To Respond or to Ignore..

To Respond or to Ignore.. (Full Version)

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Beckyy -> To Respond or to Ignore.. (3/7/2010 10:32:18 PM)
When a submissive get's a message from a Dominant and he or she is not interested..would you rather that they reply and respectfully decline or just ignore the message? Normally, I reply...but if the Dominant lives in another country I tend to ignore the response because I have it listed in my profile that I'm looking locally. Also, if the response looks as though it was copied and pasted into a ton of messages..I tend to ignore them. I was just wanting your opinions on the matter.. Thanks!

PapaBlue -> RE: To Respond or to Ignore.. (3/7/2010 10:46:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Beckyy [W]ould you rather that they reply and respectfully decline or just ignore the message? If I've politely shown my interest, I'd prefer that a woman politely decline. But I think that there are sometimes good reasons to not bother. You've offered some examples. quote: Normally, I reply...but if the Dominant lives in another country I tend to ignore the response because I have it listed in my profile that I'm looking locally. Agreed. If someone can't be bothered to read your profile, then they weren't being polite. You owe them nothing. quote: Also, if the response looks as though it was copied and pasted into a ton of messages..I tend to ignore them. Again, agreed. If they can't set the example by treating you like a special little snowflake (whatever that means to you), then they don't rate your special attention in return.

aldompdx -> RE: To Respond or to Ignore.. (3/7/2010 10:57:11 PM)
IGNORE. It helps deter stalkers and wierdos. Giving attention from any kind of response merely feeds the interaction. Any healhy confident Dom with a mature ego can easily handle being ignored.

dreamerdreaming -> RE: To Respond or to Ignore.. (3/7/2010 11:24:12 PM)
Don't just ignore. BLOCK and delete. This will save both of you time. Also, set your mail controls so that you don't get mail that's not from your target group, in your inbox. Set the unwanted mail to go to your bulk mail, and then you can block and delete from there.

Beckyy -> RE: To Respond or to Ignore.. (3/7/2010 11:34:10 PM)
Thanks for all of the opinions and suggestions :)

oakbear -> RE: To Respond or to Ignore.. (3/7/2010 11:49:17 PM)
I'd suggest answering, unless their initial message indicated a complete failure to read your profile -- indeed, if they hadn't read it at all, say, or indeed expected you to relocate, as you said. Dominants/tops/etc are people too, and just because a person's set of skills and sexual inclinations might lead them that way doesn't mean that they won't take a lack of response as something to wonder about, as fuel for their own potential insecutiries. A simple "Thanks, but no thanks" shouldn't be too much of a waste of time...

WyldHrt -> RE: To Respond or to Ignore.. (3/8/2010 1:58:08 AM)
quote: A simple "Thanks, but no thanks" shouldn't be too much of a waste of time... It isn't, but dealing with what all too often follows is. Most females here start out attempting to reply to everyone, which doesn't last long; then replying to everyone who shows signs that they may have read the profile, which takes a bit longer. In the end, most of the single females get tired of sending polite "no, thank you" emails, because they all too often get either arguments or flat out insults in reply.

Valyraen -> RE: To Respond or to Ignore.. (3/8/2010 4:13:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Beckyy When a submissive get's a message from a Dominant and he or she is not interested..would you rather that they reply and respectfully decline or just ignore the message? Normally, I reply...but if the Dominant lives in another country I tend to ignore the response because I have it listed in my profile that I'm looking locally. Also, if the response looks as though it was copied and pasted into a ton of messages..I tend to ignore them. I was just wanting your opinions on the matter.. Thanks! There's not really a whole lot of originality that I can bring to the table here, but I figured I'd add my two copper. You're young, cute, submissive... the spammers are hoping young enough to be naive so they can get what they want from you, cute is a perk, and submissive (they hope) means you'll do whatever they tell you regardless of whether it makes a bit of sense or not. If you can tell right up front that they clearly haven't read your profile... hell, don't waste your time with someone who obviously doesn't have any respect for you or your desires. Most of the fem subs on the boards get a deluge of junk mail from guys just trying the shotgun approach and hoping someone bites, and you'll unfortunately have a good bit of that in your time here. Unless you like getting yourself emotionally invested in people who don't care about you, my vote also goes for ignore/block, delete, and move on. grins Now, if I were sending you a cmail, of course I'd prefer at least a polite "no thank you" than no response at all... but then, I've been known to send out PMs to comment on someone's profile or picture without any serious content to them at all. Ultimately, though, it's up to you. V

DesFIP -> RE: To Respond or to Ignore.. (3/8/2010 4:30:04 AM)
The problem with responding politely is that too many men will see this as you being coy. After all, you answered them, didn't you? They won't let it drop, they will continue to try to get you to talk to them. And when they discover you meant what you said, that's when you get insults and threatening comments. Unfortunately, politeness online will lead to you getting some very unpleasant emails.

