kid is doing.


As I said, last page..., PRACTICALLY doesn't count, now does it?

Are you saying you don't know every detail, every minute of your own kid's life? Shock and awe here. We'd think you follow him around with your eyeballs attached to his packpack.

For someone who wants to, and does keep track of every detail of their kid's life, you sure want others to give up that responsibility because they are 'less deserving'. You seem to want to be in charge of your own, but dismiss other parents as 'dumb, unknowing, inhibited and therefore fodder for the more 'sexually educated', since they have far better parenting skills. PRACTICALLY? lol. Sorry, I worked a lot and until your kid is taught small weapons training in 5th grade, you will continue to overlook the issues that others find offensive. Hey, I think your kid should have small weapons handling in 5th grade btw. Like it or not. In fact, I think I have a lot of decisions to make for you. Perhaps you cannot handle decisions yourself, aweee..you NEED me [;)]

quote:

You do realize that since they moved it up, they are getting a whole lot more information as well? The bottom line is I really don't care what you did or didn't teach your kids or want them to know.


You do realize that since they moved it up was because parents were pissed off? I don't want you to care, you are not MY kid's parent -- thank God.

quote:

You didn't answer, not because it was a private thing about your kids, but because you know damn well it was something so minimal and that even though you were mortified, every one here would see how you over reacted.


Maybe you think it is over-reacting. To ME (the parent) I can 'react' any way I choose. Everyone here can see that too and ...they can also react about their own ums their way. NOT my NOR your problem nor business to assess or judge., is it?

quote:

You can call me odd, slut, whatever. Looking at your profile, I see you are an "expert" at Christianity, lol. It explains so much of your holier than thou, "I am the only one to teach my kids" line of bullshit.


So, you have decided, for all citizens that OTHERS or you should teach our kids? Odd is right, yet again.

I can also be an expert at cooking, does that include me as also being an expert in food-servicing kink, or if bowling....does that make me a world renowned bowler? Expert in Islam too, since I was raised around many. Oh and swimming. Does that mean swimmers never drown? Volunteerism...does that mean I will work myself to death for free...like I am Jesus himself? Movies...expert. Does that mean that I am akin to a Siskel n fukn Ebert? Travel (expert) does that mean I get a reality show on Discovery going back from Italy to Japan? Grow up. You are creepy indeed, uhhh lady.

quote:

Oh yea, and before you even try to go there, I AM a christian, and my mother was a born again, so you might want to rethink it before you do.


So was Carrie's mom. We all know how she ended up. *pictures LL's mom on a doorframe with knives in her arms. *shudders. yuk. Is that some kinda curse threat and you will haunt my dreams and your arm is gonna come up outta the cold earth?

quote:

so you might want to rethink it before you do.



lololol odd, yep. I would want to re-think your sanity, in this case.




blacksword404 -> RE: Sex talk at middle school upsets parents, students (3/6/2010 9:34:24 PM)

Okay ladies. You two have made your points to each other. Now you are just potshotting. (If it ain't a word it is now)




came4U -> RE: Sex talk at middle school upsets parents, students (3/6/2010 9:40:02 PM)

quote:

Okay ladies. You two have made your points to each other. Now you are just potshotting. (If it ain't a word it is now)


I'm not gonna ignore some words to make due for another.

I am right, she is bred from a born again Christian, and now she is rebelling by into conforming others into a a born again sex-ed Gestapo-routine.

Sorry, that pontification-panzer don't roll here. But then again, I have to tread (haha pun) lightly, because she put some kinda vex/curse on me.




domiguy -> RE: Sex talk at middle school upsets parents, students (3/6/2010 9:41:14 PM)

I think they are going to eat each other out.....I hope they don't catch an std.




came4U -> RE: Sex talk at middle school upsets parents, students (3/6/2010 10:00:37 PM)

quote:

I think they are going to eat each other out.....I hope they don't catch an std.


eesh, I am not into chicks and certainly not into switches even if she were a dude. All sounds so confusing. I mean, if she can't decide if she is sub or the dom one day from the next, then no wonder she assume that if we are here on a (bdsm site) that all of us here must be less inhibited hippies who are totally incapable of making decisions of our youth's education process.

All hail. *swings arm up




CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: Sex talk at middle school upsets parents, students (3/6/2010 11:20:13 PM)

Now to get back on track...

I'm so glad we homeschool.  My son was the only toddler in our small town to have anatomically correct dolls, and yes, he was the one giving all the other neighbor kids their information. 

Homeschooled and/or Christian does not mean backward or prudish, those are options for any religious beliefs. 

But I explained things my way, in my own time, and it was a family thing.  When I was in school and they gave the talk, most of us wanted to crawl into a hole and die rather than be there.  Nothing was mentioned about morals along with the sex talk, and it would have been nice to have the adults start with saying that this is what adults do, or when adults want to prevent having a baby or catching one of these diseases...instead of informing us like we were already doing it. 

