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Interesting Argument - 3/7/2010 10:39:41 AM   
TheLadyandLimey


Posts: 22
Joined: 12/24/2009
Status: offline 		I was on another site, in one of the chat rooms when someone asked me a rather personal question (in my opinion). "where do you go to college" , now being as i have just joined the site less then a month ago , i really don't feel right telling people this. before i could answer my boyfriend, being protective, answered the same why i would. saying we didn't feel comfortable answering that question. the person who had asked it became very offended. trying to make us and  our wariness seem like we were in the wrong.  I would like to get everyone's thoughts on this.   

< Message edited by TheLadyandLimey -- 3/7/2010 10:42:19 AM >
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RE: Interesting Argument - 3/7/2010 10:47:54 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline 		Bad luck for him.
His/her reaction shows what person (s)he is. Be glad (s)he left early and not afther a few months ;)

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RE: Interesting Argument - 3/7/2010 11:04:09 AM   
jujubeeMB


Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline 		Don't ever give people personal information until you want them to know exactly who and where you are. It's amazingly easy to track down someone once you have something as simple as the name of their college. Don't feel bad about your reaction. Next time just tell the person that they're being rude, asking you to reveal personal information on the internet, and that you're the ones who are offended.

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RE: Interesting Argument - 3/7/2010 11:11:56 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I might have asked the same question, just making conversation. But I would not get huffy when you said no.

The other person was either a predator or had the maturity of a five year old.


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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Interesting Argument - 3/7/2010 11:16:06 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		So, where do you go to college then...........?

There's a lot of nutjobs out here, and being a nutjob does not preclude the intelligence to track someone down by combining tidbits of information here and there.

E

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RE: Interesting Argument - 3/7/2010 11:46:21 AM   
lucylucy


Posts: 612
Joined: 3/1/2009
Status: offline 		The question isn't offensive, but the overblown reaction to your not wanting to answer it is. You always have the right to not give out personal information and you should trust your gut. On the internet, it's always better to be too cautious than too trusting, I think.

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RE: Interesting Argument - 3/7/2010 12:11:02 PM   
GraciousLady


Posts: 529
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline 		You are not obligated to give anyone any information about you. Some information may make you feel personally uncomfortable or, when coupled with other info, may lead to your whereabouts. The person talking to you has no obligation to continue communicating with you if they do not like to how things are going. Neither of you should have become offended by polite refusal of any information. They did. You were not at fault. They have the problem not you.

(in reply to TheLadyandLimey)
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RE: Interesting Argument - 3/7/2010 12:37:31 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		I used to teach computer to elementary students and one of my first classes always centered around showing these children how vulnerable they were online. That any type of information given out could be traced back to them in unforeseen ways. Children are so open and trusting too, it was a challenge getting them to be more wary.

True story....I went to the airport to pick up a friend and saw a group of high school students there waiting for their luggage with matching tshirts on with the name of their school on the front and the child's last name on the back. Oh my....hellllllooooo! Who was in charge and made that brainless decision?

No, you did the right thing and it's like what everyone else said, the person who reacted badly to your holding back on the information was overreacting and shouldn't have expected you to give that information out if you didn't want to.

(in reply to TheLadyandLimey)
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RE: Interesting Argument - 3/7/2010 1:12:03 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		Yeah, I agree. There is no need for someone to even ask which college you attend. Whichever city you live in will have 1, 2 or endless amounts of colleges. If it is a smaller town, it would be easy for them to narrow it down, but frankly why would they? If someone did, they are nuts, plain and simple.

(in reply to lizi)
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RE: Interesting Argument - 3/7/2010 1:36:58 PM   
wisdomtogive


Posts: 636
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline 		You did good. It is good to control who you give information out about yourself. The person in the chat room proved to you why it is important to not give out info freely to any one.  Good job!

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RE: Interesting Argument - 3/7/2010 1:50:39 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		That's "kind of" a gray area but I'd be wary of giving out any type of personal *details* that someone could use to find you.
If someone asks me where I went to college I simply say, "to a business school in New England." There must be a hundred of them!
New England has more schools than anyplace on earth I think. They're like bars, you walk through Boston and there's like one on every corner!
About the most "personal" I get is to give my name and city, "Tom", "Myrtle Beach."