UniqueRaven -> RE: To Respond or to Ignore.. (3/8/2010 6:35:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WyldHrt quote: A simple "Thanks, but no thanks" shouldn't be too much of a waste of time... It isn't, but dealing with what all too often follows is. Most females here start out attempting to reply to everyone, which doesn't last long; then replying to everyone who shows signs that they may have read the profile, which takes a bit longer. In the end, most of the single females get tired of sending polite "no, thank you" emails, because they all too often get either arguments or flat out insults in reply. quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP The problem with responding politely is that too many men will see this as you being coy. After all, you answered them, didn't you? They won't let it drop, they will continue to try to get you to talk to them. And when they discover you meant what you said, that's when you get insults and threatening comments. Unfortunately, politeness online will lead to you getting some very unpleasant emails. i disagree. i have a polite, personally written standard "no thank you" that is kind and wishes the sender well. It takes me about 10 seconds to paste, send, delete. Generally i get one of two responses: 1) No response at all or 2) a thank you for being so kind and thoughtful in my reply. Every once in a while someone will ask me why i think we're not a good match - those i ignore, as he got a response from me, and that was his answer. [;)] They don't pursue. And in literally 1000s of messages i've received on here in the last 4 months i have honestly almost never received arguments, threats, or insults in reply (i actually can only think of 1 right now). i tend to go out with the maxim that what you put out in the world is what you receive in return. Yes i'm an attractive woman, but i really think it is more that i am polite and courteous and kind with everyone, no matter how they approach me. There is an energy that others are able to pick up, and if you're constantly "bracing yourself" for the abusers, i think it actually attracts more than it holds at bay. And it's interesting, this is my standard - it is more important to me how i treat others than anything else. This is a standard that i hold myself to, for my behavior - i want to know that i have treated everyone with kindness. So put me in the group that always sends a polite response - it doesn't take long and i think it's the right thing to do. If things go downhill you can always block messages whenever necessary. [:)]

Nslavu -> RE: To Respond or to Ignore.. (3/8/2010 7:02:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Beckyy When a submissive get's a message from a Dominant and he or she is not interested..would you rather that they reply and respectfully decline or just ignore the message? Normally, I reply...but if the Dominant lives in another country I tend to ignore the response because I have it listed in my profile that I'm looking locally. Also, if the response looks as though it was copied and pasted into a ton of messages..I tend to ignore them. I was just wanting your opinions on the matter.. Thanks! you're under no more obligation to respond here than you would be on the street to smile or sneer at someone who smiled or sneered at you. On the other hand, when I send you pics of the heat seeking monster meatpost you better respond "WOW!!" because I know you would on the street. Having three huge pant legs tends to dominate on the street.. [:D]

crazyml -> RE: To Respond or to Ignore.. (3/8/2010 8:08:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP The problem with responding politely is that too many men will see this as you being coy. After all, you answered them, didn't you? They won't let it drop, they will continue to try to get you to talk to them. And when they discover you meant what you said, that's when you get insults and threatening comments. Unfortunately, politeness online will lead to you getting some very unpleasant emails. Ah so that's why you got the injunction ;-) To the OP - I'm in vigorous agreement with most people here - As a dom it's nice to get a reply, and I personally always respect "no thank-you emails", but at as DesFTP and others say there are plenty of thickos out there who don't understand, so I think it's perfectly ok not to reply.

InvisibleBlack -> RE: To Respond or to Ignore.. (3/8/2010 9:27:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Beckyy When a submissive get's a message from a Dominant and he or she is not interested..would you rather that they reply and respectfully decline or just ignore the message? Normally, I reply...but if the Dominant lives in another country I tend to ignore the response because I have it listed in my profile that I'm looking locally. Also, if the response looks as though it was copied and pasted into a ton of messages..I tend to ignore them. I was just wanting your opinions on the matter.. Thanks! I think it's good to see someone actually asking what the preferred form of etiquette is. These days as internet etiquette goes - no response is a response and it's technically not considered impolite to not respond to someone's initial e-mail. Personally, if I took the time to write an in-depth e-mail to someone, I would prefer a courteous response. If I wrote an off-hand one line hello, I wouldn't really expect a reply unless someone was really interested. Depending on the volume and nature of the mail you receive, you should probably work out if you can respond to all messages and whether it's worth even cutting and pasting a standard response to the ones you're turning down - but I appreciate your concern about responding. It shows a nice mindset. Enjoy your time on CM and good luck in your search!