If they had wanted to scare us into celibacy...why not go into detail with charts over how falliable birth control methods can be, even when used perfectly every time.  That some medicines can make the birth control pill null and void that month...how horrible it is to be waiting for that pregnancy test while all alone in your bathroom when you're NOT married...about how having a baby while still a teenager isn't glamorous, but becomes your ball and chain that never lets you sleep.  (The baby education talk should be given while a tape recording of a baby with colic is playing, for the entire hour). 

How about talk that some STDs can't be kept away by a condom...crabs can be caught from a toilet seat or by bumping uglies, lol, herpes can be passed on in spite of a condom, that cold sores are a type of herpes that can be passed from oral to genital, and some sore throats can actually be from the clap, etc. 

Not bad for a Christian education.  Bit by bit, this is how one parent educated her son.  I still think the school should only provide the bare bones of puberty and reproduction for group meetings, and provide books in their library for the curious minded who want privacy and more information.  That's where I got mine.

Btw, Mom only said, "All men are dogs"  and, "Whenever you start having sex I'm throwing you out of the house."
Dad only said, "Don't get married till you're 35, and then wait 2 years before having kids."

And for kids whose parents were like mine, whatever happened to going to libraries?  Our kids still know how to read, right?  Did we burn all the "how to" sex books and replace them with pictures only magazines?





LafayetteLady -> RE: Sex talk at middle school upsets parents, students (3/6/2010 11:33:43 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

quote:

Okay ladies. You two have made your points to each other. Now you are just potshotting. (If it ain't a word it is now)


I'm not gonna ignore some words to make due for another.

I am right, she is bred from a born again Christian, and now she is rebelling by into conforming others into a a born again sex-ed Gestapo-routine.

Sorry, that pontification-panzer don't roll here. But then again, I have to tread (haha pun) lightly, because she put some kinda vex/curse on me.



You really are nuts. And quite uptight. I wasn't "bred" from a born again Christian, and I seriously doubt you would know much about it regardless of your self proclaimed "expert" status.

You can always really tell a lot about a person by how they respond to questions from others. So far, you have called me "odd," "insane," and then let the world know you think people who are switches are indecisive, and then equated BDSM with a bunch of "uninhibited hippies" who are incapable of making educational decisions about our kids. To be honest, you haven't been rational for much of this post, and perhaps should check to make sure you are using the correct dosing on your medications, 'cause you are getting really crazy.

You seem to think that you can glean a whole lot from what I said, but what can be gleaned from your posts is that you have some serious issues about people disagreeing with how you raised your children, your views on sex, sneaky school systems and God only knows what else.





came4U -> RE: Sex talk at middle school upsets parents, students (3/7/2010 12:02:02 AM)

quote:

You can always really tell a lot about a person by how they respond to questions from others. So far, you have called me "odd," "insane,"


I never called you insane, check all 3 pages for the word 'insane'....sorry you are so paranoid that you think so. Maybe you are then. I said:

quote:

Insane assumations. What I did tell my kids, is of no concern to you...here or elsewhere. I never referred to you and playgrounds.


yet, you say to me:
quote:

You really are nuts. And quite uptight. I wasn't "bred" from a born again Christian, and I seriously doubt you would know much about it regardless of your self proclaimed "expert" status.


hmm I am an expert at what? knowing if you are paranoid and your mom is a born again Christian? lol no, you posted it here

quote:

Oh yea, and before you even try to go there, I AM a christian, and my mother was a born again, so you might want to rethink it before you do.


So what about your paragraph that you did write not being a being born and bred from a ...what are you forgetting??? do you forget what you write? How? I posted it there for you., just in case you are a lil slow.

quote:

You can always really tell a lot about a person by how they respond to questions from others. So far, you have called me "odd," "insane," and then let the world know you think people who are switches are indecisive,


Well, you are odd., to me. Switches are kinda indecisive. They are not Dom or sub, so that leads any person to believe that they are not .quite..decisive, now are they? I don't know the official sexually-correct way of saying this but, you don't know one day or person from another if you are stronger or weaker? thus the term switch. Thus, the term I used, UNDECISIVE. Kinda similar to being bi, you aren't quite certain of which team you play on/for, you just wanna play.

quote:

and then equated BDSM with a bunch of "uninhibited hippies" who are incapable of making educational decisions about our kids. To be honest, you haven't been rational for much of this post, and perhaps should check to make sure you are using the correct dosing on your medications, 'cause you are getting really crazy.


You should read the first page of this thread again and how you referred BDSM'ers as thos that should be less inhibited. Hunny, I might be less inhibited, but when it comes to minors, YEP, I am. Oooo Now I am the one on meds? and I am really gettin "crazy"? uhhhg pfttt

quote:

You seem to think that you can glean a whole lot from what I said, but what can be gleaned from your posts is that you have some serious issues about people disagreeing with how you raised your children, your views on sex, sneaky school systems and God only knows what else.


