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Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture - 3/7/2010 10:51:55 AM   
PenOnBeadedChain


Posts: 58
Joined: 8/5/2009
Status: offline 		This is hilarious - and also a very frightening reminder of how many (driving and voting) Americans believe that the Revelations story is literally true. A guy has started a website matching up evangelicals with atheists who will care for their pets which are left behind when the former are sucked up into the Mother Ship due to their peity (pets can't accept Christ, ergo they don't get to make the trip when Hale-Bopp, er, Armageddon comes around). Just $100 for a ten-year contract! The potential market for this is huge, what with a third of all Americans believing in the End Times sci-fi story.

Got to hand it to this enterprising fellow. After all, why should the Republicans be the only operation exploiting these poor, mentally feeble people?

http://newsweek.washingtonpost.com/onfaith/spirited_atheist/2010/03/untitled_for_now.html

quote:

"If we thought the Rapture was really going to happen," Centre told Business Week, "obviously our rate structure would be much higher." Centre donates some of his "profits" to food banks.
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RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture - 3/7/2010 11:04:09 AM   
TheHeretic


Posts: 19100
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: California, USA
Status: offline 		But could an evil athiest be trusted not to just sacrifice Fluffykins to the devil or something? 

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RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture - 3/7/2010 11:08:37 AM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		"Pets?" I want the keys to their Cadillacs.

"Beam him up Scotty!"

< Message edited by popeye1250 -- 3/7/2010 11:10:16 AM >

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RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture - 3/7/2010 11:09:50 AM   
PenOnBeadedChain


Posts: 58
Joined: 8/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheHeretic

But could an evil athiest be trusted not to just sacrifice Fluffykins to the devil or something?


It's a real concern, and one brought up by the head of the Rapture Ready website, who was contacted by the author of that piece. Plus could an atheist really be counted on to continue the little pooch or kitty's important religious education? Non-human animals may "not have souls", but clearly they can be taught to fear (rolled up newspaper and all that) - so it seems like religious indocrination should be as feasible as with humans.

(in reply to TheHeretic)
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RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture - 3/7/2010 11:11:51 AM   
PenOnBeadedChain


Posts: 58
Joined: 8/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

"Pets?" I want the keys to their Cadillacs.

"Beam him up Scotty!"


There you go! I just checked, and rapturevalet.com is not taken yet. I'd go for it before anyone else grabs it.

(in reply to popeye1250)
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RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture - 3/7/2010 12:43:18 PM   
MichiganHeadmast


Posts: 726
Joined: 8/13/2006
Status: offline 		You can't lose. If everyone else gets raptured, you can't get sued. If you get raptured along with everyone else, you still can't get sued! (Where are ya gonna find a lawyer in heaven?)

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RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture - 3/7/2010 12:45:49 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		What about human pets? Pony girl patty? Disbelieving slut..... and she isn't a very good slave. Pees on the carpet, refuses to cut her pinky toe off, to prove her slave-heart.

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Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

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RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture - 3/7/2010 12:49:09 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		I'd like to volunteer my legal knowledge to handle the estates of those lucky enough to be expecting the rapture as an imminent prospect - after all, God may not give advance warning any more than that already provided, so its important to plan ahead and sign me over as trustee with full power of attorney now.

And its a bargain price - for just 1% (thats a full 9% less than your Church tithes people!) of the value of your estate per annum I will take on this onerous burden (and take in your pets too when the happy day arrives) and see to it that your estate gets put to the best possible use - 'cause you cant take it with you remember, and its easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle and all that.

E

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RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture - 3/7/2010 5:21:52 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline 		Two words. Batshit crazy.

- LA

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RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture - 3/7/2010 6:08:52 PM   
Kirata


Posts: 15477
Joined: 2/11/2006
From: USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

Two words. Batshit crazy.

Nevertheless, I wish I'd thought of it.

K.

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RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture - 3/7/2010 6:49:17 PM   
PenOnBeadedChain


Posts: 58
Joined: 8/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

Two words. Batshit crazy.

- LA


Now that's no way to talk about the base of the American Republican party. Perhaps nicer to call them "differently aware in a flying-echolocating-mammal's stool sort of way".

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RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture - 3/7/2010 6:51:26 PM   
Smutmonger


Posts: 995
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline 		Yummm..doggy stew!

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RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture - 3/8/2010 12:31:04 AM   
Fellow


Posts: 1486
Joined: 9/21/2009
Status: offline 		The logic: Rapture can not take place because we do not have information anything like this ever occurring. The former statement is logically incorrect (typical atheist view) but this is what most believe. It is certainly rational way of thinking. I think WW3 is very likely event and perhaps God would prefer it to a Rapture as the last too simple and boring solution.

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RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture - 3/8/2010 12:35:41 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		~fr~

what about ME??????

I'm gonna get stuck with some crazy god-bothering virgin when all da fun guys get exterminated.

Feckin' unfair ...

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RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture - 3/8/2010 1:01:02 AM   
CynthiaWVirginia


Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline 		I don't know about y'all, but my animals are coming with me. 


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RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture - 3/8/2010 4:09:05 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PenOnBeadedChain


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

Two words. Batshit crazy.

- LA


Now that's no way to talk about the base of the American Republican party. Perhaps nicer to call them "differently aware in a flying-echolocating-mammal's stool sort of way".


Cute. But I'm Canadian. I can call them whatever I want ;-)

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture - 3/8/2010 4:11:28 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

Yummm..doggy stew!


No not dogs. Disney made sure they were the one exception.



- LA


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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture - 3/8/2010 4:34:23 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheHeretic

But could an evil athiest be trusted not to just sacrifice Fluffykins to the devil or something? 


Oh there will be plenty of "wrong" Christians to take care of Fluffy... Remember, Catholics, Lutherans, Episcopailians and all the other "wrong" Christians will be available.  As well as Jews, Buddhists, Hindus, Taoists, Muslims and another other believers who don't believe the 'right' way.  And of course there's all the children.  Yanno, if you aren't baptised you can't go either so even if you are a child of a 'right' believer then you get left behind because you haven't yet been baptised.    Since these wingnuts don't do infant baptism, they should be more concerned about who is going to take care of their kids...

LadyAngelika is correct... batshit crazy.

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Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

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RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture - 3/8/2010 4:50:02 AM   
NeedToUseYou


Posts: 2297
Joined: 12/24/2005
From: None of your business
Status: offline 		The rapture, already happened, two people went missing in Idaho, all the rest of us, are stuck here. No pet watching problems forthcoming.

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RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture - 3/8/2010 4:59:18 AM   
Louve00


Posts: 1674
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		Rapture?  I thought we had Niviru to deal with. 

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For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearance, as though they were realities and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are. - Niccolo Machiavelli

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