Musicmystery -> RE: To Respond or to Ignore.. (3/8/2010 10:01:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Beckyy When a submissive get's a message from a Dominant and he or she is not interested..would you rather that they reply and respectfully decline or just ignore the message? Normally, I reply...but if the Dominant lives in another country I tend to ignore the response because I have it listed in my profile that I'm looking locally. Also, if the response looks as though it was copied and pasted into a ton of messages..I tend to ignore them. I was just wanting your opinions on the matter.. Thanks! Strikes me as a silly question, honestly. How do you want to be seen? What kind of person do you wish to be? If you need to be advised that polite replies are appropriate, something is already amiss.

Phoenixpower -> RE: To Respond or to Ignore.. (3/8/2010 10:04:39 AM)
I ignore it when it is obvious that the guy did not read what I am looking for and considers it as being great to just ignore that and tries to date...so I don't reply to doms who obviously can't even read...yep...I am discriminatory that way [:)]

Lockit -> RE: To Respond or to Ignore.. (3/8/2010 10:49:37 AM)
I used to respond to everyone because if someone said hello in passing, I would say hello, but here, I have found that it's best not to respond with a hello back, most of the time. If someone has showed up on who has viewed me and enough time has passed that I know they read before they emailed, I will typically respond if they have been polite. (And I don't mean a polite... wanna do me?!) I found that the majority who email with just a hello or one line or someone I might say no thank you to... most often respond either slam dunking me, calling me names or begging for more attention and when they don't get it, do the first things I mentioned. I am amazed when they don't do it! The worst ones are those who email and say you are pretty or give a compliment... they expect a thank you, like most polite people will give and typically it is a trap! You have to do what you feel is comfortable, but because you are woman or submissive, it isn't anything different than what the rest of us are expected to do because there should be no expectation! Welcome to CM!

Focus50 -> RE: To Respond or to Ignore.. (3/8/2010 11:35:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Beckyy When a submissive get's a message from a Dominant and he or she is not interested..would you rather that they reply and respectfully decline or just ignore the message? Normally, I reply...but if the Dominant lives in another country I tend to ignore the response because I have it listed in my profile that I'm looking locally. Also, if the response looks as though it was copied and pasted into a ton of messages..I tend to ignore them. I was just wanting your opinions on the matter.. Thanks! I'd recommend you at least treat others as they treat you. So it ain't about geography or what title a stranger hangs on their shingle.... If they're polite and sincere, it says something about you if you can't make some effort to reply, even if it's a polite and sincere rejection because of location. It's not like you're gonna end up a slave to your keyboard as it seems 98% of dom mail to fem/subs is from creeps who can't get a girl. And yeah, a blanket copy/paste doesn't cut it, even if they at least spelt your screen-name correctly - those you delete/ignore etc.... Focus.

lovingpet -> RE: To Respond or to Ignore.. (3/8/2010 12:05:49 PM)
I give a polite decline and usually state why. If it goes from there, the person is no longer being polite (since the reason is that I am taken already), so I will just ignore and delete. Any mail that isn't at least reasonably polite gets no answer at all. I haven't had to block anyone except one person and that was more due to slamming my religious beliefs. I don't mind polite debate, but this person made personal attacks. On rare occasion I will turn over a conversation to my partner. That usually takes care of anything I have trouble or don't want to deal with. Block is rarely necessary and most do not pursue after a simple decline with a basic understanding of why. I guess if someone got truely harrassing, I would resort to the block feature, but I have never had to except that one time. lovingpet

sirsholly -> RE: To Respond or to Ignore.. (3/8/2010 12:17:36 PM)
my profile clearly says i am happily married. If someone is stupid enough to ignore that, he does not deserve a response.

MasterSlaveLA -> RE: To Respond or to Ignore.. (3/8/2010 1:20:03 PM)
Tell them to soak a pillowcase in bleach... put it over their head... and breathe in DEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!! [;)] [image]local://upfiles/687741/3DA020D7DE70428E87DB91356B2843E9.jpg[/image]

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