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RE: Interesting Argument - 3/7/2010 1:54:39 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

About the most "personal" I get is to give my name and city, "Tom", "Myrtle Beach."


<<roams to the seaside with a sand bucket n shovel asking everybody "Have you seen Tom???" "Are you Tom??"

<<would need someone to bail me out within an hour LOL

(in reply to popeye1250)
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RE: Interesting Argument - 3/7/2010 5:49:29 PM   
servantforuse


Posts: 6363
Joined: 3/8/2006
Status: offline 		Was this your first time on the internet ? There is a key called delete. Grow up.

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RE: Interesting Argument - 3/7/2010 5:53:32 PM   
Elisabella


Posts: 3939
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I might have asked the same question, just making conversation. But I would not get huffy when you said no.

The other person was either a predator or had the maturity of a five year old.



This.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: Interesting Argument - 3/7/2010 11:50:02 PM   
couldbemage


Posts: 112
Joined: 7/16/2008
Status: offline 		OMFG

There are some damn paranoid people here.

Most of the people I know have enough info available online that they be easily found.
They want to be found, it's called advertising.

(in reply to Elisabella)
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RE: Interesting Argument - 3/8/2010 12:07:55 AM   
jujubeeMB


Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: couldbemage
OMFG

There are some damn paranoid people here.

Most of the people I know have enough info available online that they be easily found.
They want to be found, it's called advertising.


You've clearly never been a girl

(in reply to couldbemage)
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RE: Interesting Argument - 3/8/2010 3:56:49 AM   
couldbemage


Posts: 112
Joined: 7/16/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

quote:

ORIGINAL: couldbemage
OMFG

There are some damn paranoid people here.

Most of the people I know have enough info available online that they be easily found.
They want to be found, it's called advertising.


You've clearly never been a girl


Several of the photogs, pro dommes, buisness owners, realtors, and such that I know are.

The phone number on all of my mother's marketing crap went right to our house. (No cell phones back then.)

(in reply to jujubeeMB)
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RE: Interesting Argument - 3/8/2010 4:48:49 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		You could try the old Ann Landers line, saying "I'll forgive you asking that if you'll forgive me not answering".

However, it's better not to respond at all but to talk to someone else in the chat room about what they posted. Just ignore them.


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RE: Interesting Argument - 3/8/2010 6:57:47 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I might have asked the same question, just making conversation. But I would not get huffy when you said no.

The other person was either a predator or had the maturity of a five year old.



Agreed. I can totally see myself asking, as a bit of conversation. I work in a big college town and trust me.......knowing someone attends the University of Iowa is SOOO not going to help me track them down. It is a big school.

However, if someone declined to answer, I certainly would not get upset. In retrospect I would consider that not all schools are the size of my local college and....well you get the picture.

I might think it rather paranoid for a person with a photo online, to hold back on the school, but no, definitely not worth getting upset about.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Interesting Argument - 3/8/2010 8:29:05 AM   
MissBeautiful2U


Posts: 98
Joined: 12/5/2008
Status: offline 		If someone I am chatting to says they are in school, I very well might ask what they are going to school for and where they go to school simply for purposes of making conversation and getting to know the person.  It would not offend me if someone said, "I'd rather not share that until I know you better..."  Whether or not that day ever comes :) Or something along those lines.  You didn't include the exact words that were said, but sometimes it is in how you phrase something that can cause hurt feelings, however from what you said, it does not appear that the person you were talking with had a reason to become upset.  (And besides, getting upset was SOOO gonna change your mind right? LOL NOT)

I like the suggestion that Popeye1250 made regarding "a business school in New England".  If you can come up with a truthful response that gives enough information about you without really giving out personal information that might help for the general conversation purposes and still preserve your privacy.  Mind you, I am not saying that you SHOULD do this, just something that you COULD do.

If something like this comes up again, be nice but firm in whatever response you give in declining to give out personal information.  Try to keep in mind that MOST people who ask questions that seem too personal to you mean no harm.  This does not mean you should answer, just that you should not instantly become defensive or annoyed with them for asking.  (Again, not saying that this happened).  So long as you are satisfied that you are not being rude to what could be an innocent question, if someone gets upset, it is the internet... close the chat and move on.

Have a good one.

(in reply to TheLadyandLimey)
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