There was no disagreement in how I raised my children except for 'YOU' so don't exclaim that 'people' did. My views on sex when it comes to the lil ones, yep, I am pretty square. I think you are kinda freaky for bringing up God and Christianity (about 4, 5 times now) and I never have. Seems you have the issues with the big Guy (and his son), not me.

You are disturbed. NOT my problem, your religious abuses/issues. k?

Yes, you are graspin'. Jumping out of the ground, trying to pull me to hell wiff ya. Sorry, not going LOL. I'm too much of a good girl [;)]

memories? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgR0PN0xTI0





mikeyOfGeorgia -> RE: Sex talk at middle school upsets parents, students (3/7/2010 12:20:09 AM)

Granted, the seminar was wrong...but honestly, most of the people that really got upset over it and are raising the most Hell are the bible thumpers. now, mind you, i don't find the situation mentioned in the new story funny in the least, what i do find funny is that the religious community (for the most part) find the idea, discussion or the very thought of sex, appalling...despite these passages:

Genesis 1:28 God blessed them; and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth."

Genesis 9:7 "As for you, be fruitful and multiply; Populate the earth abundantly and multiply in it."

these people and their current mentality is hilarious (to me, anyway). do they even "read" this damn thing anyway?




StrangerThan -> RE: Sex talk at middle school upsets parents, students (3/7/2010 12:30:33 AM)

When I was 16, I learned I was going to be a father. So I'm pretty much in agreement with teach them what they need to know early. My daughters were mortified when I talked to them about it, but hell, better to be mortified at home in  discussion than at home trying to tell dad that you're pregnant, got someone pregnant,  or toting some std. Trust me. I know that one from experience.

Anyone who thinks abstinence works has forgotten their youth. Even if you were saintly and avoided sex, think about the majority who didn't and cut your kid some slack. Saints don't come around but every 100 years or so.

But now, teachers who say, don't tell your parents, well, they're the kind you want to meet in a dark alley somewhere and walk out not so much feeling better about life, but feeling better about the situation. Of course, they're also the kind who will cower behind every legal construct in the country, so better make sure it is a very dark alley.






came4U -> RE: Sex talk at middle school upsets parents, students (3/7/2010 12:57:54 AM)

By the last few years and recent headlines, it is scary what these teachers are doing and saying (male and female). The last of whom I would trust with any intial talk about sex is a stranger, you are right, they may as well be a creep in the alley in that case. I learned, in turn I told my own yungins that if you feel 'uncomfortable' at school about ANYTHING, it is OK to come home. It is OK to walk out, go to the office, call home, whatever they have to do to remove themselves from an uncomfy situation that doesn't seem 'right'. If you deny them this ability and right, they will not learn nor assume they can do this as adults. They are not the be all of authority over themselves if they do not learn this.

What good is any of our Constitutions (of independence from authority, and to be a 'person') if our own children are afraid to or feel obligated to remain in a bad/uncomfortable situation?? Teaching them how to walk away from a bad situation in any terms at an early age is way more educational than any sex-education course. Knowing the basics of personal safety and security (mental or physical) first and then learning about the societal complications later is a lot more productive. Learning to respect themselves in the most basic ways...aka, if it feels uncomfortable, STOP, GO HOME. CALL ME, etc.

Sometimes it is just better to educated and give advice upon your own experiences and realities...in your own time (and when you feel your um's are ready). The alternative is leaving it for the last minute and tossing that responsibility to the system and unless you are aware of every detail of the teachings and you are CERTAIN that it is guarenteed to be as it was suggested, you still have to 'kilroy' yourself into the entire scene. You do, as a parent have the right to attend at any time, afterall.




Justme696 -> RE: Sex talk at middle school upsets parents, students (3/7/2010 12:59:26 AM)

Small question.
IS there sex education ( as part of a programm) on schools in the USA?
Or does it depends on the school?




came4U -> RE: Sex talk at middle school upsets parents, students (3/7/2010 1:03:00 AM)

quote:

on schools


?? did you mean 'in'?

uhh ya, every state, and city/district board has their own different cirruculum., of course. They vary, but very little. Same as Canada.

*edit: ahh ok, I see you are Dutch.




SweetDommes -> RE: Sex talk at middle school upsets parents, students (3/7/2010 1:30:30 AM)

The sex talk that I got from my parents was pathetic. It consisted of my mom telling me to "find someone who treats you like you deserve to be treated and who loves you as much as you love him". I didn't know how babies were actually produced until 10th grade health class. I wish that there had been some kind of decent sex ed in my school in middle school. I didn't watch the link, but from the discussion, the talk in question was done inappropriately. That does not mean that the topic, itself, was inappropriate.

At my school, in 4th grade, we got separated into boys and girls, and the girls learned about the whole "hair growing, bleeding, breasts growing" stuff. No idea what the boys learned. We did not learn where babies came from, or how the "boy parts" and "girl parts" worked together, just that they were different (like we didn't already know that). The joys of growing up in a small town, where there were 3 bars and 26 churches for less than 6000 people.




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